Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To expect to be fed when babysitting?

67 replies

PulpFriction · 14/01/2012 20:54

Babysat for a friend last night for the first time, don't know her all that well, but our DCs are at nursery together. Had a long day at work, and by the time I got back, fed DD and put her to bed I was famished but totally assumed friend would have got something in for me to eat. When I arrived, quickly realised that all that was on offer was tea/coffee. No crisps, no choc, no biscuits and NO dinner whatsoever. I could have wept. I did end up finding some biscuits but felt a bit guilty just helping myself. It was a long hungry night...

Whenever I have a friend to babysit, I go overboard with a nice ready meal, choice of wine, pudding etc, but having just a 2 yr old, I'm relatively new to the whole babysitting protocol. Should I have brought round my own tucker?

OP posts:

FutureNannyOgg · 14/01/2012 21:13

Biscuits, crisps, fruit bowl sure. But I wouldn't expect dinner, not if it hadn't been discussed. The only time I ever got proper food when babysitting was when the parents were taking part in a progressive supper, so I got the leftovers of their course.

pigletmania · 14/01/2012 21:13

If somebody is doing a favour looking after your kids without payment, the least you could do is make them as comfortable as possible, and provide a bit of food and some snacks while the while away the evening.

lostlady · 14/01/2012 21:13

By food, I mean dinner: pizza, or what have made for dcs. Plus biscuits/ice creams/ treats.

lazylula · 14/01/2012 21:14

I would never think to leave a dinner for my sitter unless we had discussed it earlier (in the past we have paid for takeout pizza for sil in payment for sitting as she refused to be paid to babysit). I do tend to leave crisps, chocolate and biscuits out for them to help themselves too during the evening.

AgentZigzag · 14/01/2012 21:15

Look, will you fucking shut up about pizza? Please.

Original poster

PulpFriction · 14/01/2012 21:16

Well it looks like IAB slightly U to have expected a meal of some kind. I'll know for next time. I did consider ordering a pizza but there house was quite rural and I wasn't even sure of the address. Was hoping the red cross might have heard of my plight and dropped a food parcel.

OP posts:

mathanxiety · 14/01/2012 21:20

YANBU. I would feel a bit used no matter what time the favour trade had started. There should at least have been something to snack on.

I always invited the babysitter to have whatever the DCs were having, and made sure it was something generally liked by 99% of the population (spag and meatballs, macaroni and cheese, pizza, etc) and told them to help themselves to breakfast cereal, crackers, fruit, cheese, yogurt, ice cream, whatever was in the fridge if they wanted a snack. I usually left a babysitter with the task of feeding them and clearing up with them afterwards as it would help make the time go past for everyone, and if the sitter had already eaten or didn't like the look of dinner or couldn't face eating with all the slurping and competitive burping going on, then she was free to just supervise. Now that the DCs babysit, it's very unusual not to be offered a meal, unless they're starting really late. Everyone they babysit for points them in the direction of the fridge and pantry for drinks and snacks. And they are paid too. No singing for their supper.

chipmunksex · 14/01/2012 21:24

YABU Jaffa cakes and tea, a club biscuit and some douwe egberts, hot chocolate and some homemade cake if you're really lucky. But a meal-no.

An0therName · 14/01/2012 21:26

unless it was a very early start eg 5 I wouldn't provide food - except for biscuist etc, but I think in your case if you sit again you would no BU to say to your friend I wouldn't have time to eat could you leave me something

DorothyGherkins · 14/01/2012 21:26

Whenever I go babysitting, I always take a bag with me containing snacks, coffee, fruit, nuts etc. and if I go straight from work without eating first, then I would generally make sure I take a microwave meal with me that I can heat up. I would never presume I would be fed when I am being paid to babysit. And very often people are nearly out of milk etc, and I would hate to take the last of theirs. Always always go very well prepared - so never need to go hungry!

ronx · 14/01/2012 21:27

Blimey.
I just leave out tea, coffee and biscuits. I had no idea I was supposed to offer babysitters a meal.

BellaVita · 14/01/2012 21:28

YABU to expect a meal.

I provide biscuits/cake/tea/coffee.

JustHecate · 14/01/2012 21:29

Was there no food in the house?

No bread to make toast? nothing?

TongueTwisted · 14/01/2012 21:30

I never expected food when I have babysat in the past.

She wasn't to know you hadn't eaten tea. And do you expect work to provide you with your lunch? Similar thing really.

I've been offered biscuits with tea/coffee but never an actual meal. So YABU to expect a cooked dinner but NU to expect a few biscuits.

natation · 14/01/2012 21:30

Never been offered food / drink other than a few munchies and a cup of tea :-( I obviously babysit for the wrong people! I babysit for free too, never accept money, so I'm a dream babysitter aren't I

BlingLoving · 14/01/2012 21:35

I would not dream of not feeding a friend who is doing me a favour by babysitting my child. And to be honest I am surprised by everyone's response.

Even if I was paying a babysitter, i would leave at least a light meal.

Asinine · 14/01/2012 21:41

I would only leave tea and biscuits, it would never cross my mind that you wouldn't have eaten by 7. If I didn't eat at 6 I'd turn into an intolerant child hating witch, totally unsuitable to babysit.

ChitChatInChaos · 14/01/2012 21:42

I used to, but hardly any of the babysitters ever ate meals! If it's an early start I definitely leave something in the fridge and let them know (or leave a bit of money for a delivery).

I usually ask if they've had a chance to eat before coming, and occasionally they won't have and then I pull out a freezer meal for them.

feelingbullied · 14/01/2012 21:44

I would NEVER let someone babysit for me without providing them with a hot meal as well. It might not be freshly made. it might be in the fridge and they have to stick it in the microwave, but it would never cross my mind to leave someone hungry for the evening.
op, i wouldnt bother socialising with someone so rude ever again.

reindeersledder · 14/01/2012 21:46

Wouldn't expect a babysitter arriving at 7pm to want a meal.

Would expect for them to help themselves to a few biscuits and of course tea/coffee/whatever.

But a full meal with pudding and choice of wine like the OP has provided for hers - absolutely not - wouldn't even enter my head to consider it, tbh! Not for that time at night. Perhaps if arrival was 5pm ish, say....

TuesdayNightClub · 14/01/2012 21:49

Biscuits/crisps or "help yourself to anything in the cupboards" would be all I would expect as a babysitter. I babysat (unpaid) last night, hadn't had my dinner so got some take away while I was there. Simples!

Original poster

PulpFriction · 14/01/2012 21:50

To be clear ... I wasn't expecting a lovingly prepared home cooked meal! A pizza or ready meal. But this is useful - I'll know not to get all stressy and go to town on the catering front when I ask someone to babysit next time.

OP posts:

StealthPolarBear · 14/01/2012 21:55

But they are exchanging favours. So it's not really relevant that the babysitter was unpaid - the OP could ahve handed over £20 and then demanded the same when her turn came round

dribbleface · 14/01/2012 21:56

i babysat for a family that didn't have a kettle, tea bag's or anything. i was traumatised!

ballstoit · 14/01/2012 21:57

YABU. I don't think dinner is something you expect when you're babysitting.

I do dinner for my brother when he babysits, mainly because he asks me to . Otherwise, if my friends or sister babysit I'd assume they'd eaten with their DC, unless they said otherwise. If it's an early one, for parents evening or something, I'd do enough dinner for my parents or god daughter to eat with the DC.

Whoever's babysitting, I do leave biscuits, crisps or nice fruit if I know they're Weight Watchering. Plus tea, coffee and hot chocolate are always available.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread