to tape my birth certificate and passport to my head !?!?!

[thenwookieeme]

I have a accent, as a lot of people do, I am from Barbados. I also happen to be white.

I am sort of use to the looks I get in the UK now.

But today was the icing on the cake.

I was informed that I have had a formal complaint made against me.

The person who made this complaint I met last week. He is/was a (new) client and we were meeting for the first time in my office.

Anyway when we started our meeting, he stops me and says that 'would you mind not talking like that'
I was shocked and said that I was sorry if my accent was too thick.
He looks at me but carries on.

Anyway this formal complaint is based on 'racist behaviour' and 'racial-stereotypying by use of accent mimmicing'

My managers and HR have told me not to worry at all.

But really?!?!

I am fed up of the looks I get
The questioning of where I am from
People asking me to talk 'normally'
and the classic 'you are really good at accents.'

So as of tomorrow my birth certificate and passport are being taped to my head, A Barbados flag will be sown to my coat and bag, I will hang the flag in my car.

What bobbledunk said.

"wrritten apology" "racial harassment" for an innocent mistake?? I think Bobbledunk's advice is ridiculously OTT

That guy is going to feel like bad enough when he realises he has been racist by making assumptions about you, but I can only think that he is probably reacting to previous instances of racist behaviour against him and feels he is doing the right thing to protect himself.

I hope he has the grace to apologise to you and that you can commiserate together about racism, assumptions and difficulties.

But she didn't say that. She said that "I am sorry if my accent was too thick." If she had said that "she was talking in her native accent", that would have resolved the problem.

The client could have tactfully asked her if that was her native accent too instead of jumping to the worse case scenario. Problem resolved.

Instead both of them made incorrect assumptions about the other's actions/thinking.

Now, the OP knows that he didn't have a problem with a lack of comprehension because of her accent. What he thought she was doing was a lot worse. He thought she was mocking him because he was black. Now, the client will know that she was not mocking him but this is her native accent.

People do have a hard time understanding regional accents but people rarely don't file formal complaints because of them. They make a formal complaint because they were offended or if they feel they have been wronged.

I am willing to bet that the OP was offended that he brought up her accent. I am willing to bet that she probably complained about him having a problem with her accent to her friends and family. She might have even mentioned it to her boss.

If she could, she would've liked to file a complaint about the client.

Instead, its all a huge misunderstanding based on false assumptions.

well, I was raised abroad and have a strong accent, and I understand you completely OP, you can't make conversation with anyone without the subject of your nationality or childhood coming up. I remember making a similar comment about taping my birth certificate on my forehead during a job interview.

And let's not kid ourselves, you have to live in the UK with a non-UK accent to really know what racism feels like. Funny how people are happier to converse/help/serve me once it's clarified I'm actually british, just raised abroad. Especially estate agents.

What a shame, this is such an awkward situation for you.

I hope its all sorted out to your satisfaction

The second part of her OP also mentions she's fed up with people questioning her accent. I suppose it can become rather tedious, but I think if someone does have a rather unusual accent then it's part of the territory that people will be curious.

Admittedly it could be deemed to be quite rude to openly comment/ask, so you can understand why she's a bit exasperated by it all and perhaps why she didn't bother to explain clearly enough so the client knew that she wasn't having a racist dig at him - although it's easy enough to see that they each misunderstood the other.

DP is British but was brought up on another continent for about 12 years; he has a, very slight, rather odd accent. I don't really notice it now, but if people don't know his family history it's quite surprising where they think he comes from/what kind of accent he has.

I think some posters just sit and wait to wheel out the phrase 'Pc gone mad'.

That is clearly not the case here, the man just had not come across any white Barbadians and probably come across people mocking him so jumped to an unfortunate conclusion.

What bobbledunk said. This man is extremly ignorant of his own ethnicity. I am White and a Mother of a mixed raced child - Jamaican heritage. I know there are White people born and bred in the Carribbean. This guy is a paranoid trouble maker.

The first time I came across someone with a Jamaican accent who was white, it did leave me a bit taken aback for a few seconds.

YANBU for feeling like that - but I do think a simple 'I was born and raised in Barbados' might save a lot of problems. Sucks, though.

It is crazy though. As if, in a professional context where trying to establish a relationship with a client you'd break out an accent based on appearance. I mean really????

Not sure what job the OP has but surely if you were the client your reaction might be one of bafflement whilst trying to place the accent, not immediately jumping on the racial stereotyping offensive.

Did he ask you were you were from when you said your accent is too thick? Surely he would have realised it may just be your accent when you said that? I take there was nobody else in the room? Why would he think you were taking the piss in a business meeting?! How very odd.

Next time, you say

I have a good friend from Jamaica (also white) and she has had similar "are you taking the piss?" reactions before. TBH OP, although it would have been very odd in this context for you to have actually been taking the piss, the client did just make a mistake and probably thought he was doing the right thing by saying something.

My friend, when questions, always specifically says: "Oh, I know my accent is a bit unusual - I am from Jamaica, so.... bit late to change my accent now!"

Weird, but probably an honest mistake and, TBH, maybe better just to explain straight away? I don't think its that bad to ask where people are from based on an unusual accent.

Wow! What a weird situation. It is incredibly odd that the client thought a professional person in a business situation would put on a fake accent. What on earth was he thinking! If I were you I'd be looking for a face-to-face apology from him.

I'm from Ireland so my accent isn't particularly unusual but I do feel self-conscious at times when people laugh at how I speak. I'm not trying to be funny and it's a bit off-putting when I'm making a serious point and someone repeats what I say and laughs at it. Funnily enough, children are usually polite about it - they'll ask me where I'm from, and tell me if they can't understand me. It's adults who give me funny looks and take the piss out of what I say. The first time I speak to someone I usually get a look of mild surprise, I suppose because I look fairly "posh" (in that I dress fairly smartly) but my accent is quite Father Ted and so I suppose they don't really match. I do get the impression sometimes that people think I'm putting it on, which annoys me hugely - why on earth would I do that? I've even had people correct how I say things, as though I'm getting it wrong. That sort of behaviour just comes across as childish and really really naive. Even seemingly intelligent people can out themselves as quite sheltered and unworldly in their reaction to "foreigners".

OP I think YAB a bit U I'm afraid.

It sounds as though you were fully aware at the time what the problem was and could easily have cleared it up with him there and then. You chose not to and he jumped to a wrong and paranoid conclusion.

I also don't get why you are bothered by people asking where you're from. You know that your accent on a white person is very unusual to most people. I'm sure I'd have asked you if we'd met because I'd be interested to know about you. It seems ridiculous to me that this could offend.

There was another thread on here recently which suggested it was racist to ask people where they're from originally if they have an accent. I just don't get that and I don't think I'm an ignorant person.

I get told I can't be Irish as I don't have an accent..............

I do just I don't sound like I'm from Father Ted (no offence CailinDana) because I?m from a different area of Ireland.
A lot of people seem to find it hard to get their head around the fact that there are several different accents in Ireland. We?re not one big interrelated homogeneous group, honest!

Anyway back to the OP he just sounds like an arse, but I don?t agree that you should have explained yourself more; you asked if your accent was too thick, he then had an opportunity to ask you about it. Leaving and then making a complaint was rude and underhand and says more about this person than they realise.

Flip the situation around and imagine a Black/Asian/Indian man/woman speaking in a RP accent would you accuse them of putting it on? Or would that seem very racist and rude? Same thing as far as I can see

Obviously an embarrassing situation all round but it does highlight a bigger issue.... i.e. that cod/fake jamaican accents are the speech-pattern of choice for young people who have never been within a thousand miles of the Caribbean and have no ethnic connection. I once sat opposite a gang of chatty white lads on a train to Luton whose 'Jamaican' accents were so thick and so artificial that it actually made your toes curl.... sounded like a very bad re-run of Jim Davidson's 'Chalky White' act circa 1980.

The misappropriation of the Jamaican/Caribbean accent is the problem, of course. And you don't have to have your credentials stapled to your forehead. Just understand the context... and maybe start a campaign to stop everyone else taking the piss.

Out of interest Catspee, where are you from? I've had some people think I'm American, which is very odd indeed :)

Flip the situation around and imagine a Black/Asian/Indian man/woman speaking in a RP accent would you accuse them of putting it on? Or would that seem very racist and rude? Same thing as far as I can see.

Exactly. Why should OP have to explain where she's from? She told him it was her accent, I see no reason why she should have go in to detail about it. If he was that bothered he could have asked politely where she's from, which I wouldn't see as rude. I would ask someone where they were from if I was interested and couldn't place their accent. If I go abroad, people often ask me where I'm from, sometimes assuming Irish or Scottish, because I'm from the Welsh Valleys. I don't see that as rude, but I would if they complained that I'd been putting on an accent to sound like Stacy
So what if her accent is unusual, there's no reason why anyone should assume she's putting it on because of the colour of her skin, that's out of order.

what muffino82 said.

I assume he's been told that you're from Barbados? He does indeed owe you a very large apology!

It's his problem, You shouldn't have to explain yourself.

Ooh, I went to Barbados for my honeymoon! Sorry, OP no advice to offer you but I would just love to go back there!

I've met some white Jamaicans - their accent did 'feel' weird to me at first, but that was only because of my OWN EXPECTATIONS re the accent.

Your client sounds a bit barking.

Re general comments on your accent though, it's not just because you are white/Bajan - I'm from NZ & I've lived in UK for 18 years. People comment on my accent daily. Get used to it.