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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he should tackle his snoring

39 replies

maddening · 17/01/2012 22:31

A few months before I got pregnant my oh came to my gran's 90th - got v drunk and that night snored like I have never heard anyone snore - he was heard down the corridor but so drunk/passed out that I couldn't wake him. The next day he had a sore nose and throat and since then his snoring had been just awful.

I had pregnancy insomnia but am now thinking his snoring made this worse. Ds was born and is not one for sttn and as I bf I have been up most nights and often have trouble getting back to sleep - again oh's snoring is a big factor here.

We have had a spell of co-sleeping as after I went back to worm ds was I'll a lot and also teething - so oh slept on the sofa a bit ( so he could get full nighrs sleep )- anyway oh is now back in our bed and I am being kept awake again.

the thing is he has a snoring mouthwash which has remained unopened for months and he refused to try another treatment as it was expensive - aibu to think he should be at least giving these a go? His snoring is really bad and v annoying! And it is keeping me awake when ds is already getting me up in the night - and although I am now redundant that I still need my sleep!

OP posts:
Stressymoo · 17/01/2012 22:46

I feel for your situation! I am an ENT nurse in RL and we have a huge amount of patients who come in to our clinic saying they need help with snoring (or 9times out of 10 it the partner that has sent them! As there the ones been kept awake!!)

Minus breathing nasal strips, elevated head sleeping position, nasal sprays and mouthwashes there is not mush that can be done.

There are surgeries that can be offered in some cases the one we offer has the huge name of Uvulopalatopharyngoplasty (UPPP)!!!! This is truly one of the most painful operations a person can have as the recovery pain is very intense also it is not 100% successful or can be but only for a short time

Best advice would be invest in some good ear plugs and kick his bum back to his GP for an ENT referral!

Good luck!

Oh this site has some good advice and is the one we recommend in clinic www.britishsnoring.co.uk

inchoccyheaven · 17/01/2012 23:18

I snore terribly ( according to DH!) and nothing I tried worked so we eventualy ended up with seperate bedrooms. Both of us gets a good night sleep and although it took a bit of getting used to it is definitely the best way for us.

My 9 yr old son also snores like an absolute trooper and I pity his school friends when he goes away on his residential trip later this year.

spenditwisely · 17/01/2012 23:23

I find my dp snores more when there's traffic noise. When we first moved in together I used to whistle loudly and that would stop him. Then I resorted to me pushing his head sharply to get him to change position. Now I sleep in the spare room. It's so nice to get a good night's sleep.

thementalist · 17/01/2012 23:28

My dp snores really badly, he had tried several things but nothing had worked and we were both having a terrible nights sleep. I couldn't sleep with the snoring and because I was constantly nudging, pushing, prodding and shouting at him, his sleep wasn't great either Blush

He got a mouth guard thing from eBay that you mould to the shape of your mouth and he's been silent ever since. It's honestly amazing and only cos a few pounds.

Original poster
maddening · 18/01/2012 05:19

in a 2 bed cottage so no spare room alas - might have to get a blow up mattress in ds's room - will def get him to try the mouthwash as we have it anyway and the mouth guard sounds like a plan - I know it's not his fault but at least he could try!

he also does this thing where he is trying to breath but it's like he can't and his body heaves to pull breath - and when he does it is with an almighty roar of a snore !

OP posts:
TroublesomeEx · 18/01/2012 05:44

I have one word for you OP.

Sofa.

Works for me!

whyme2 · 18/01/2012 06:10

Your dh needs to see his gp.

spenditwisely · 23/01/2012 00:27

Get dd a bunk bed or a new bed with a pull-out underneath. Tell her it's for when she has sleepovers. Blow up mattresses are not a long-term solution!

cidrenomore · 23/01/2012 00:40

agree with whyme2.
Sounds like possible sleep apnoea(sp?) with the huge pull in of breath.
My DH snores too(not as bad) and it's miserable!

totallypearshaped · 23/01/2012 00:49

Your dh needs to see his gp. I agree.

And so do you for your inability to get back to sleep. Have you anxiety?

Send your op to the spare room or sofa asap.

I eventually got my Dh to the spare room - best thing I ever did - he has visitation rights Wink but sleeping alone has been wonderful for our relationship - we are both well rested.

Original poster
maddening · 23/01/2012 05:36

I have started to suggest the go, dp needs working on to encourage cooperation or made to think it's his idea haha.

I think my issue with sleeping is it has been broken for so long and with ds still not sttn I have to get up alot - we have just had 3 mths of ds waking more frequently for teething, 2 tummy bugs, a series of colds, a chest infection, more.teething (4 molars) and a recent fever - but has been slightly better as due to all this we have fallen into co-sleeping and dp is on the sofa so although woken more frequently i have been able to get back to sleep - except tonight as have got a chest infection all of my very own and have been hacking away and tying to blow stuffy nose and high temp so having hard time dropping back off since 3am waking.....

OP posts:
Original poster
maddening · 23/01/2012 05:37

Gp not go!

OP posts:
hanaka88 · 23/01/2012 05:39

My DP snores, my DS wakes up and giggles, I nudge him, he moans, rolls over and stops snoring...for about 5 minutes

Original poster
maddening · 23/01/2012 06:08

But can you get back to sleep in 5 mins! :)

OP posts:
ZonkedOut · 23/01/2012 06:26

With that description, it sounds like it could be sleep apnoea. Please get him to see the GP to check it out, because if it is, it can be dangerous.

BagofHolly · 23/01/2012 07:37

I was nodding in sad agreement until your post about the catching his breath bit. That sounds VERY much like apnea and is really dangerous and he needs to see your GP about it now. The snoring is almost irrelevant next to that.

cockneydad · 23/01/2012 07:55

My wife used to struggle with my snoring - I eventually was diagnosed with severe sleep apnoea - the cardio technician was very interested in my sleep study data - apparently the only case she saw that was much worse than mine, resulted in death, so that was nice !! It really is worth getting checked for sleep apnoea, especially if DH is nodding off / sleepy during the day.

cockneydad · 23/01/2012 07:56

By the way, sleep apnoea is very treatable - I feel like a new man after getting mine under control :)

missmartha · 23/01/2012 07:58

Off to the GP , this is not healthy. Sleep apnoea is not healthy.

My DH has been fighting a battle with snoring and has had the operation mentioned upthread, with some, but limited success.

When he looses weight the snoring improves too.

Otherwise I sleep else where, I'm no martyr. Snoring can be a bugger.

aliciaflorrick · 23/01/2012 07:59

I feel your pain my DP has got worse with the snoring over the last couple of years and doesn't seem to want to do anything about it. One of us regularly ends up on the sofa these days as he wakes me and then the noise is so loud I can't get back to sleep.

He can be watching TV and fall asleep and the minute his eyes close he starts snoring.

The other night I had an awful nightmare that I was being chased by noisy zombies from the Walking Dead when I woke up in a panic the noise was DP's snoring.

I have had many a night of lying next to him having murderous fantasies to stop his snoring.

cockneydad · 23/01/2012 08:04

Alicia - the rapid nodding off - does that happen during the day ? If so, he really needs to see the GP - if you can persuade him to go !

stinkingbishop · 23/01/2012 08:14

My DM has an AWFUL problem with it...after her divorce she was a plucky single traveller but kept having to pay massive room upgrades because whenever they made her share with someone they'd demand the next morning she was moved. Apparently this was a surprise to her, despite my having told her for years! She went to a sleep clinic and now has this machine which is like something out of Star Wars but it works perfectly and it means she is allowed to stay here again!

Similarly DP, though that has a very VERY strong correlation with a) weight and b) alcohol intake. Healthy January has made a huge difference!

Not sure about the operation...my DB had it, pretty gruesome business, and he's not sure it's made a difference.

missmartha · 23/01/2012 08:23

Yes, I know several people who successfully wear those Darth Vader masks in bed. Not only they but their partners too get a proper nights sleep. The lack of oxygen caused through really bad snoring can cause all sorts of nasties.

My DH had the operation several years ago now and and was in hospital for about a week after.

My neighbour had the same procedure last year and was in and out the same day. Loads of painkillers of course.

aliciaflorrick · 23/01/2012 08:27

cockneydad the nodding off will happen about 5 minutes after he sits down to watch TV, he sits down, relaxes and falls asleep, starts snoring and then will deny that he was even asleep when we shout at him to wake up.

I know it's not just me, he travelled overnight on the ferry at Christmas with a friend and apparently the only person in the entire room to sleep was DP - he kept everyone else awake with his snoring, his friend said he's never going to go on an overnight crossing with DP again.

PigWhisperer · 23/01/2012 10:30

missmartha Did the operation your husband had work in the long term?