to insist DS2 wears a coat that he quite clearly hates?

[ceebeegeebies]

He is 3.2 and I bought him a lovely padded warm coat for winter - he has hated it since I bought it

Every morning, we go through the same old argument where he kicks off about wearing it, I tell him he has got to wear it, he refuses, I say 'well you can go out without a coat on then' and then he gives in and comes to the door asking me to put it on It is becoming very wearing to be honest.

I know he prefers another lighter jacket that he has but it is not warm enough for a day at nursery in the winter (as they go out and play quite a bit). I let him wear his favourite jacket at weekends and I have tried explaining to him that his big brother doesn't like wearing his school uniform/coat every day and would much prefer to wear something else but he has to - makes no difference.

All I want him to do is wear this coat for nursery - AIBU expecting my 3 year old to just put it on and quit whinging every day about it??

I'd say, 'listen up, mister, this is a coat/don't coat scenario,' and flap it.

Does he need a big coat in the car?
If it is very padded it can actually prevent the car seat straps from doing their job properly too, so bear in mind.

Take to nursery in his digger coat, take it home with you, bring it back when you collect him. Leave heavier coat at nursery all the time for playtimes. Everyone wins!

fast forward 9 years to when your ds is in secondary school. i have nightmares trying to get mine -12 yo- to wear a coat over his blazer.
if he wears it, with much muttering and mumbling- he'll 'accidently' leave it in his locker. he can have 3 at school sometimes.

on monday he had to wear his much hated black sweater because he'd left his coat and i wouldn't let him wear a green one.

excuse the rubbish typing. got guinea-piggie.

That's why I said I didn't mean to be harsh people. I know he's only 3.

The trouble is I work in a school in Safeguarding, and regularly have to deal with a woman who cannot cope with her 13 year old son's behaviour because she has let him do what he likes for the past 13 years, he can't see why he has to do what he is told now - making life very uncomfortable for her and us at school.

I am not at all suggesting the OP is doing this, but by saying "no - you do what I say" very clearly now at 3, you are setting a good routine for the future where your child respects your decision as final and you as a parent.

I know some parents will disagree with me. But this is AIBU and that's my opinion based on my own child, and what I have to deal with every day.

I'd let him wear the coat he likes.

But - I have children who don't seem to feel the cold, and when I have a massive coat hat and scarf and gloves on, they will happily walk to school in a jumper.
I leave a coat at school for the youngest so it is available for playtimes.

Having said that - it is what works for us. I pick my battles, and even at three my children knew if they were hot or cold.

This is interesting....... DS refuses to wear the padded coat that MIL bought for him. He will go into screaming meltdown if I so much as take it off the hanger. It's also a green one from Sainsbury's.

Why on earth do people make their children wear coats when they don't want to? Even a 3 year old knows whether he is hot or cold!

And I am very strict and have always insisted on some things. But whether or not to wear a coat should be a personal decision.

Siun screen, for example, is non negotiable. But a coat? Up to him.

Can he tell you whether there's something in particular wrong with the coat? For example, there is a material that i hate - it makes me feel sick just thinking about it. Ugh. It would be hell if someone made me wear a coat of it.

MildlyNarkyPuffin 'losing' items of clothing is exactly what my mother used to do. I rather liked my 'drunk crocodile screwing a log' and 'male rat humping a female rat caught in a trap' t-shirts but evidently she didn't.

Took me ages to realise they were gone.

If it's a really chunky puffa jacket try showing him pictures of hip hop stars wearing them, if he's at all fashion conscious.

seeker I thought this was about the child wanting to wear a particular coat, (his favourite). Not about wearing a coat or not?

If I've got it wrong OP then please accept my apologies.

Seeker I used to freeze my bits off when I was 12 because I was embarrassed to wear my sensible coat to school. It was more the stitched-in elastic with gloves sewn on the ends that bothered me, though.

People would tut if you let a 3 year old go out in the cold without a warm coat on.

So why shouldn't he wear his favourite coat?

And you are prepared to force your child to do something he doesn't want to do simply because people would "tut"?

Oh fgs - he is three - it's freezing out there, and you as an adult know what coat he needs to wear more than he does!

Put the coat on him and ignore the whinging completely. Every day.

Seeker - don't be bloody daft. How much of a soft touch are you?!

Other people have said it but he should definitely not be wearing a thick coat in the car; it's incredibly dangerous. In a crash the material would be flattened against the straps, potentially throwing your DS out of the seat because the straps were too loose.

So YABU for that.

My DS is nearly 2. He wears a fleece in the car and his coat stays in his nursery bag, to be taken out at nursery when he goes outside.

My youngest (4) hates coats (and most clothes actually) and he particularly hates his 'school' coat, a nice sensible, warm number.

I am sick of the battles. I found a decent parka (green canvassy type thing with a fur hood) in a charity shop and he adores it. Now we have the issue of him refusing to take it off.

I think its important that a child doesn't rule the roost, but on the other hand, picking your battles is also important. My children have always picked their own clothes (within reason) and I don't have a problem with it.

Could he not wear his nice weekend one with a fleece underneath?

I agree with Seeker unless its way below freezing or they're going to be outside for a while. I always carry coats with me. I don't always insist my children put them on for the 3946492347 time, as they're obviously not cold. When they are, they put their (preferred) coats on.

Unfortunately when I bought the school coat I was in 'sensible' mode. Never again.

Are there any labels in the coat that makes it itchy? Are the arms too constrictive? Is it simply too warm? When I picked up ds aged three today, I tried to put his hat on him and he took it off saying 'too hot'!

'They can't force children to wear coats either. '
Really? My DDs 6 and 10 go for holiday care at a nursery and they are all told to wear their coats when it's cold and that's an end to it!

Stick a fleece underneath the thin one.

Diabolo I used to think that too. Ds2 (2.2) has got like it with clothes when I'm getting him dressed in the mornings and I've decided to go with it. There's precious little else in his life he has control over.

I know its not the same but my ds who is 21 months hates his new stroller cries every time i put him in it because its new and he doesn't like change i brought it because he likes to get out and walk or get out and sit on a seat on the bus next to his daddy and i dont think im being unreasonable insisting he gets in the damn thing. YANBU because its for his own good

I choose which coat to wear in the morning. If I am bothered by the cold I choose a thicker one, if I want to wear one I like and am prepared to be a bit chilly I do that.
I am comfortable letting my children do the same.

There are other things which do matter and I am prepared to insist on. My children know when they can argue and when they have to do as I say.

When it's cold out there, nd they are 3, they'll bloody well wear the coat that I bought that is designed for the cold weather. What a hag I am! Pmsl!