to be pissed at 'D'Bro for not including me?

[sethkillsyou]

My elder brother is having a book published - an academic one - the ones with the acknowledgement page as well as a dedication.

the acknowledgement pages is 2 pages long and like most mentions some collegues current and old and a few institutions that helped with research etc.
But it starts with thanking his partner and then goes on to thanking family then friends (then work people) and then editor and things.
In the family bit he mentions (in order) DSis, Dad and step-mum, Mum, 2 sets of grandparents then thanks our step-mums family.

I'm not mentioned anywhere - nothing. No mention of a second sister or my name.

I feel upset about it and actually am a bit angry.

AIBU to be a teeny bit pissed at him? (more than prepared to be told I am - and I do wonder if I am being - it is his first book and all and I should just be ful of pride for him not thinking about myself)

Did you make any contribution towards the work he has done? Did they?

You've either pissed him off big time (and you don't even know it) or he is sending you one hell of a message.

YADNBU

Did you help him though? It isn't the Oscars; he doesn't have to acknowledge his dog's groomer's best man's girlfriend.

Or is he the academic sort to have mistily forgotten that he has a sister? :)

A quick, 'Oi! I've read your book, very ncie, wher am I?!' would sort this out.

Two pages of acknowledgements - is anyone going to get as far as actually reading this bloody thing?!

But I think you are justified in being a bit ticked off, given he's listed everyone else in your immediate family group (I assume?) it must seem like he's missed you out on purpose?

I'd buy a copy of the book and write your name in to the acknowledgements section, then present him with it.

Obviously not so quick that you are unitelligible...

Are you friends?

My dad is an academic and regularly forgets my name. I am his only daughter and he only has two children

Do academics really do this? How ridiculously self-indulgent!

That said, I'd be cross and/or hurt if the world and his wife got a mention and i were specifically excluded: aren't you going to ask him?

Yep the people family wise that were mentioned (parents and DSis are the immediate family)
and no - they didn't help wth the book.

It depends if they helped with the research on the book. If they didnt they I would be very hurt too...do you have a close relationship with him??

Why did he thank all the people that he did thank? Did they do something you did not?

If you contributed in the same way as others who were mentioned, then just ask him! "Oy pig face, how come everyone else got a mention but not me"

Maybe he did mention you and the printers made a mistake.......wildly clutching at straws for you here!

I would just ask him about it. If you haven't had a falling out then you have most likely just been left out by mistake. It may not even have been your DB that did it but rather the publishing house.

ask your family to find out. why haven't they pointed this out to him?

Yes, I'd be upset if I were you as well. If he had had a short dedication then fair enough, but to mention a cast of thousands, but miss off one member of his family is crap.

Look on the bright side. Two pages of acknowledgements has to be the most up your own backside demonstration of a misplaced sense of self-importance I've ever heard off. Be thankfull that you're not associated with it.

I wouldnt worry too much, nobody reads those pages anyway!

Of course YANBU. But YAB eversoslightly U not to ask him. Having worked for more years than I care to remember with dozy twats esteemed academics, if there is nothing wrong between the two of you, my money is on the fact that he had a slip of the mind!

Maybe he feels closer to your sister than you?

Have you spoken to your parents? I would get them to ask.

With 2 pages of acknowledgements there's a high chance he'd forget someone. He probably sat there thinking "I know there's someone else...". He'll be very embarrassed when he realises.

However I can't see the point in thanking friends and family when they haven't done anything to be thanked for. Fair enough "my wife who coped with the stress of living with me..." But the number he's got smacks of just trying to remember everyone who might be upset (and obviously he's failed in that.)

"And finally I'd like to thank my sister who taught me the value of gravity (and subsequently the medical profession) when she dropped me, age 1 month, down the stairs". Gives people a chuckle, who bother to read it, but I don't think it's really a grateful statement and actually pretty meaningless.

I doubt it's the publishing house. They're not going to care one word here or there, and they'd expect it typed out for them, so they wouldn't have anything to do with it. Could be his secretary if she did it?

ARe you the youngest?

My sis, youngest of 5, is still treated as daft little sis and not included in family decisions/discussions because other siblings (male) think wee sis too 'young' to have sensible contribution to make.

We are in our 50s and 60s now!!! but the family dynamics continue. Maybe your brother thinks that way of you, it's not that he doesn't care for you, just that you are stuck in a childish mindset of his.

(I include my sis and treat her as adult bythe way)

Tell him how terribly hurt you are. It is despicable but the sort of thing a thoughtless brother might do imo.

Yes josie I am the youngest and he is the oldest.

It only came in post today.

I would also be very hurt, but like someone else said, if it's more than 3 words long, no-one is going to read it.