AIBU to be mildly miffed? Be warned it's a wedding one! (But doesn't involve children)

[GeneralLeespeaking]

A few years ago I set a friend up on a blind date with a friend of DHs - one of his best mates, who was best man at our wedding donkeys years ago.

Friend and DHs friend got on like a house on fire and moved in together, and are now getting married this year. Lovely news, I'm chuffed to bits for them.

BUT - and here's where I'm mildy miffed, no frothing or tantrums - we're not invited to the ceremony. The reason being it's a small registry office and family take up most of the seats.

Fair dos. Their wedding, family take precedence etc but I can't help but thinking if it weren't for me they wouldn't be getting married!!!

So AIBU to be slightly miffed that we haven't even been 'allocated' two of the seats in the registry office?

(I know it's no biggie and there's a limited number of seats etc, I've just been pondering on this today)

Heck no am not going to stand at the back and look messy!

Sandalwood they are good friends and the groom is one of DHs best mates so not sure what you mean by "let them go"??

I don't think you are BU. Its a shame they didn't include you.

Unfortunately when you organise weddings there will always be someone who will be disappointed about not getting an invite. You have to draw a line somewhere. Perhaps it's a case of they may have wanted you there, but if they invited you they would have to invite so-and-so, and so it goes on!

I'd still get them a nice card and pressie though

I mean: they've got their own thing going on. Their relationship is their own concern now. They met through you, but that doesn't mean you need allocating seats over family.

Your post was so reasonably worded that I feel a tad churlish saying that actually, YABU. If the register office is not big enough to accommodate everyone then it isn't uncommon to limit the ceremony to family. Otherwise the potential for offence all round is enormous. Starting with the umbrage that people will take at not qualifying for being good enough friends.

Our local register office has a beautiful, but very small wedding room. At the last two weddings I've attended there it's been on a "family only" invite with friends very much welcome at the do afterwards. Everyone, so far as I know, has understood why.

In this case while you did introduce the couple to each other and it'd have been nice to see them married, can you honestly, in your heart of hearts, say that you are such very best friends with them that you would be prioritised over family when space is limited?

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all to be slightly miffed given you introduced them & also that the groom was your best man & your DH is still close friends with him.

That said, not much you can do about it other than be happy for them.

Oh gotcha. No of course family take precedence but I suppose I hoped there might be a spare seat for me and DH instead of Great Aunty Mabel

I know IABU really, and I'm a sucker for a wedding

I don't think YABthatU, because you're not frothing or declaring that you'll cut them out of your life forever. I do wonder if the reason some couples invite Great Aunty Mabel instead of good friends is because they know their friends are decent, reasonable people who will understand, whereas Great Aunty Mabel will huff and sulk and begin feuding with other members of the family?

DP & I introduced my friend to an acquaintance of his a few years ago, and we were really, genuinely surprised (and touched) to be invited to their wedding and to be mentioned in the speeches. If we hadn't been invited I think I'd have felt a little sad to be missing their day, but happy for them (and a little smug that it was all down to us ).

We were introduced by a mutual friend, she wasguest of honour at our wedding and we did nameour first born after her

I can understand your disappointment but maybe they will make it up to you some other way (they may already have tickets for you to go on honeymoon with them!)