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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Thinking about relocating - AIBU?

58 replies

northcountrygirl · 15/01/2012 23:38

Have 3 children. Eldest 2 are twins (boy and girl) and just about to transfer to high school. It's the "best" high school in my town. Youngest DD is just about to start primary. Again (if we get in - which we probably will) it's a really good school - 3rd highest on league tables. Good ofsted report etc.

Problem is - my town is an absolute shit hole. It really is. No nice way of saying this. I went into town today with the girls and I couldn't believe how bad it's got - loads of pound shops. a "brighthouse", pay day loan shops, ambulance chaser solicitors etc etc. I've looked at the predictions for the town and it's not going to get any better.

At the moment we live in what is considered the best postcode in the town. But we are a "pocket" surrounded by deprived areas in a bloody horrible town. The plan was always to move out of the area but we were originally going to wait until the children had finished their education. I'm now rethinking that. I just don't feel that I want to give my 11 year olds the freedom that I had - because of the area I live in. I know a lot of their friends go to town on their own, and go to the cinema etc on their own but I just don't think the area we live in is safe enough.

I've been looking at houses in areas that I want to live. We would have to downsize considerably, but I really feel it would be worth it to live in a "nice" neighbourhood. We could afford to make this move now - albeit that the children would have to accept smaller bedrooms.

Should I do it now? Or wait until they have left school? (Children are DD1 -11, DS1 -11 and DD2 4).

What would others do?

OP posts:
TheresASpareChairOverThere · 17/01/2012 21:03

Yes the choir! I feel like Sherlock Wink!

Weirdly, we looked at Hudds a few years back, then plans changed. I bet we'd have liked your house!

northcountrygirl · 17/01/2012 21:09

Bloody hell! So much for me trying to be vague...

My house is lovely - finally got it how we want it and the town goes to shit whilst I wasn't looking Smile or was looking through rose tinted glasses 'cos all my friends are here.

OP posts:
AllPastYears · 17/01/2012 21:12

If the older kids are 11 and about to move to high school that's a great time to move - they'll be changing schools anyway and it's a great time for a new start. I certainly wouldn't prioritise keeping my kids' friends over a move for a better life - lots of kids swap friendships anyway when they start high school. I no longer see anyone I knew at primary school - do you?

If you wait till the kids have left school only you will get the benefit of the move, not they. And if you wait two or three years you may feel you have to stay till the older ones have finished high school.

skybluepearl · 17/01/2012 21:15

I would move too. I've lived close to both H and Y.

northcountrygirl · 17/01/2012 21:19

That's the thing - it's either now or in 7 years time or in 14 years time.

No I don't see anyone I was in primary with. BUT my son's Dad does - his best friends are the one's he was at school with and my son is certainly a chip off the old block.

TBH - I think MY mind is made up. My sister (who lives round the corner) is also of the same mind and she's wanting us to move together. I just need to convince OH that we cannot have a house of this size (plus the extra land he's wanting for gods sake!) in a better area.

And as I've said before although I DO like some of my son's friends (ie the ones I've chosen for him) some of them are actually bloody horrible. With very questionable views towards women.

OP posts:
Rhubarbgarden · 17/01/2012 22:55

Move. I know what it's like to be depressed by your local high street. It grinds you down, knowing you could be living somewhere pleasanter. Do it.

MummytoKatie · 17/01/2012 23:19

I live in York and it is a lovely city. I always describe it as a city / town as it has the facilities of a city but feels nice and friendly like a town. I live about 2 miles out of town and although I try not to walk home alone at night (generally cycle everywhere) I have done and not felt at risk.

One thing to be aware of with York is that there are nice bits and less nice bits and you can go from nice to not nice very quickly. Also the are some schools that everyone wants to get their kids into and the house prices in those catchment areas are pretty shocking.

northcountrygirl · 17/01/2012 23:38

Is fulford a good area? For high schools and to live?

OP posts:
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