to think phone calls are an arrogant, intrusive form of communication?

[oranges]

You decide you want to talk to someone, so pick up the phone, dial and basically insist that they talk to you RIGHT NOW whatever they may be doing. Yes, there is voicemail, but if someone knows you are home, its hard to not pick up. I much prefer emails, texts, even people ringing the doorbell.

My eldest son pisses me off

When you ring his phone, you hear "Yeah hello?"

Then you start talking and you hear..."Haha joke, I'm busy at the moment, please leave a message after the tone"

I don't answer the phone/door if I don't feel like it (unless of course it is the DS's childcare or DH's number).

We don't use the home phone at all, if it rings it is a telemarketer.

YABU. You don't have to answer the phone if you're busy and it's quite acceptable if you do answer to say "I'm busy, can I call you back?"

I had no idea there were so many people out there who don't like the phone, I have never heard anyone say this in RL. It is just so much a normal thing to do as far as I am concerned.

YABU. It's good to talk to people. It's quicker and more friendly to phone than emailing someone. You don't have to pick up the phone.

So don't answer it then! You're not obliged to.

I like phone calls. I miss them.
All this text and email bollocks is not the same.

Maybe it is an age thing.
I used to walk miles in the peeing rain to a pay phone as a kid to talk to my mates/boyfriends. Standing in some stinky phone box, sucking down a sneaky ciggie, doodling someone's name in the condensation on the windows. Saying "oh oh gotta go there are the pips ...."
Ahhhh happy days.
Phone calls are lovely. Personal. Intimate.

I am sad that we now have a generation of people who think friendship is solely down to the number of "likes" you get on Facewank.

YANBU, I find it an arrogant form of communication too. Not so much in my own home, very few people ever call me on my landline and they are usually old my parents, so that's fine. But I absolutely cannot stand it when I'm queuing at the doctors/hairdressers/Chinese takeaway and people ringing up take priority over people who have made the effort to physically be there in person, and I get interrupted so the telephone callers can have their request attended to immediately. It. Drives. Me. Fucking. Nuts. Am always tempted to get my mobile out and phone them from the bloody queue and save myself the hassle of waiting.

I really dislike using the phone at work as well. I would rather email in the first instance and only call if the emails aren't eliciting a response. I would much rather receive an email, too - the information is there to refer back to and to disseminate in my own time. I tend to forget what I've been told the moment I replace the receiver.

Excellent post mishtake

Ditto BackforGood. I find other forms of communication too impersonal and a bit cold. I think it is an age thing. All my friends and family are over 40, live miles away or are elderly and live on their own and need to hear a friendly voice.

I hope my daughter doesn't grow up to be as insular as many of the posters on here. I prefer to talk to my friends and family in real life not virtual life.

*I had no idea there were so many people out there who don't like the phone, I have never heard anyone say this in RL. It is just so much a normal thing to do as far as I am concerned."

Same here. But I am a people person. I like to chat, my friends like to chat. We meet up when we can and if we can't we talk on the phone. I love it when someone rings me for a chat. It makes me feel wanted and cherished. My life isn't so busy that I can't make time for my friends, and if I am busy I just say so and ring back.

This thread is so depressing. So many people seem to not want to be contacted except by email or text - or Facebook I'm guessing. Like someone said, how insular and impersonal we've all become.

I'm introverted by nature, but I'm pleased when a friend phones for a chat.

I'm now going to be worried about phoning people since it seems I will just be annoying them. :(

I don't mind most phone calls MamaMary, just the ones from people like my MIL, who spends her life with the phone in her hand and who will ignore the people she is actually with to spend time taking and making calls, or the people who phone up to sell me something.

Agree totally, but that's probably because I have friends and family members who make an issue of it if I don't answer my phone. They then call DP to effectively "report" that I'm not answering, and the tone suggests they think I'm obliged to pick up because of who they are. The reason I don't is because only ring when it's suddenly convenient for them to come over, and it's always "today" - never "are you free next weekend?" and with 2 DCs I'm not a short notice type.

Our landline is down at the moment, which is very inconvenient for them. Needles to say I have no intention of fixing it!

Completely agree. And it pees me right off when it goes to voicemail and people hang up and dial again - rude rude rude rude rude.

I have only one friend who hates the phone, I know she hates the phone, and our friendship has slid over the years. I can't see her more than once every couple of years, as have lots of other friends to see and have lost touch really. Emails are fine, to some extent, but I prefer to chat to my long-term friends, and up til this thread, I assumed they preferred to chat too. Once you have all got children, it's harder to visit (I see most good friends once a year, perhaps twice) and if you do, you tend to drag husband and children with you, so less time for proper conversations. Phones are brilliant. I phone my mum/she phones me every day, we like it that way (but wouldn't stress if one of us was out/unavailable).

And, my first line is always 'is this a good time to talk?' and if not, or are busy, or baby crying, we chat for two min and rearrange for another time or get screened so I leave a message. I love it when an old friend phones me, otherwise what's a friendship if it's a every few years visit with the kids in tow and the odd message on Facebook? Perhaps it's an age thing.

I think nothing beats actual communication - either face to face, or by having a conversation on the phone. You only have to read all the threads on here about friends and relatives falling out and there's usually an exchange of texts / emails / facebook messages involved rather than just picking up the phone / going round and TALKING.

I used to feel like this-especially with my mum who seemed to ring each night just as we were ready to eat. Eventually I asked her to make it twice a week-one each way on predetermined days (Wed and Sun) unless there was an emergency. She is long dead now and every day I think how unkind I was and what I would give to hear her voice on the phone now. I am glad I am able to speak to my DC and my friends on the phone-texts and emails arent the same as someone's voice. If you are lonely a phone call can mean the world.

I do talk to people on the phone - I just prefer to arrange a time in advance to have a proper chat. I also dislike landlines because I have family members who somehow judge if I don't answer. My MIL called yesterday and sounded quite accusing that I hadn't answered when I had said I was unwell - and my own mother panics totally if I don't pick up at night and rings everyone demanding to know where I am. Oddly, people aren't so judgy if I don't answer my mobile.

I love the phone and I love visitors dropping by unexpectedly too. I have no problem with saying "Can I ring you back in a bit as I am busy?." There is always the answer phone as well, it's hardly intrusive

I'm sorry, but I'm with the YABU crowd. Text is a crap form of communication, email not much better. You don't have to pick up the phone if you are busy, or you can say you're busy and agree to ring back.

Oh good, some more sociable people on here now. I agree with all the points made. I don't think that texting and Facebook are anything like as good as talking on the phone or face to face. It is so easy to take things the wrong way when they are written down. I agree with Bramshott and am sure that there would be less falling out if people resorted to the old fashioned forms of communication instead of fighting it out by text or on a public forum. But then I am old enough to remember how we managed perfectly well before mobile phones were invented and dinosaurs walked the earth

This interests me. I am often rather surprised at the number of otherwise apparently 'normal' people I know who will not answer the phone unless they know the caller very personally. However, I muse deeper- and realise it probably tallies with the number of adults I meet in a professional capacity who cannot engage with other adults they don't know personally in any meaningful way at all. Completely inept and floundering, no social skills whatsoever, utterly out of their depth.

I guess these are the ones who freeze when the phone rings- but...we're not expecting anyone to ring, are we dear?!...

Erm, no LittenTree that description doesn't apply to me or other fellow phone-haters, I'm afraid. Bit too neat and simplistic that one.

My friends and I have started talking on the landline again. I love it. If we don't want to talk we just say so and ring off. Easy.

phone-haters that I know, I should add.