to not answer the door when im bf, despite caller peering in through the window?

[familyfun]

our sitting room is on the front of the house so when i sit bf im in view of the window which is screened from the path by our garden.

several people knock the door and then obviously see me sitting there (probably cant see dd) so come and bang on the window and peer in.
meter reader, vicar, salesman, mil and my parents have all done it this week.
tbh if i dont answer the door its cos i dont want to and i certainly dont want people peering in at me. why should i stop feeding dd who is normally feeding to sleep and she only naps once a day, to answer the door when im not expecting anyone and dont want to.
parents have a key so could let themselves in which is fine, better than peering at me and banging the window. aaagh.

This is where you need net curtains. Not everyone likes them, but they are an absolute blessing for windows that face the front. Lets all the light in but stops anyone seeing inside.

That "frosty glass" style plastic coating for the windows might help (nicer than net curtains I think) .. or could you put up a very small fence by the path, to gently put out the message that walking over your garden past your window is not on? YANBU, this would drive me crazy too. We used to get all the deliveries for everyone in the house just because we were the bottom flat, and the upstairs tenants never marked which flat on their incredible numbers of packages. I'd often ignore the door when feeding.

Frosty glass coating is great, we have it on our front window. I couldn't be doing with nets or curtains all the time.

I think it is very rude to peer in someone else's window, if someone were visible then presumably they could hear the bell, meaning they would open if they wanted to. I certainly wouldn't feel I had to hide away in my own home to feed, with DD I'd have spent half my life hidden away!

Tell friends/vicar/in-laws to please phone first before visiting as it is often inconvenient to have an unannounced visit when you have small children (and even if you don't). I hate it when people just drop in, I'm a busy person and have a lot to fit in, so like to arrange friends and family visits for when I have time to stop and chat and drink tea. if they call in without checking first I'm likely to be doing something that I've timed to fit in with the school run or a sleeping baby, and don't want to stop. Salesmen, well, who cares what they think, just give them a fuck off gesture and they'll go!

YANBU. I closed the curtains when breast feeding to stop any persistant callers, including inlaws!

Net curtains!

There is no need to stoop to nets.

It must be very annoying, I would just ignore them or mouth 'I am busy'

I am lucky in that my sitting room faces the back, but several times I have been in the kitchen and some clipboard chap has knocked on the front door, then seen me in the kitchen window and looked at me expectantly. I just wave and walk off into the sitting room. There are loads of chuggers/kleeneze types my way, I am not answering the door to them.

I opted for net curtains as I got sick of people walking past and peering in. I worked shifts too so was often in my dressing gown in the afternoons. I live in Holland and couldn't even buy nets here! I had to get my aunt to post some over. :) If ever you're in Holland, I live in the house with the net curtains. Drop by for coffee only I won't answer the door either and you won't be able to peer in -ha!

I've got one way mirror film on my sitting room windows. S'brill: no one can see in but you can see out as normal. I can't bear nets.

OP YANBU It's extremely rude to peer into someone's window.

My neighbour's house is at a 90 degree angle to mine and out front gardens join. Consequently, anyone in her garden can see into my front room, so as soon as I could afford to I had blinds put in to prevent this. It's not my living room but still I don't like people being able to just look in, it's an invasion of my privacy.

Worra, I would give my mum a key but not necessarily my mil. It's a different relationship and while I'd be okay with my mum letting herself in while I was bf, I'd feel a bit exposed if it was my Il's.

Why not get one of those signs that says "no tradesmen, metre readers," etc?

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/No-Sales-Person-Cold-Callers-Canvassers-Door-Window-Sign-Sucker-NEW-/260842110967?pt=UK_Home_Garden_Decorative_Accents_LE&hash=item3cbb66bff7#ht_499wt_1185 A window sticker, so you could stick it right where they look in!

couldnt sit with curtains shut, its depressing.
will have to invest in a blind or voile.
im going to ask parents and ils not to peer in as its embarassing being gawped at and ignore the rest.

Put a note on the door. Every single time.

I used one for well over a year and even though DS is nearly three, I'd still use one now. I wish I'd thought of a note on the door years ago, before we even had him. Sometimes I'd leave the same note on the door for days if I felt especially unsociable.

Mine usually said "Do not knock or disturb, new mum and/or baby are sleeping" and then it was god help anyone who ignored it unless it was a dire emergency.

Mine was mostly to put of my in-laws, who were stalking me, the RSPCA, who were also stalking me on a weekly basis for a direct debit donation, the postman, who knew I was at home and wanted to use me as a parcel depot for the rest of the street to collect from, and my BIL, who wanted to borrow money.

You could change it to "baby is breastfeeding" because you will still get people knocking and saying "But I could see you both, you weren't asleep!"

And tell everyone else to phone before they call, that way you can tell them if it is convenient or not.

I close my curtains when i know I'm not in the mood for visitors.

WTH, why on earth should she have to put nets up or anything else for that matter??
Its her house, she can feed her baby anywhere she likes..
I also think its bloody rude to go peering in peoples windows, simply because the door wasnt opened..

ils think if you are in you want a visit, i have told them i go out a lot which i do and when im in im fitting in lunch a feed jobs and then collect dd1 from school, but when they do phone they dont say are you available for a visit, they say oh you are in then we will be round in 15 mins, if i say im going out or just about to feed dd2 to sleep and have jobs to do they say oh you would be and make me feel guilty.
im def going to ignore postman, meter readers, cold callers even if they can see me but may just flash at the next family member to peer , i bet they never peer again

Tell family/friends to warn you in advance when they are coming over, explain that you don't like to interrupt the baby feeding and won't be able to come to the door if they arrive unannounced while she's latched on.

Then ignore them if/when they ignore your clearly stated wishes

I don't know what people are thinking when they go peering in and banging on windows, how rude! I wouldn't dream of doing that.

If they ring/knock and there's no answer - the obvious conclusion is that either you're not home, or you're not available to come to the door at that moment. Either way I don't know what they hope to achieve

heh. I had an undergrad student trying to wrench my door off today while I was expressing....

Am slightly startled at the number of people around here who think that once they have knocked they can just open my door and pile on in.....surely thats not normal?

doesnt work coz I lock my door (mostly ), but still.

Acumenoop do they work if the lights are on inside and it's dark out?
I love having my kitchen curtains open but hate the thought of the neighbours watching me wander round in the evening.

Octo, sadly they don't work at night with the lights on, afaik. You have to get the frosted ones for that. But then you can't see out! I like the clear window to see out of.

(bumf explaining effect)

I have this problem too (not the BF!) but our front room window is next to the front door and the amount of people who wander up staring is v annoying.

The worst is when it's a bit dark inside and they are scrunching their eyes (and thus gurning) to see in - ugh.

Am tempted to put a v small sticker at eye height saying "it's rude to peep in the window" which only the nosy peepers would see!!

I don't like nets or see why I ought to sacrifice light in my room because people are rude!

You can get those blinds that pull up from the windowsill though, or maybe those shutters that are in two halves, so you can shut the bottom part for privacy and keep the top part open to let the light it.

Perhaps use plants or pots or garden ornaments to make it difficult for them to get from the door to the window.

Get a proper sign made for the wall, one that says "If you can see me in the living room but I didn't come to the door, that means I heard you knock and chose not to answer, so go away!" or something. I might get that for my wall actually

I agree with anewyear that you shouldn't have to do any of this as they should just be polite enough to telephone you first and not peer in through the window.

But the other way to look at it is that you can't control random cold callers or nosy relatives if they won't listen to you or take the hint, but you can control what you do to prevent them from being able to do it.

It's hurting nobody but yourself to suffer through it without doing anything proactive to prevent it. So although you shouldn't have to make a sign or put up curtains or build a barricade, you are the person who will benefit most from having one and if it a little effort and a change to your window or garden will help you, then it's all to the good.