Cougar, Toy Boy, Caroline Flack, Madonna, J-Lo!!??

[akaemmafrost]

Do you know what I am fed up to the back teeth with this negative perception and current press obsession with older women dating younger men! It's headline news ffs! Bryan Ferry married a woman 30 years younger than him this week, we got a few simpering headlines and that's it.

Every single day there is some kind of story, often more than one, about the above mentioned women and the slanted way their relationships are presented really pisses me off, very slightly tawdry, piss taking, out and out disgust quite often.

I am so tired of it. This women are successful, gorgeous and CAN HAVE WHOEVER THEY WANT!!!! Just like men. Write about them by all means just stop being so negative and accusatory and piss taking about it.

Yeah but Carolune Flack is a wrong un. Don't care about 30 year olds and 60 year olds but a 30something a a teenager is gross. Whichever way the genders fall.

It's not 'natural' in the animal kingdom. No young buck wants to be saddled with a perished set of overies. Animal instict will out I'm afraid. it doesnt matter how much nip, tuck, bleach and botox a woman has had - she's past it at 45. Demi Moore pops into my head at this point; useful as a career enhancer, but he'll eventually settle with someone 5-10 years younger than himself and havea family of his own. She only wanted eye candy for the arm. She used him to bolster her flagging esteam, in turn he gota leg up the career ladder.

On the other hand, Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas -she can of course still have childen and he can father them.

Thats life.

tin hat, bunker, flame proof suit donned

So in three years time when he is 20 and she is 35, will that be ok?

And Denise Welch (who must be 100 by now) sticking her tongue down Frankie X-factor rejects gob the other night . Sad sad sad sad, utter vomitsville. Needy and pervy sprang to mind.

But Michael Madsen "flirting" with Natasha was ok?

Who? I only saw the Denise Welch thing in the papers - I don't watch the programme!

Exactly, only Denise Welch made a big deal out of. Michael Madsen perving over Natasha's leopard skin shoes barely gets a mention. My point entirely.

In 3 years he will be hugely more mature than he is now. 3 years is a very long time in development terms for an adolescent. So yes, it would more acceptable, if still unusual.

Natasha watsit is in her late 20s no? An adult woman.

Out of interest what age gap with a woman being the older partner is "acceptable" and won't be met with horror and piss taking?

Slightly more 'normal' in mating terms to look to a partner who can carry children. We are only one step removed from animals.

Frankie Thing must have been quite non plussed at the alcoholic ashtray sticking her tongue down his throat!

Has Michael Maslan stuck his tongue down this Natashas throat?

I agree with troisgarcons. I don't like it but I think it is how things are. Even lovely, decent men err on the side of youth and the men who have status will always attract it. It should be the same for women but it's just not for the most part.

I don't care about age gaps if both partners are developed adults. Where one is an adolescent and the other a much older adult I will judge. I think it is dangerous, unhealthy and potentially abusive.

On a serious note - personally, I cant see what any woman finds attractive in younger men. They don't float my boat.

With the best will in the world you can challenge gender sterotyping - but even in forums such as this, it occurs. There are primal instincts you can't educate out of us because when push comes to shove there are much more biological and hormonal elements that over ride.

Therefore a woman of childbearing age will look for stability and protection for her and her future family. There are studies. Older, wealthier men often provide this.

I'm not saying iot's right or wrong, it's the way it is.

As a mother of a 19yr old I always find relationships between adults and teenagers a bit distasteful. I accept this is one of my predjudices but the idea of getting of with one of the teenagers that hang in my house is just yuk. I would find it hard to be polite to a 35 yr old who was persuing a relationship with my 17 yr old child. It would seem very predatory. Having been in a similar situation myself as a teenager I would say it is predatory.

Well if we are using the "nature" argument, many species have large groups of females dominated by ONE male who takes his turn on each of them in order to procreate - lions, deer, walruses to name but a few. That does not seem to be a human societal NORM as far as I am aware so it seems to me that this negativity and distaste towards an older female choosing a younger partner is purely down to how we are conditioned by society ie Older, Successful Men choosing young, attractive partners is acceptable, Older Successful Women choosing young, attractive partners is most emphatically not.

The majority of women are fertile until their early fifties, so for me I am afraid the nature argument just doesn't wash.

Yes, its "the Way It Is" and it pisses me off .

Although I do have to admit that the Denise Welch and Frankie whatsisface thing was pretty grim but thats because they are both so deeply unattractive!

I agree with you op, as long as they are both over 18 who cares!

Well if we are using the "nature" argument, many species have large groups of females dominated by ONE male who takes his turn on each of them in order to procreate - lions, deer, walruses to name but a few. That does not seem to be a human societal NORM

I think you will find is is the 'norm' in most other cultures EXCEPT western ones that are predominantly Christian. It is quite 'normal' for men to have many wives in other cultures

According to the Ethnographic Atlas Codebook, of 1,231 societies noted, 186 were monogamous. 453 had occasional polygyny, 588 had more frequent polygyny, and 4 had polyandry

The majority of women are fertile until their early fifties, so for me I am afraid the nature argument just doesn't wash.

And likelihood of birth defects increases over 35.

The French however have a different take on it - it's quite 'normal' for either partner in French culture to have younger lovers.

Yes but in those cultures I should imagine that in the main women do not have the freedom to express their sexuality as we do in ours so these situations are unlikely to arise. So in my argument I am aiming towards Western Societies.

Although it is possible for men to father children into old age, the genetic quality of sperm, as well as its volume and motility, all typically decrease with age.[10] In other words, older sperm are less likely to result in a successful pregnancy and, moreover, the cumulative fragmentation of sperm DNA over time[11] makes it more likely that an older father will pass on achondroplasia and possibly other genetic diseases.[12] The onset of genetic deterioration of sperm is believed to have begun by the 24-28. For example, the percentage of sperm with highly damaged DNA, comet extent, DNA break number, and other comet measures has been found to be significantly higher in men aged 31?57 years than in those aged 20?30 years.

Thanks pigletmania it really IS that simple for me.

Well you cannot exclude 90% of the worlds population and describe the remaining 10% as 'normal'.