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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be mildly miffed? Be warned it's a wedding one! (But doesn't involve children)

34 replies

GeneralLeespeaking · 16/01/2012 16:06

A few years ago I set a friend up on a blind date with a friend of DHs - one of his best mates, who was best man at our wedding donkeys years ago.

Friend and DHs friend got on like a house on fire and moved in together, and are now getting married this year. Lovely news, I'm chuffed to bits for them.

BUT - and here's where I'm mildy miffed, no frothing or tantrums - we're not invited to the ceremony. The reason being it's a small registry office and family take up most of the seats.

Fair dos. Their wedding, family take precedence etc but I can't help but thinking if it weren't for me they wouldn't be getting married!!!

So AIBU to be slightly miffed that we haven't even been 'allocated' two of the seats in the registry office?

(I know it's no biggie and there's a limited number of seats etc, I've just been pondering on this today)

OP posts:
NigellaTufnel · 16/01/2012 16:09

Yabu.

Sorry but you have played a small, if crucial, part in their relationship but that is in the past.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 16/01/2012 16:09

YABU!

Shutupanddrive · 16/01/2012 16:09

Yabu

Gigondas · 16/01/2012 16:10

Yabu - did same for less close friend of dh. No way would I have expected to be invited.

pictish · 16/01/2012 16:10

Yabu.

ABigGirlDoneItAndRanAway · 16/01/2012 16:10

YABU, if they have chosen a small venue and limited it to family only that's their decision I'm afraid.

nenevomito · 16/01/2012 16:10

You're not unreasonable to feel slightly miffed, but you know yourself its no biggie if the registry office is small. Enjoy yourself at the Evening do :)

mosschops30 · 16/01/2012 16:11

YABU if its a small doo with just family, youre not family and therefore you wont be seated.

LoveInAColdClimate · 16/01/2012 16:13

YABU

petitdonkey · 16/01/2012 16:15

YANBU because of the way that you've posted this! You are mildly miffed and fully understand why you're not invited. I am often mildly miffed despite understanding that I shouldn't be!!

So, yes, if you were really cross and foaming at the mouth, I would say you were being unreasonable but its fine to be 'mildly miffed'.

(FWIW - I can't stand the girl that got DH and I together despite the fact that I'm mad about him and feel forever grateful towards her Grin )

reindeersledder · 16/01/2012 16:15

YABU. Very much so.

lazymonkeyface · 16/01/2012 16:15

A similar thing happened to me, only I was your friend.

We couldn't invite the guy who introduced us because it was a small wedding, 25 people there inc us. Only immediate family came and our friend was really upset. He's never spoken to me again. We really couldn't fit him in.

So, personal experience has made me think YAB a little U

NinkyNonker · 16/01/2012 16:18

My best friend married my ex, so I introduced them...I was a bridesmaid at their wedding! Incestuous world.

Anyhoo, yanbu to be disappointed, but Yabu to be cross.

Original poster
GeneralLeespeaking · 16/01/2012 16:25

Ah fair enough. I didn't assume we'd be invited but will acknowledge IABU to be miffed. I'm certainly not going to be silly about it and be like lazymonkeyface's friend, that really WOULD be unreasonable!

OP posts:
Tryharder · 16/01/2012 16:27

I actually don't think you are being unreasonable. You should have a special mention in the speeches as well!

RuleBritannia · 16/01/2012 16:28

Any wedding, whether it's in a church or register office is a public event. My DH and I went to a register office one, uninvited, just to see our friends being happy. We sat at the back. We were not invited to any eats afterwards and did not expect to be invited. There's nothing to stop you attending the wedding.

OnlyANinja · 16/01/2012 16:29

YANBU to be mildly miffed, but that is all you are allowed :o

Groovee · 16/01/2012 16:36

The couple who introduced me and dh took a huff that we wouldn't bow down and be more grateful to them for us being together.

Another friend said that we would have met anyway as we went to the same clubs every week so would bump into each other eventually

waterlego6064 · 16/01/2012 16:46

YANBU to be mildly or even moderately (but privately) miffed, I would be, despite understanding the reasons.

Original poster
GeneralLeespeaking · 16/01/2012 16:56

PMSL at 'bow down and be more grateful'.

I certainly don't expect that but will ignore them forevah if they don't name their firstborn after me... Wink

OP posts:
Sandalwood · 16/01/2012 17:12

YABU.
Things have moved on since you introduced them. You can let them go and get on with their relationship now.

Hassled · 16/01/2012 17:13

YABU but if it were me I know I'd have started exactly the same thread :o. I don't blame you for feeling a bit miffed, but also - what everyone else said.

Sandalwood · 16/01/2012 17:15

Rule Britannia, I think it would depend on the size of the venue. Places have fire regulations/capacity rules etc.
Our registry office has a room for 20 or a room for about 100 guests.

ABigGirlDoneItAndRanAway · 16/01/2012 17:16

Also would it not be a bit weird to be standing at the back like the spectre at the feast if all the available seats were allocated?

BarkisIsWillin · 16/01/2012 17:37

Is it just the ceremony you are not invited to or the whole wedding?