To expect to be fed when babysitting?

[PulpFriction]

Babysat for a friend last night for the first time, don't know her all that well, but our DCs are at nursery together. Had a long day at work, and by the time I got back, fed DD and put her to bed I was famished but totally assumed friend would have got something in for me to eat. When I arrived, quickly realised that all that was on offer was tea/coffee. No crisps, no choc, no biscuits and NO dinner whatsoever. I could have wept. I did end up finding some biscuits but felt a bit guilty just helping myself. It was a long hungry night...

Whenever I have a friend to babysit, I go overboard with a nice ready meal, choice of wine, pudding etc, but having just a 2 yr old, I'm relatively new to the whole babysitting protocol. Should I have brought round my own tucker?

Was this the person who babysat for you previously that you provided the meal etc for?? If so then i would have expected that she would return the favour.

Ordinarily i wouldnt expect a meal to be on offer/offered unless it was an early start, maybe 6.30ish?

YABU - if I had a babysitter in - it would be so I could go out and relax - last thing I want is to stress over what to feed the sitter. I would leave biscuits, chocolate, make you a cuppa and show you where evrything was to help yourself to more drinks though. You would also be welcome to help yourself from the fridge if you wanted a sarnie or something proper to eat.

Eat the children?

I'ld never think to leave a dinner, I would expect someone to have eaten in advance, but i've never had anyone other than family babysit.

Was there not cereal and milk, or fruit and a yogurt in the fridge?

Have you noticed how about half the uk have their tea before 7pm and the other half wouldn't dream of having their dinner before 7pm?

I suspect this is the root of the problem-OP belongs to the 2nd group and the babysitees to the former.

wmmc

I use babysitters via an agency (IE not friends/family) and leave out a selection of hot drinks/biscuits/cake/fruit and tell them to help themselves to anything else they might fancy.

It would never have occurred to me to cookfor them.

That said, if I had family or friends to babysit I'd probably leave money for a takeaway, or fill the fridge with their favourite foods in lieu of payment.

I think you're absolutely right chipmunksex. Never ever ever eat dinner before 8pm but that doesn't stop me scoffing DD's leftovers

Pulp I think you are mad . No we have never fed any babysitter a meal .
Ours are always very happy with some choc and a glass of wine .

It would never occur to me to give a babysitter a meal. I would show them where the tea/coffee is and the biscuit tin.

In the evening I would expect the babysitter to have eaten before coming to my house.

I sat for a lot of different people in my teens / twenties - I've never been offered a meal (and would be a bit if they had left me one.
I've now used several different babysitters(all of whom have come back!) some of whom have been free and some paid, but it never, ever crossed my mind, amid all the stress of trying to get ready to go out on time + trying to leave areas of the house the sitter will see realtively tidy and clean + getting the children as settles as can be, to then start stressing about organising a meal for the sitter too!

I didn't even have any wine!

i guess it must be a cultural difference then, because i would be seriously stressed at a babysitter who had a glass of wine whilst babysitting for me. just as i wouldnt be happy to find out she had her boyfriend over.

I do take my babysitter out for lunch as a thank you though.

We use sitters. I always provide tea, coffee, etc etc plus biscuits and crisps. I also tell them to make themselves a sandwich if they want and to help themselves. But I would expect them to have their dinner before.

It depends, if I've gone out early (6ish) I've left a pizza or money for one. If I'm going out later I usually just say help yourself to anything snacks soup sandwiches etc. If adult friends have babysat I've bought them beers/wine but not food unless I've gone out early. If my usual babysitter (13yo) is sitting I get her snacks and pop and a pizza for her to chuck in the oven maybe.

Oh ps I have never settled the child I'm paying for them to look after him not sit in my house and eat food and be paid for doing nothing

It isn't the norm to give a meal. I would be the opposite and be horrified if someone had gone to the trouble of a meal that I didn't want. I would expect tea or coffee and there are generally biscuits-which I ignore.