To be fed up on my birthday?

[lollipoppet]

It's my birthday and I am miserable :(

Dp has been working so i have just seen my folks and that's it. He left me two cards this morning, one from him, one from dd which would've been nice but they are lame cards. The one from dd is really grown up and to "mum" not "mummy" - she is only one. The one from him was just a generic card you might send to a friend, not your fiancée. We agreed on no presents as we have a wedding to save for but I thought he might get me a little token thing or something to open from dd.

I just don't feel very special and think he has made no effort.

Would you be upset or do you think I'm being a spoilt brat?

Oh, and there are no plans to do anything at a later date.

Sorry. That is crap even if you agreed on no gifts, it's still disappointing. Happy Birthday to you anyway OP.

Thanks. I'm glad you think it's disappointing too

It's my birthday and I'll cry in I want to, cry if I want to.......

That's a rubbish birthday, have some and and some chocs out of the box I am hiding from DH

If it makes you feel better I'll be off at a conference all week over my birthday and am not expecting DP to be organised enough to give me my card/present before I go.

Hugs, and more hugs, Happy Birthday lollipoppet...feck Christmas, Easter, Halloween celebrations, et al, Birthdays ARE important. Virtual card, chocs, Champagne, and sparkly frivolous gifts to you...

xXx

Awww! Happy Birthday poppet.

Can you have a party on here instead?

Happy Birthday Poppet
As a veteran of birthdays without ceremony of any sort, I feel your disappointment.
Have a and and spend the evening flicking through wedding magazines (or watch Sherlock) and you will soon feel better.

YANBU. I agree, a small token present would be nice. Any chance he might bring something home with him? No presents, eh? What was he thinking! He should know it means "no expensive presents". Tsk, tsk.

And as for the cards, well, remember that to a man, buying a card qualifies as "shopping" and therefore is a chore to be completed as fast as possible.

@ carrotsandcelery PoL says 'cheers', clinks glass of frankly fabulous Rose Salmon Billecart Champagne, looks around and mouths 'Great party lollipoppet'...where's the nibbles? Wha'd'ja mean there's no sausage rolls

def talk to him about it sometime because birthdays tend to be more important to some than others so he might not be that into birthdays - but if he knows you are, then he can plan a bit better. Also you need to plan more - if you know he is busy then book to see friends, or book a spa treatment or whatever. Its taken my and dh ten years to work out what each other mean about birthdays

YAB(a bit) U - you said no pressies so don't sulk because he respected your wishes. How many AIBU do we see where couples have agreed no presents and then one is p'd off as the other has bought a 'token' gift?
the card is different - he should have made an effort with the mummy card - my DP made that mistake once, not done it since

Can I trade rubbish birthday stories? Mine was when dds were little, had just left xp, wasn't talking to family (thanks to xp) had pnd, was dangerously underweight ... Anyway, woke up on my birthday with dds, not one card, gift, birthday wish. I heard from no-one all day and felt really crap by late afternoon (I am sure you can imagine!) So I thought I would make myself a birthday cake... Obviously once I put it in the oven the oven caught fire burning not only half my kitchen but also my cake

On the plus side I got to call the fire brigade who were all totally lovely and sung me happy birthday

It still ranks as one of my best and worst birthdays!

Anyway, happy birthday op, maybe plan a meal/party/holiday for ne,t year?

Happy birthday, poppet. Perhaps DP will come back from work with a little present.

If not, make sure you let him know that "no presents" means "only little thoughtful ones".

Definitely agree 'no presents' means 'no expensive presents' and partners/wives etc should expect a token present.

My exBF one year gave charity donations to me and all his family and I cried and cried because there was no little token present for me. It felt like I was being hideously selfish when he had donated to charity, but it seemed as if he didn't care about me at all. (NB the charity donations like Oxfam 'buy a goat' presents that now come with a token gift like a fridge magnet or some little trinket are a good solution imo - all you want is some little gesture that's personal to you in addition to the charitable donation).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOLLIPOPPET

Sounds like he's just a bit more literal than you or has a different attitude to birthdays. For some people, no presents means no presents. For others, no presents means only small presents! Neither view is wrong, he just needs to know which one you meant! Sorry you're feeling disappointed though.

I reckon you should talk to him about it without blaming him, and maybe ask if he can take you out for a meal or something nice to belatedly celebrate.

Sorry, I think that YABU.

You´re an adult-act like one!

You said no presents & you got cards from the people you love most in the world & you´ve seen your family.

Sad for you that you´re partner is working, but other than that, sounds great tbh.

Happy birthday!

Sorry, I think YABU also. You said no presents. He's not a mind-reader. And the cards, well, nothing to get worked up about. I don't get be-ribboned over-the-top "To my DARLING husband" ones either. I prefer plain, simple ones. Maybe he's like me.

My dad died the day before my birthday last year and so it was a shit birthday for me and my twin. Couldn`t get worse than that! My twin, as she lives away, had a card from my parents but mine is still on the sideboard unwritten so at least you had a card from the loved one - my mum might hav moved it now due to Christmas.

lollipoppet and carrotsandcelery ...can you feel the love tonight?... and similarly cheesy 80's tunes on D.J playlist at Birthday Party. C&C, are those leftovers from Christmas? (Eyes brie and cranberry parcels with suspicion)

What woman says 'no presents' and expects 'NO PRESENTS', honestly?!

PoL passes beautifully wrapped, selloptape hospital-cornered gift from self and C&C to lollipoppet, who responds with 'gosh, just what I wanted, but would never dream of buying for myself'

"What woman says 'no presents' and expects 'NO PRESENTS', honestly?!"

Me.

I don´t need gifts to make my birthday a happy one.

I would be disappointed if I didn´t get a card.

But time with my family & b/day hugs & kisses.

Happy birthday!!

I think you are being a leetle bit unreasonable though.

If you say no presents and no going out, I think most people will indeed take that literally. And lots of people are crap at picking out cards.

I think YANBU to be upset that your financial circumstances mean you can't do anything really great.

But YABU to be upset with your partner for just following your instructions really.

Anyway your birthday's not over yet! go grab a bottle of something cheap at the shop, put on some silly dance music and get all goofy with your DP. It's your birthday! Yay! Party!

Aw, just came back on here to see all your responses, thanks you guys! I am cheered up indeed.

I had started to feel a bit guilty before as dp asked what I'd had for "my birthday tea" which I thought was a pisstake about to send me over the edge but he then said maybe he could go one better and take me out when he's next off... I hope he can't read my mind (or posts on mn!) so having a in the bath now as feel better!

Previously here are the sausage rolls!! from greggs- only the best for my party!

t0ln13n I'm so sorry about your crap birthday. I really should be more appreciative x