to be severely cheesed off this morning?

[AKMD]

This is a minor AIBU but...

DH went to bed at 8pm last night without a word to me. This morning his alarm went off in another room at 5.30, which woke me up but not him so I woke him up and went back to sleep. At 6am the front door slams, waking up DS (1yo). At 6.05 the door opens and then slams again. I look out of the window and DH is driving off! I called him to ask where he was going and it turns out he was off the the gym and then to work.

AIBU to think it's not ok to:

• go to bed unusually early without saying goodnight to your spouse
• set your alarm in another room, knowing that it won't wake you up (this has happened before and we've had word, obviously forgotten)
• wake everyone up an hour early
• leave the house an hour early without telling your spouse about it first, leaving them to take out the bins, get themselves ready for work and get an angry toddler ready for nursery?

coz I is cross!

When someone comes on here and posts a thread asking for opinions, they get them - based on the information they give us.

You want to come on here and call us 'bullies' and moody and suggest that we spend our days moaning? Because your wife chose to start a thread and ask for our views? Because we read the OP and gave opinions based on the information given in it?

According to the OP, you
went to bed without a word and buggered off in the morning - earlier than you normally leave - without a word of goodbye or saying why you were heading off so early.

So we were asked what we thought. And we said what we thought.

That doesn't make us bullies, moody mums or people who spend all our time complaining about our husbands.

Oh my gosh. Is this for real? Do some marrried couples communicate via mumsnet??? Oddest thing I have ever seen..... even weirder than couples that post to eachother on facebook (which has always make me puke (and wonder whether they actually talk.... novel idea, huh) - so much so I no longer have fb ).

Sometimes you can't win can ya?

Note to self-refresh before posting

Sorry akmd, but this has brightened my morning :)

well done husband. I think the OP sounds a right moody mare - probably the PMT you mentioned :)

Yes, I can confirm that that is indeed my DH. We do not communciate via MN but I have laughed so much that I think we should try it more often :o

DH, don't be rude to the MNers.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

You can be rude to Camberwick though

She says....

DH went to bed at 8pm last night without a word to me.

He says...

"i fell asleep on the couch whilst reading. You saw this because woke me up and said "we do have a bed".

Sounds like it was fairly obvious where he was going, and there was no need for him to tell you... he had been sent to bed by you!

Oooh lovely, a marital tiff unfolding before our very eyes. Is this a MN first?

AKMD8DH

It sounds as though, from your point of view, you do try hard to be a good husband. Deicing your's wife's car was very thoughtful, perhaps if she had noticed this she would not have felt so cross about the other things. There are however more things that you can learn from this.

Always say goodnight to your wife.

If you want to go early to the gym try not to wake everyone in the process, you may think you are being quiet, - you are not, you are noisy and it's annoying to be woken an hour before necessary.

If you haven't mentioned your early morning visit to the gym then leave a note, a note goes a long way.

And to answer your questions:-

PMT - accepting it's presence is the first step, it's real.

Tantrums - listen first and then definitely the naughty step.

Pizza is only really healthy once a fortnight and doesn't count as 'cooking the dinner'

You emailed the link to your DH? Blimey!
TALK TO HIM!

clearly yabu.

Gosh, this is akin to couples who communicate with each other via Facebook!

OP, when I read your posts I was going to Firstly ask if this was normal behaviour for him - I would assume not given that you were pissed off enough to post. And secondly I was going to suggest that you just ask him if there was anything wrong. My DH used to get so annoyed with me for being cross with him if he was tired/not well, etc. I guess the point is that all of us can be so tired that at times it is all we can do to drag ourselves to bed.

OP's DH, can you please explain to me why, in Pizza Hut the other day, it said pizzas are only 160 calories? Is that per mouthful? Oh and well done for de-icing your wife's car. I hate having to do that!

Oh, dear! I loved my DH very much and I know he loved me. One thing we never did was to go to bed without making up if we'd had a tiff. We always made up after our very few tiffs. We just could not go to bed together without making up.

I'm hoping this is a spoof. If it is, it's quite funny.

If it's for real though...

IME men who are discussing a disagreement with their partner and in the same argument refer to PMT, grown women tantruming (quite often doublespeak for not being a doormat) and say things like all men are a little inconsiderate (because they are men???), are the sort of men who believe in the whole battle of the sexes nonsense (aka as sexism, however benign it may seem to be). However, much they may say they believe in equality, and even subscribe to it at places of employment, it doesn't seem to apply as much on the domestic front. Driving off to go to the gym and just assuming that the wife will take care of the toddler proves this. The toddler is the responsibility of both parents, as are the bins.

But I still hope this is a spoof.

Fantastic. I think the AKMD's have handled this very well. Thank you for making me laugh.

YABU for making me spit tea on my iPad though.

Have some people had a total sense of humour bypass? I'm pretty sure the AKMD's also talk. Sheesh!

Yes we talk. I was venting and emailed the link to him because I was cross and he didn't understand why.

I might have noticed him de-icing the car had he not done it 2 hours before I was due to leave for work, thereby leaving ample time for it to frost over again...

I think the DH is quite funny actually! At least he's taken it on the chin and responded in a well thought out way

We're not all moaners you know. We just use this place to vent - if we didn't, most of you DH/DP/OH's would be lying on the sofa with a fork in your eye.... so count your blessings

"IME men who are discussing a disagreement with their partner and in the same argument refer to PMT, grown women tantruming (quite often doublespeak for not being a doormat) and say things like all men are a little inconsiderate (because they are men???), are the sort of men who believe in the whole battle of the sexes nonsense (aka as sexism, however benign it may seem to be). However, much they may say they believe in equality, and even subscribe to it at places of employment, it doesn't seem to apply as much on the domestic front. Driving off to go to the gym and just assuming that the wife will take care of the toddler proves this. The toddler is the responsibility of both parents, as are the bins."

This

OP YADNBU

I sincerely hope that your DH isn't the patronising git he's come across as on his post.

You've done that woman thing, AKMD. Told him to go to bed and then not like when he did. I do that shit sometimes too. The other night, I told DP that I was going to bed for an early night - and when he didn't follow me, I had a go. Ridiculous!

AKMD8DH you were wondering where AKMD found the tim to post this thread- she had the time because you woke her up so early! I don't know if that makes you unreasonable or not