Cougar, Toy Boy, Caroline Flack, Madonna, J-Lo!!??

[akaemmafrost]

Do you know what I am fed up to the back teeth with this negative perception and current press obsession with older women dating younger men! It's headline news ffs! Bryan Ferry married a woman 30 years younger than him this week, we got a few simpering headlines and that's it.

Every single day there is some kind of story, often more than one, about the above mentioned women and the slanted way their relationships are presented really pisses me off, very slightly tawdry, piss taking, out and out disgust quite often.

I am so tired of it. This women are successful, gorgeous and CAN HAVE WHOEVER THEY WANT!!!! Just like men. Write about them by all means just stop being so negative and accusatory and piss taking about it.

So what we've established between us is:

Eggs perish. Sperm goes round in circles and we are all damned over the age of 30-35?

I don't think I have done that. I am talking about my own society the one whose "rules" I am aware of and I am challenging them.

Yep pretty much.

So we should all be getting it on with whoever we want, no matter what age or sex and not having to be slagged off in the press on a daily basis for doing so. Should be normal for both gender. In my perfect world anyway.

OBVIOUSLY not whatever age, over the age of informed consent is what I meant and tbh I do think for many young people that should be 18 not 16, which throws a shadow on the Caroline Flack/whatsiface from One Direction example. Just wanted to clarify.

I can't see the problem, as long as they are both consenting adults, who cares! The fertility of men go downhill when they age, sperm production decreases and the quality and motility diminishes in time, they may also suffer from erectile dysfunction too. So I don't think that there are loads of viril men over the age of 50 tbh.

women have a withered set of overies, and men have a withered set of balls

Exactly the only thing that is different is the perception that it is somehow unacceptable for WOMEN to get it on with younger men but fully acceptable and totally encouraged for MEN to get it on with younger women.

So its not a nature thing at all. Its a society thing and just one more way of keeping women at the bottom of the pile imvho.

I'm 31 and my husband 22 I don't see any problem !! I look a lot younger than I am and he's a lot more mature than his age.. None of my friends or family had a problem which surprised me with his family as I was 29 when we met divorced with a 3 year old.. But we all get along great.. Each to their own I say who are we to judge !! Wouldn't be good if everyone likes the same type/age/kind of person would it

I'm 46. Nice to know I'm past it...

Of course it's about social conditioning - the question was about the slant on the headlines in this culture where getting together with someone does not necessarily lead to offspring. It's clearly sneering at successful women who threaten the prevailing "male dominant" assumptions.

Yes and it's actually pretty depressing to read the majority opinions of WOMEN on this thread.

Yep... Perhaps it's not only some inadequate men who find older, successful women a threat?

I'm 46 and let me tell you - my ovaries died off a long time ago

I don't think people do think its fine for men to have much younger partners but don't think women should I think it's just people are more used to it. Also the media have made up a silly word ("cougar") which is generating buzz at the moment and the media are really messed up about women over the age of about 25 anyway so have got their knickers in a twist about it.

FWIW, I do think there is a difference between two adults with a large age gap and an adult and a teen (under 18) having a relationship. I thought that when I was a college/Uni too when a few girls had these much older blokes.

Also, Demi and Ashton were together for ages (in celeb years) so I think it's a bit mean to laugh at their relationship, to be together for that long you have to have more than a taste for older/younger partners.

at this entire thread, pretty much.

I conclude, from this study, younger partners are merely gold diggers, and older partners just want eye candy.

Relationships with age disparity of all kinds have been observed with both men and women as the older or younger significant other. In the modern Western culture, older men often seek younger women.[6] Older women often date younger men as well,[7] and in both cases wealth and physical attractiveness are often relevant.

On average in Europe, most men marry women around three years younger.[8] A study released in 2003 by the United Kingdom's Office for National Statistics concluded that the proportion of women in England and Wales marrying younger men rose from 15% to 26% between 1963 and 1998.[9]

In August 2010, Dr. Michael Dunn of the University of Wales Institute, Cardiff completed and released the results of a study on age disparity in dating. Dr. Dunn concluded that "Not once across all ages and countries...did females show a preference for males significantly younger than male preferences for females" and that there was a "consistent cross-cultural preference by women for at least same-age or significantly older men." A 2003 AARP study had previously brought results that 34% of forty-year and older women were dating younger men.[10]

Nobody in their 30s, male or female, should be persuing a 17 year old child IMO.

Agree with that Newbie...

Would be interested to see the contributors that study - although not interested enough to actually Google it.

I've just come out of an eight year relationship with someone eight years younger than me. I have a tendency toward younger men (not under 35 though!) and I know some of this is due to their attitudes towards women in general. I find men my own age and older rather more "old fashioned" in their views - which generally pisses me off. Aware that this is a huge generalisation. I find men my own age can be put off by my confidence and career, etc.

I agree and my view is its distasteful if the person is under 18. I have a stepson that age and I just dont understand how any woman could be in a relationship with a child like that. Same with men and teenagers.

Oh and fwiw I have had a boyfriend who was 15 years younger than me too

I used to care for a woman who was 15 years older than her husband, at the moment she is 84 and he is 69. They've been married 45 years but she still constantly gets comments about having a toyboy

Never heard anyone call her a cougar though

IMO it's a bit pointless using the 'nature' argument on subjects like this. We are socialised and civilised with a complex culture. Most of us can see past things animals can't, like disability and age, when finding a partner. In the west we also have a free welfare state which reduces the need for women to find an all powerful provider. And if we're all programmed to find a suitable breeding mate, how do you explain homosexuality?

I agree with troisgarcons re the nature/fertility thing.

Although, I'm 42 and my DP is 31 and I am pregnant with our baby. We've been together 4.5 years.