in thinking I am NOT a drain on society?

[OtherPeoplesChildren]

I've been left feeling very low after some comments from my neighbour, the most hurtful one implying that I am a 'drain on society'. I would be interested to know if her take on my situation is a common one.
I am a single foster carer for children with emotional and behavioural problems, which I love. I gave up a good career to do this and now claim income support and housing benefit because the children I foster need me at home. I also have a DS who gets the 'perks' of having a parent on IS - free school meals etc. But obviously, he also has to share his parent with some pretty challenging other children. I save the state thousands of pounds a year as these children would be in residential care if they weren't fostered. My neighbour, who no doubt reads the Daily Mail, seems to think I spend all day watching Jeremy Kyle and eating biscuits. I suspect it has recently dawned on her that I claim benefits and she is annoyed by that. Clearly she doesn't know the reality of what I do (little sleep, no end of meetings, often on the receiving end of children's outbursts etc) and I think is probably just a bit jealous of the fact I don't go "out to work" and am home for my DS in school holidays etc.
So how do you see it, am I a drain on society? AIBU to think I give back more than I put in? Or is my neighbour BU? What would you think if I was your neighbour?

Even more differences have come up in the last few posts.

SS do not pay for school trips in my area but will pay towards it - so 2 school trips so far this year have cost me 370. No laptop either and no clubs or holidays - those all have to be met out of the allowance which is why I have to spend my 'fee' on those things - she does a dance class, riding and girl guides and I pay for that.

Also, there are 2 levels of carers in my local authority, not 3.

Really, the whole bloody thing should be standardised perhaps with more allocated to those in the south east as things are much more expensive here - my friends dd goes horse riding and pays 18 an hour in the midlands - I pay 38 per hour.

There is a national standardised allowance rate though Laurie.
It does reflect higher living costs in SE and London.
The poster caring for a baby on £30 a week needs to point that out to her LA!

Snogs/mounts Amberleaf ferociously, DH works away and I'm sexually emotionally starved, see sweetie, we CAN agree on some issues

Foster care and Kinship care is just another incidence of locality based inequity...sucks I tell you, sucks

We don't get any extra for trips, clubs ect. The schools do get £525 per term for each child looked after. The money can be pooled but it must benefit every looked after child.
I ask the school to pay towards the more expensive trips and the money can also be used to fund out of school activities and clubs. School paid all the expenses for us to take a child to London for a weekend recently as they agreed that would be educational.
I'm pretty sure that funding is national and not enough foster carers realise they have a right to know how the money is spent.

We can indeed!

I agree too that kinship carers get shafted, they save SS loads and get little support, I know a couple of people that have had to step up and care for a relatives child for various reasons and theyve had to fight for the sort of support that would be standard for most looked after children.

Yep that sucky system again!

I'm all for a 'zipless fuck' Amberleaf (ah, my non-conception fixated youth in an arid nutshell!)...

but.... don't go breaking blaming my heart Social Work, Budgets/Policy/Decision making comes from WAAAAAY up on high, beyond the reach of my daily mandate

OP, I would just like to add that, imo, anyone who fosters children with behavioural problems is a gift to society. Ignore your silly neighbour

There is absolutely NO WAY AT ALL that you are a drain on our society. You are an ASSET that we are very LUCKY TO HAVE.
Your neighbour is BU.

but.... don't go breaking blaming my heart Social Work, Budgets/Policy/Decision making comes from WAAAAAY up on high, beyond the reach of my daily mandate

Nooo I wasnt! I know its not down to those on the 'frontline'

The 'sucky' system is made by the high up lot, everyone else is just doing what they are instructed.

Technically everyone is a drain on society, especially this highly developed one. It's a selfish body which looks outward, not inward, and a good proportion of people who are part of one automatically rake in more resources than there are allocated to each person i.e. the nature of any sentient body with diverse self-interests.

But you're doing a good thing- whoever told that, just ignore them, they're not worth it, really.

Amberleaf.... you were amazing . See you back on 'Scroungers?' thread for some more high octane love/hate foreplay

A colleague and wife of DH are foster carers, have a young child at present...paid far more than the Kinship Carers I am currently working with, although male partner earns >50k. L.A (are they alone?) deciding that KC's have to decide to claim EITHER CTC/WTC OR Kinship Allowance...massive drop in income either way (Grandparent, on Incapacity benefit due to long-term degenerative illness), and L.A WILL inform DWP of decision.

I, and colleagues, out on home visits to break news over past few weeks...not a pleasant experience.

Tell next door to frig off or you could by her a pack of
How dare she you are providing a service that's invaluable

As Katherine Tate would say

HOW VERY DARE SHE

I AM FUCKING SICK TO DEATH OF IGNORANT IDIOTS LIKE YOUR NEIGHBOUR

You DO work. You provide an absolutely invaluable service. No doubt provide a stable, welcoming environment for children in need.

I fucking would not speak to her ever again. Cheeky fucking bitch

Why do you HAVE to give IT the time of day.

I'm so angry. I'd shove her down a drain.

There needs to be a national educational campaign about Carers.

NOW

PoL

Re kinship carers I dont know how its allowed TBH its so unfair.

The alternative would be to allow their young family member to be taken into care which obviously most decent folk would want to avoid.

I didnt know that about the 'either or' they should get extra help I think, especially as it often falls on older relatives, although in one of the cases I know it was an older sibling who took on her sister after their mum died, she really struggled financially, Im sure she said she was getting guardians allowance?

Amberleaf you ready to go AGAIN you racy young thing you!
(all gone tits up personal on other thread despite my best witty efforts

It is now, in L.A, either/or, huge drop for some (least able to adjust/compensate as per usual)

Legally it's a S.25 voluntary (Children (Scotland) Act, 1995) or S.11 Residence Order (C(S)A 1995), or PRO (with or without authority to adopt, C&A (S) Act, 2007), still adds up to naff all financial support when it's a blood relative.

I would tell you in graphic detail about a hell of lot of injustices but professional confidentiality stops me. Just take my word that it's a stinky system alright.

Whoever quoted the FCA paying £ 390 a week is not realising this is a fostering agency that will pay much more than most local authorities. Fostering agencies generally have the harder to place children and in my opinion will be well earning their money. Wish I got that much!

at GoingForGoalWeight shoving the neighbour down a drain

Asked my right wing oh for his opinion and his response is that you are not a drain and we need people like you!

Go and give yourself a pat on the back for doing something most of us couldn't do.

A drain on society - one of the saviours of society me thinks. If there were more like you then more vulnerable children might have a chance of a happy anf fulfilling life.

However my feckless step-brother who lives in his mums property, gets his housing benefit handed back to him, spends all of his job seekers on weed and x-box points, has no intention of ever getting paid employment and constantly mentions his inheritance (our parents are in their early fifties and are as fit as fiddles ) - he is a drain on society and should be made to clean the pavement outside your home with his tongue.

That is all.

you are NOT a drain to society

she is a cxxt

You are actually saving society money, it would cost more than your benefits to keep them in a care home.

There is only one reply your neighbour is worthy of. It begins with F and ends with off.

We have recently adopted and know first hand the amazing work that foster carers do. You are helping society, not a drain on it! In my opinion the benefits you receive are just part of the "employment package" you get for fostering! Fostering generally does not pay much, certainly no where near enough to cover the costs and time you spend. Our foster carers were retired on a good pension but outlaid far more than they were getting from the local authority.

Some people think we are doing a "great thing" by adopting but we always say that the foster carers of the world are the real heros. Keep up the good work!