aibu to be scared shitless about being in hospital?

[coodymow]

I had a chest infection which has now developed into pneumonia, i was admitted into hospital on wed night. Since I've been here ive been placed in a ward full of older people who are suffering from dementia aswell as chest problems. Its freaking me the fuck out, they wont let me go home as the oxygen levels in my blood are too low. They cant understand why and now in thinking all manner of horrible things tgat maybe preventing me from getting better. Ive been for a cry in the toilet like the bloody coward i am, but i cant help it, i feel like the walls are closing in on me, all around me i see very ill old people who dont even know that they are in hospital or who ask me my name ten million tines a day. Im just freaking out and very scared and cant stop myself thinking the worst.

You poor thing, it sounds miserable. You do need to try and keep your anxiety under control though (easier said than done). This is just temporary until you're well enough to be discharged. Are you having any visitors? Can you get some distraction (music/books/etc) to help you pass the time?

YANBU, its horrible, isn't it.

Be the squeaky wheel - just keep bugging everyone until they get a consultant to spend some time on your diagnosis. Ask every nurse that passes what's going on. Hope you're feeling better soon.

Stop thinking the worst! The doctors have picked up on a problem and are presumably treating you accordingly. They can't do that if you're at home, can they? :)

By best friend's DH was in hospital before christmas and was placed on a ward full of elderly patients and it freaked him out too, especially since one had to be rescuscitated during the night :( Can understand why that might make you feel weird, but try not to let it. Do you have any books/magazines to take your mind off things? An iPod? Visitors coming?

Hope you feel better soon!

p.s Pneumonia is only really dangeous in old people. You should be fine.

Ah, yes - hospital. Surely the worst place to be if you're ill. Surrounded by ill people who get on your tits nerves, innovative menu ideas and endless noise. Deep sympathy, it is hideous. It just is. Are you sleeping enough? Ear plugs might help, also eye mask. Bupcakes is right; they are giving you top treatment, so do whatever gets you through the next few days til you get out.

How about being nice and supportive to the older people in your ward instead of talking about them as if they are freaks of nature.
They are probably just as scared and freaked out as you and might appreciate some kindness.
Sorry you are feeling like shit but you are in a hospital and receiving treatment.

Plug yourself into the radio or telly and just concetrate on getting better.

Mishtake, it can be unnerving being put into a ward with dementia patients, actually. And I say that as someone who knows (my grandfather had dementia)

Low sats after pneumonia are normal, DS needed oxygen for a week when he had a relatively mild dose of it so I wouldn't worry to much on that front.

Make sure you talk to the staff about how your feeling, its something they are used to and may be able to help you.

I was in a ward with 3 80 year old ladies when I had emergency surgery. It had it's moments but they were mostly fine. Just keep your curtains closed and rest.

Bupcakes -
Thanks for that. But as a cancer patient I spend shitloads of time in hospitals and we have enough dementia and alzheimers in my family to know all about the challenging behaviour.

BUT - I am sick to death of casual unkindness and rudeness about older people.
It is the one area in life where people feel they can be abusive.
They are old and sick and in hospital. Have a bit of compassion and kindness. They are someone's gran or mum - one day it could be you.

If they were sick children getting on the OP's nerves everyone would be outraged that she was "freaked out" by them.

I work with older people, but would find it very challenging to be in close contact with some of my service users if I was feeling frightened, ill and in need of a bit of TLC myself. YANBU, OP, What you need is a good talk with the consultatn in charge of your care about what is going on and the possibility of moving you to an environment where you would recover more quickly.

poor you XXXXXX try and rest, get better and get home. Its a scary environment, but happens to the best of us. I remeber a sleepless night next to a 4am incontinent old lady, was so sad and horrible xxxxx

Do you think this anxiety of yours is delaying your improvement?

Regardless of whether you are being reasonable, you should put yourself first, in my opinion. I also have experience with dementia sufferers and it might not be so simple to connect with one or two, although if you managed it you may find your fears disappearing.

Remember, they are someone's mother or sister or father etc and it's likely they are very much more freaked out than you are.

If your anxiety is getting out of control, however, you need to speak to someone about the possibility of getting a private room if one is available.

Mishtake, I'm really sorry to hear of your illness and that you're in hospital a lot of the time. I hope you are getting good treatment and recover well. :)

However, whilst I do agree that ageism is worryingly acceptable a lot of the time i.e it goes unchallenged, I don't think that ageism is at play here. A lot of older people, especially sick ones can be challenging/demanding and I imagine that when you're trying to recover in hospital, not conducive to a peaceful environment. Same as having children being energetic and running about the ward wouldn't be.

Wow! Mishtake: thanks for making me feel a million times worse, how about taking some of your own advice and showing some bloody compassion instead of purposely misunderstanding me, how an earth you accuse me of being abusive from my op is beyond me. I have not been unkind about the older people on my ward, i talk to them all day every day i have no choice as most of the time they have forgotton what they asked me or what i answered with by the time i finish answering it. But does it freak me out? Yes because im ill, away from my dh and my dd who i havent seen in 4 days ( the longest i've ever been away from her) , stuck on a ward with v ill people not knowing when i will be allowed home.

coodymow did you get anything useful from the replies so far? Only I see that you found one you didn't like but didn't mention the others.

Thanks everyone, i think my anxiety is making me feel low ans adfing to the feelings of fear etc. I dont think a side room or private room is an option as they are normally gor folk much more poorly than i am. I know i need to snap out of it, but i keep thinking the worst because apart fron having my daughter ( which in itself was a traunatic labour/birth, then being readmitted when she was a few days old because of infection and eventualky being allowed home 2 weeks later) I've never been in hospital.

@boonerwang, yes, apart from sucking it up and not being (too much of) a baby, im going to have to get,a coupke of books i been meaning to read. I cant really close my curtains on the ithet patients as this seems to aggitate them and upset them and they start shouting. There is no tv in the ward or a tv room, so i'm just going to find ways of kerping my mind occupied. Thank you again for your replies.

May I suggest sudoku? I'm addicted to it :(

btw, my comment on people getting on your nerves refers to anybody when you're ill; imo you need to be left in peace

Do you have an iPod you could put on to try to block out sounds?

Hospitals are shocking places if you are not used to them. I know that from my first day nursing - I was traumatised and I wasn't even ill! Illness and death are not things we tend to come into contact with in ordinary life and the sort of patients with dementia etc., you are surrounded by, are usually out of sight, out of mind. You must be scared for yourself too, quite naturally.

I agree about distraction techniques - TV, earplugs, music, magazines...anything to absorb you for a while. And perhaps you could get an idea of the plan for your care from the consultant so you have an end in sight.

Some older people can make hospital stays much more difficult because they don't understand what's going on, how does this affect others well how about the screaming and crying all night for a start?

Op don't feel like a coward because you were crying in tge toilet, it's tge only private place there is for you to do so and you need to let it out.

Totally agree with mishtake though. When we see old people in such a state, we are only seeing our - quite likely - future. That is at the heart of the trauma sometimes. Be glad you will probably walk out and be back to normal soon!

I know that you are ill but, if you are thinking about what you could do with your time, what about holding a hand here and there or helping to feed someone who can't do it himself / herself or going round once an hour offering a drink of water from the bedside trolley? A friendly face can work miracles. And I doubt that they all have Alzheimer's.

Surely OP wouldn't be in hospital herself if she was up to working as a healthcare assistant! The poor woman has pneumonia!