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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to tape my birth certificate and passport to my head !?!?!

67 replies

thenwookieeme · 17/01/2012 23:51

I have a accent, as a lot of people do, I am from Barbados. I also happen to be white.

I am sort of use to the looks I get in the UK now.

But today was the icing on the cake.

I was informed that I have had a formal complaint made against me.

The person who made this complaint I met last week. He is/was a (new) client and we were meeting for the first time in my office.

Anyway when we started our meeting, he stops me and says that 'would you mind not talking like that'
I was shocked and said that I was sorry if my accent was too thick.
He looks at me but carries on.

Anyway this formal complaint is based on 'racist behaviour' and 'racial-stereotypying by use of accent mimmicing'

My managers and HR have told me not to worry at all.

But really?!?!

I am fed up of the looks I get
The questioning of where I am from
People asking me to talk 'normally'
and the classic 'you are really good at accents.'

So as of tomorrow my birth certificate and passport are being taped to my head, A Barbados flag will be sown to my coat and bag, I will hang the flag in my car.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 17/01/2012 23:57

Weird

I have 3 white cousins who moved here from Jamaica 2 and a half years ago (lived there since they were toddlers...all white with strong accents)

They don't get that problem...just people interested in where they're from.

MollieO · 18/01/2012 00:00

That's so odd. I've always thought the Bajan accent is really distinctive. Sounds like the new client is the one being racist!

I do think you must be a bit odd though to be living in cold and rainy UK when you come from such a beautiful place!

RevoltingPeasant · 18/01/2012 00:01

OP I have never had anything as bad as that but I was raised abroad and have quite an odd accent and I constantly get the 'where are you from?'. Apparently 'this country' is not good enough , people always want to know where I was born, raised, etc.

Was the client from Barbados himself or something - why did he think you were mimicking him??

Original poster

thenwookieeme · 18/01/2012 00:06

revolting well he had a south london - like accent. I have no idea but 'racial stereotyping' apparantly.

OP posts:

Rhinestone · 18/01/2012 00:10

RevoltingPeasant - er, I'm going to state the obvious and say that if you were 'raised abroad' as you say you were, then you're not actually 'from here'. And this will be obvious to people if you don't have a British accent. People are just being nice and showing an interest FFS.

OP, was the client black and therefore maybe thought you were taking the piss? Sounds a very odd complaint anyway, I wouldn't worry about it.

zipzap · 18/01/2012 00:12

No real experience of this but just wanted to post something so you got a reply.

Must be very frustrating for you :( and worrying if people are not capable of hearing that you are talking with your own accent rather they jump straight to the 'you're taking the mickey out of me' option.

I wonder if when he spoke to you and told you to 'not talk like that', if you'd said something in your reply along the lines of 'sorry, do you find my Barbadian (?) accent difficult to understand? It's funny but I didn't think it was that strong at home but now I am in the UK may be it is stronger than I realised' (even if it isn't) and deliberately mis-understand what was said to you in your reply so that you are effectively telling them you are from Barbados and that it is your accent.

Really shouldn't be necessary I know but I'm guessing there is a whole level of complication added in when you are dealing with a client rather than a colleague because you can't deal with them in the same way as you can a colleague, there's always a bit of 'the client is going to pay us lots of money hopefully so we need to be really nice to them' going on.

But at least your managers and HR are on your side and will hopefully be able to deal with it before it hits you - and make the client feel a bit embarrassed for being racist enough himself for assuming that your accent wasn't your own!

good luck and hope it all gets sorted with no problems

wanders off to google the Barbados flag because I'm not sure I would recognise it if I saw it without a label

zipzap · 18/01/2012 00:12

oops took too long to post so cross posted with everyone else

Original poster

thenwookieeme · 18/01/2012 00:13

yep, he was black 'Rhinestone*
I was stunned.

OP posts:

Rhinestone · 18/01/2012 00:16

I like the Bajan flag, is it the one with the trident on it? Love Barbados! Sun, palm trees, beautiful beaches, the idyllic Caribbean side, the dramatic Atlantic side!!

In the nicest possible way, why exactly are you here OP????!!!!

Rhinestone · 18/01/2012 00:18

I thought so from the 'racial stereotyping by mimicry' comment. He thought you were taking the piss out of him.

Easy one to rectify then, your manager needs to ring him and explain that you're Bajan and that's how you talk! And maybe suggest that he owes you rather a large apology.

Boomerwang · 18/01/2012 01:00

I don't think the client was being racist just because he assumed someone else was. He's obviously made a big mistake but I guess he thought he was doing the right thing by challenging what he thought was someone taking the piss.

bobbledunk · 18/01/2012 01:19

Next time you tell them you are from Barbados, this is your accent and make clear how rude and offensive they are being. I would also tell that client that you will no longer be dealing with him because he is a rude, presumptuous so and so and tell him that if you don't get a written apology you will be making a complaint of racial harassment against him.

Remember, bullies never go back for seconds against those who give them a stronger taste of their own medicine. Go after him, get this racist prick and hound him until he is afraid to make false accusations against anybody again.

Ignore everybody who tells you otherwise, idiots like this only exist because other idiots indulge them. Don't let him away with it.

Boomerwang · 18/01/2012 03:16

bobbledunk wouldn't that pose the risk of the OP being treated as a troublemaker who loses business? I think that could cause more harm in the long run.

sashh · 18/01/2012 05:10

He was being racist - assuming you ave to be black to have a certain accent. I had a (white) jamaican landlady, she had lost her accent but when her relatives visited a lot of people just couldn't 'get' a white person with a Jamaican accent.

mynewpassion · 18/01/2012 06:18

I don't think anyone was being racist just a huge misunderstanding. He thought you were mocking him with a Bajan accent because he was black. You thought he was not accepting of your accent because it was too strong.

I think if your boss cleared up the misunderstanding then the next time you guys meet again, you guys can laugh about it and maybe apologize for both of your misconceptions.

I think if the OP is experienced with the similar situation, she could just say, "Sorry, my accent is a bit strong as I was born/raised in Barbados."

LindyHemming · 18/01/2012 07:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OlaRapaceFru · 18/01/2012 07:11

How odd of him to even imagine that someone would talk to a new client in a 'racial-stereotypying by use of accent mimicking' way. I mean, surely he can't be that daft?

I hope that whoever he complained to in your company put him straight immediately by telling him that you're from Barbados. Also, I don't get why your managers/HR even told you about the formal complaint - after all, they know that you have a Bajan accent - so the 'complaint' should have been quashed without you even needing to know about it.

Acumenoop · 18/01/2012 07:19

I think that in this country people have sort of erased the existence of white West Indians so we can pretend that black West Indians got there all by themselves. It's a massive blind spot.

My creole granny was Dominican and, seriously, no one believes me.

JustHecate · 18/01/2012 07:30

When he asked you to stop, you apologised for your "accent being too thick"

But did you actually say "I am from barbados" Or even - "look, my skin may be white, but I was born and raised in barbados, please don't make assumptions about me."

If all you said was "sorry my accent is too thick" perhaps you weren't clear enough. You need to be very blunt.

Apols if you actually did say where you were born and raised.

Anyway, tell HR to contact him and tell him where you are from. I am sure he will feel very foolish indeed.

JambalayaCodfishPie · 18/01/2012 07:38

Dont contact him at all.

Let the complaint stand, be investigated, and then have the findings sent to him.

He will feel a total prat then.

SoupDragon · 18/01/2012 07:41

So you never explained that you were from Barbados? TBH, I think it's an honest mistake on the part of the client. If you'd laughed, apologised and said that this was actually your accent because you're from Barbados then this wouldn't have happened. It's quite likely this man has experienced people taking the piss by putting on a "black" accent on many many occasions.

zookeeper · 18/01/2012 07:51

I don't think the op should have to explain her racial origin to this man at all. It's none of his business.

mynewpassion · 18/01/2012 07:58

No its not his business but he thought she was mocking him with a Bajan accent because he was black. Of course she didn't know that until the complaint came in but she's also said that people, maybe including whites, have questioned her background.

She assumed that he had a problem with her accent.

This is a learning opportunity for the client and for the OP. Each made wrong assumptions about the other. As the old saying goes, assume makes an ass out of you and me.

zookeeper · 18/01/2012 07:59

I understand that but a simple "she was talking in her native accent" would suffice. Let him deduce from that what he will

EnjoyResponsibly · 18/01/2012 08:03

He's going to feel like a total prat when he realises he heard your voice.

Welcome to PC gone bonkers UK.

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