Not to be concerned about my Y1 DDs academic progress,

[RedHotPokers]

or about the quality of teaching at her school, or about how she measures up against her peers, or whether she is bored/being stimulated/challenged by the curriculum.

I feel like the only parent of an infant aged child who is not stressing about reading level, handwriting skills, mathematical capabilities. Surely the key thing for a 5yo is for them to be socialising well and happy in a school environment.

Did people used to worry so goddamn much about little childrens academic achievements? Part of me thinks everyone needs to pace themselves a bit lest they spontaneously combust with school-related worry before their DCs get to secondary school.

Aldi - no probs. (Always laugh at ur name btw!).

but whats is that just reading levels? maybe I just got that wrong?

I have been away for 6+ years.

Surely you find out how they are doing by noting that there is a certain amount of progression (reading books being regularly changed for example) and by spending time at home looking at and reading books, and by attending parents evening. No need to sneak looks at other children's progress.

Here they don't learn to read till 6/7.

At five they can read very little, if at all...I know won't worry if DD is slower at that point.

I taught both mine to read before they started, I a bit now, because it actually hindered them in some ways.

Both boys (although exceptional readers) find it really boring to learn anything else at school! I think thats why I decided to step back with DD, I want her to learn how to learn ...does that make sense? :)

I agree. I wish I'd realised in yr 1. It has taken me until yr 3 to recover my original hope for ds's primary education - that he enjoys learning but it doesn't really matter how he does or where he is in the class.

whatsthe - in the case of my boy it could well be because he is a year younger than the children on level whatever.

There's no rush.

My point is that there is a big difference between:

1. A mother who flashes her child's reading book around in the playground to gloat/make public what a high reading level her child is on or starts conversations with others just so that she can drop in her child's high reading level.

and

2. A mother who is worried about their child and wants to use knowledge of where the rest of the class are to see whether worry is actually necessary or what extra help is available.

I would honestly think that most people wanting reading level info would fall into category 2. Because category 1 is pointless - it's just boasting and nobody gains anything. Category 2 has purpose - to ascertain whether there is a problem and to figure out a solution to help the child.

Just because you don't compare your child to other children, does not mean you do not care. My mum comes from Armenia and in her country they start school at 7 as they deem them more mature and able to handle the academic rigours of school life at that age. I did not learn to read until 6 and write 6/7, I don't think there was as much competition then as there is now and pressure put on children to perform. I went on to get a good BA (hons) and a good Msc degrees. You get a group of adults you cannot tell which one of them started to read at 4 and which one started to read say at 8! I don't compare my dd to other children as she is different as well as having SN so is not comparing like for like. She has made fantastic progress since she started foundation in September, and can do so much more than say a few months back. Therefore I know that the school is doing well for her.

I don't think being behind / ahead or in the middle means anything at this age. Their brains are still developing and some will be faster than others, a bit like potty training. This is why other countries wait until 7 to introduce reading.

There is an age gap of almost 12 months between the youngest and oldest child in the reception class. That often accounts for different levels of achievement.

I think you are unreasonable not to care about the quality of teaching. Children needs good teachers to be happy. If a child is happy then the academics look after themselves.

I think I would be concerned if my DD was struggling, but as she is doing fairly averagely I am happy. As the DD of pushy parents who would rather I was clever than HAPPY, I can honestly say my top priority is her settling in, making friends and enjoying herself! I am not going to do what my parents did. No way.

I am lucky though to know that her school is excellent both in terms of attainment and pastoral care. I spend time there as a helper (in another year) and the more time I spend there, seeing the school from the inside, the happier I am :)

Well if your worried about your child progress surely you should go to the teacher, each child is different and some are academic some not, so just because your child is not reaching targets does not necessarily mean the quality of the teaching is bad.

Hmm a tough one. DS is only 2 so I have no real experience of this yet. However, I do expect that I will be very interested (not stressed!) in how he's doing, whether he's bored, stimulated or whatever. I think at times I'd also like to know whether he falls top / middle / or bottom of his class academically. I wouldn't be at all bothered wherever he fell amongst those, but do find it all quite interesting. I couldn't care less how he tallies up with individual children though as they're all just that - individual.

Part of me thinks it doesn't matter at all whether you take an interest or not. I have 2 nieces (sisters). One has just started in reception, one is in year 2. I had them stay with me a couple of nights ago so listened to them read. I was quite saddened to see that nobody from home had listened to either of them read since they started in their year groups in September. But it seems to not make a difference. Of the 2, the youngest is one of the high achievers in her class and the eldest is at the bottom and needs some extra help. In terms of books and words to learn etc, they're on the same material.

So, academically, they are all individual and there's not a lot you can do to change that in my opinion. But, it is nice to have a parent who takes an interest.

If that's what makes you happy, op, then of course YANBU.

However, your DC's education is legally your responsibilty. As the law believes, quite rightly, that a parent should be the most interested person in their DC's education.

Teachers, however fabulous, cannot know your DC like you do. They cannot keep track like you can. They cannot care as much as you do.

Sure over anxious parents can be a little tiresome but give me them any day over those that don't care.

I agree, for my own situation. I am happy with the level they are at, and feel it is more important to learn social skills and a love of learning at early primary... they never get a chance to learn these skills again. If they are socially awkward now, to me it is likely they will always be socially awkward. If they don't know the tudors housing style they can learn that later.

There are plenty of adults that know heaps of stuff who aren't "successfull" because they don't have the social skills needed to work well in a workplace, cooperate, not take all the credit for a project etc. And there are lots of successfull, happy people who don't know stuff, but have such great people skills and insight into what people want that they have redesigned the mould and made their own job opportunites etc.

That said, reading and maths are a basic skill I would expect them to learn, so if I had concerns my child was not getting any teaching in these subjects I would be concerned.

If my child was special needs, or struggling, upset or generally not enjoying school I would be much more "pushy".