I like women - why do we hate each other?

[spiderslegs]

Stop with your bitching my friends.

Really.

Too much opprobrium.

Perhaps it has something to do with us being conditioned from an early age to compete with one another for male attention.

Or perhaps you're all just a bunch of cunts.

i dont like women to be fair - most of them are mean

Wasn't there a study somewhere conducted by some random that suggested that women actually dress for other women, not for men? I think there's a grain of truth in that.

I don't think "we" do hate each other.

I don't "hate" (by which I assume you mean dislike or disapprove of or get irritated by) women any more than I do men.

If you did the Macarena on someone's grave would it be suitable victory-dance-ish?

Mmmmm.... .... yes women on MN definitely talk about each other and about other women in RL in quite a different way to how men would talk about each other on a male version of MN.

In fact, I had a chat with a female teacher the other day, who said that frankly she gets a lot more problems with relationships between teenage girls in her class than between boys who are generallly fairly straightforward. Boys are much more likely to punch each other and be a lot more direct in their feelings and not so much of the bitchy stuff.

A lot of it is interpretation. For instance, the example that Beta gives: boys who are tearing lumps out of one another one day, then friends again the next, are applauded for their direct confrontation and "getting it over with". The same behaviour in girls is derided as fickleness, and "blowing hot and cold".

It is often similar with adults. Men DO talk about each other behind their backs, but they tend to disguise it as "banter" or "having a laugh", and this is taken at face value. In work situations, a large amount of scheming is done by men, but it is accepted, and sometimes congratulated, far more than similar behaviour from women. For example, someone I used to work for, a man, was incredibly adept at devising schemes to manoeuvre unpopular and unproductive employees out of the company. I never once heard him decried as manipulative, bitchy or backstabby, although his behaviour was at times, all three.

Well said thesmallclanger

There are plenty of 'bitchy' men out there. I was reading a thread yesterday where a man had made an incredibly bitchy comment to a women he had just met. Plenty of posters on that thread seemed to have similar experiences.

YABVU - even though you haven't asked.

I find camp or effeminate men are tricky to work out. I'm never sure if they are being genuinely offensive when they say stuff like 'ooh you BITCH!' and not at all sure if I am allowed to be offended regardless of their intention.

I knew a very nice lady where I worked who was spoken to in this way and her expression made it clear she was very much in shock and also unsure how to react. I didn't know whether I should have said something on her behalf and still to this day don't know if I ever would.

How would you take that sort of thing?

smallclanger agree. Men can be just as bitchy but people generally won't accept it.

Off the top of my head I worked with a straight man who always bitched that female or gay male colleagues only pulled in work because they'd shagged for it. If challenged (not often enough for my liking) he'd say: 'only joking. Can't you take a joke?'

Another would intimidate or badmouth his way to the best assignments. When I found out that he'd tried this unsuccessfully with me I went mad at him in public. He then toured the office doing a little boy: 'why does limited hate me so much?' act to the women and 'limited's just fucking unhinged' to the men.

I've met countless men who fear and loathe women and aren't afraid to express it, especially to other men. I'm sure they hate male rivals too but it's not as easy to say it.

I think you are right but easy to be like that on here and I inc myself! My RL friends are totally non judgy supportive and a real laugh they keep me going at times! Men are bitchy too

Bullshit. I hate people who treat me badly (so about four people in total). That isn't gender specific.

Some women bitch, as do some men. It makes them slightly more fickle IMO but it doesnt make them bad people.

I've never hated anyone off the net, as that's just silly. It's not RL as far as I'm concerned.

Although kudos on the usage of opprobrium - I take it you got word of the day toilet paper for Christmas

I have loads of female friends, and a few male friends. So I can't say as a rule that I hate women (though there are a few who I find very annoying*). But I do notice that female columnists in newspapers are forever attacking other women for incredibly trivial reasons (wearing the wrong dress, or holding their baby the wrong way, all that stuff) whereas men get a much easier ride from both men and women.

• I find a lot of men annoying too, but usually for different reasons. The most common crime among men seems to be an inflated sense of their own abilities or importance, and in inability to realise when they're being boring.

What tethers and smallclanger said.

I genuinely prefer women to men socially. I also would prefer to deal with women at work - much less bullshit and ego . I like men and am very heterosexual but, all in all, I think when women drop the competitive crap they are quickly able to be strong and supportive together. Perhaps that's why the competition is encouraged?

People notice it more when women are unpleasant to each other, because it confirms an oversimplistic stereotype about what us wimmin are like. I say it's all bollocks.

Men hate men, men hate women. Women hate men, women hate women. I am convinced, though, that most of us are lovely people who do much more loving than hating!

I dislike people who have been awful to me, both of them are women.

And I bitch about them

Most of the time I am upfront if annoyed but I have been known to have a bit of a bitch/moan about my women friends to another friend because sometimes I just want to unload and it's not worth any upset over it as it's my problem, not theirs iyswim?

I was thinking about this and, in the case of, for example, wives/exwives, possibly when we lived in caves and the men went out to bring back food and women stayed home looking after the offspring. If the man showed interest in another female the woman would fight to keep him because without a man she and offspring would die of starvation.
So, if any other female arrives as competition it produces instinctive bitchiness to keep the provider.
And this continues today though the scenario is different.

I mostly dislike men. Women are much better/nicer/friendlier/kinder/wiser etc. Bitchy women are very much the minority. I don't think women hate each other, not the one's I know anyway.

*ones. Crap

I dont hate women or men...just the human race in general

I know what you mean OP. I find women tend to expect more of other women and they tend to be more forgiving of men.

I love other women, enjoy their company, love chatting with them, working with them. I get annoyed when women let the side down with comments like 'I prefer the company of men, women are such bitches' - courtesy of a female colleague last week.

DoMeDon - that's exactly the comment I used to make when I was younger. I don't feel the same way now, but I suspect that has more to do with the person I've become rather than finding women less bitchy.