in thinking I am NOT a drain on society?

[OtherPeoplesChildren]

I've been left feeling very low after some comments from my neighbour, the most hurtful one implying that I am a 'drain on society'. I would be interested to know if her take on my situation is a common one.
I am a single foster carer for children with emotional and behavioural problems, which I love. I gave up a good career to do this and now claim income support and housing benefit because the children I foster need me at home. I also have a DS who gets the 'perks' of having a parent on IS - free school meals etc. But obviously, he also has to share his parent with some pretty challenging other children. I save the state thousands of pounds a year as these children would be in residential care if they weren't fostered. My neighbour, who no doubt reads the Daily Mail, seems to think I spend all day watching Jeremy Kyle and eating biscuits. I suspect it has recently dawned on her that I claim benefits and she is annoyed by that. Clearly she doesn't know the reality of what I do (little sleep, no end of meetings, often on the receiving end of children's outbursts etc) and I think is probably just a bit jealous of the fact I don't go "out to work" and am home for my DS in school holidays etc.
So how do you see it, am I a drain on society? AIBU to think I give back more than I put in? Or is my neighbour BU? What would you think if I was your neighbour?

Your neighbour is a NUT!

You are the total opposite of a drain on society! You are helping! You are helping children who need someone. You are valuable.

I suppose she'd like to see children back in big children's homes, would she?

Ohhh that makes sense Maryz thank you

And yes, I still have to go for 6 monthly reviews at the jobcentre who say "obviously you can't have another job as well, bye, see you in 6 months"

Your neighbour is an uninformed plonker. AFAIK carers save the ecomony billions a year as them taking care of those who need looking after don't then need to be in residential homes costing alot more money to run.

You are not a drain on society you are a huge benefit to society and especially to those you take care of.

I was very ignorant in the sense that I didn't understand the magnitude that foster carers do for the children they care for in return for very little help and a lot of demands from the government but even then I still didn't think they were a drain on society and I had a lot of respect for carers as they are making a difference to the lives of those in care. Since joining mumsnet however, and reading the foster threads, I was truly taken aback by what some foster carers have to go through, it's not just a case of looking after those children that are placed with them, but dealing with their emotional difficulties too, the parents, social workers, meetings, lack of money, then dealing with the children you've put so much work into and bonded with moving on. OP I'd be very proud to be your neighbour

The decision was made when the Lone Parent changes were introduced that LP's who provided foster care would remain on Income Support. This means they are able at short notice to take a child into their home without having the worry about moving from one benefit to another and back again in short and repeated spaces of time. All above board

Altinkum - there is a common misconception that foster carers get paid a fortune. This is not helped by adverts everywhere inviting you to "become a foster carer and earn £500pw". The reality isn't quite like that. I chose to foster because I wanted to help, not line the pockets of the director of a private agency, so I work for my local authority who pay me no fee at all. That is why I get income support - so I can feed and clothe myself.

How much to do you get op?

Alkinmum- allowances depend on the age of the child, level of the FC and the local authority. Ours changed the allowances and I'm in a different job now so not up to speed but I remember an outcry over baby allowances becoming £30ish a week

I'm still confused as to why she is getting income support, housing benefit yes, but not the IS, as she is working for part of her local council

Its because something like 2/3rds of the weekly amount is classed as expenses, it was the same with childminders [not sure if it still is though]

My friend fosters twins. She gets £900 a week for having them. I gather you get more when the children have more needs.

My parents are foster carers and the money they receive weekly as a "wage" is £50 the rest of the money has to be spent in certain ways ie savings for each child, pocket money, clothing allowance etc.

If your neighbour devoted half as much time to questioning why eg Phillip Green (Arcadia) avoids tax while advising the govt on making cuts or eg the new proposed legislation cutting payments to disabled children, we would all get the benefits of living in a more civilised country. Just a thought.

Altinkum and Methe - I am not paid a fee. I would not claim (or be allowed to claim!) IS if I was.

Of course you're not a drain, and I can't imagine anyone (except your neighbour) thinking you are. Looking after children is a job, often a very hard job and nobody should live in poverty because they've chosen to do this.

What is interesting is that if these were your own children and not foster children many many people would think you are a drain. I don't understand really why the two circumstances should be considered so differently.

Otherpeopleschildren: you are an asset to society & I have the greatest respect for you.

I often see children in the care system professionally, usually at a point of crisis. The system tries but still fails these children in so many ways. What you are doing is priceless: trying to give these children a better future.

Clearly YANBU.

No of course I don't and I think foster carers are an absolute asset of sociaty and should be super proud of themselves!

They out to be paid for it though and If they are paid they shouldn't be able to claim IS. If someone earns 1k a week for foster caring they really didn't ought to taking free school meals for example.

The op hasnt said ho much she earns. Whether it's 100pw or 1kpwis relevant!

Bugger - my post evaporated.

I have friends who are foster carers and they freely talk about the money they get from the council (in excess of £400 per week per child). One has between 4 and 6 teenage girls at any given time. I don't think £1600-£2400 per week is any small amount by anyones standards.

I would have thought that claiming benefits, whilst in receipt of such tax free income is astounding. And I cant see the 'perk' being FSMs either.

I'm going to throw this link in - apols to the mortally offended, but the DM is always top of the pile and the easiest read on the net. It is a shame the foster parent in this case wasn't named because her quotes all scream "I was in it for the money":

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1138701/Foster-parent-looked-80-children-struck--Muslim-girl-care-Christian.html

A foster mother has been struck off by a council after a teenage Muslim girl in her care became a Christian.

The carer, who has ten years? experience and has looked after more than 80 children, said she was ?devastated? by the decision.

?This is my life,? she revealed. ?It is not just a job for me. It is a vocation. I love what I do. It is also my entire income. I am a single carer, so that is all I have to live on.?

The foster mother said she had recently bought a larger car and had been renting a farmhouse, with a pony in a field, so that she could provide more disadvantaged children with a new life.

?That was always my dream and then suddenly, bang, it was gone. I am now in a one-bedroom flat,? she added.

The radio advertises for foster carers here all the time and the ad says that there is a paid income attached. Is that a fib?

Guardian link to Edinburgh rates

www.guardian.co.uk/edinburgh/2011/jan/17/edinburgh-foster-caring-pay-rates-myths

Examples given:

Specialist disability care

Dave is a specialist carer who looks after Joan, 11. Joan lives with Dave and his family full time. Joan has Down's Syndrome and requires a high level of care which is reflected in the weekly fee.

Dave gets a weekly allowance of £141.23, which covers maintenance, Joan's clothing and her pocket money. He also receives £378.41 as a weekly fee for Joan.

In total, Dave receives £519.64 per week for caring for Joan.

Teenagers with behaviour problems

Kelly cares for Jack full time. Jack is a teenager has had a troubled family life and has behaviour problems. The high level of support he needs is reflected in the weekly fee. Kelly gets a weekly allowance of £145.19, which covers maintenance, Jack's clothing and his pocket money. She also receives £378.41 as a weekly fee for Jack.

In total, Kelly receives £523.60 per week for caring for Jack.

This is all very interesting to me as up until now I hadn't really given a second thought to how I receive the money that I live on, and I hadn't thought how other people would perceive what I do. The money foster carers live on often comes from taxpayers money one way or another, whether that's through benefits or a fostering fee, but it seems that how it is paid makes a big difference to how people feel about paying for it. My self esteem would be higher if I were paid a fee, FWIW. I don't enjoy claiming benefits.

No wonder hardly anyone wants to foster if they have to claim IS. Cheapskate government