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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to punish DS for weeing everywhere?

48 replies

JanuaryJoan · 14/01/2012 20:48

Have NC, really not sure if I was a bit harsh so welcome opinions.

Bit of context/background: I gave DS (5) a choice of what he wanted to do today - he chose to go to a local museum he really likes but I think is deathly dull.

We walked round relatively quickly because what he really wanted to do was go to the shop that's attached to the museum. He spent ages looking at stuff and I said he could have something that wasn't too expensive. He kept changing his mind about what he wanted, then finally chose something.

At this point, I was desperate for a wee so I made him come to the loo with me and suggested that he have a wee too. He clearly needed one even though he said he didn't. On the way to the loo, he passed some different toys and said that he'd changed his mind again and actually he probably wanted something different, so I was getting fairly fed up with him at this point.

Two loos - I went to one, he went into the other. When he came out of the loo, I noticed he hadn't put the seat up and and had got wee on the front of the seat so I told him off about that (he knows he has to put the seat up and he wasn't desperate, so it wasn't because he hadn't had time).

I scolded him for not putting the seat up and then I went to wipe the wee off the seat, I realised that he had weed everywhere - all over the floor, over the top of the sanitary bin, up the back of the lid, etc. Basically he had not been paying any attention to what he was doing and just pissed everywhere. Now I know he's only five, but he knows how to hold his willy, he knows how to aim. The loo had run out of paper so I couldn't clean it all up so had to leave this horrible wee-covered loo for the next person. :(

WABU to have told him he couldn't have a toy any more because he had been so careless? He was really upset but it wasn't an accident, he really just couldn't be bothered to aim properly.

OP posts:
ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 14/01/2012 20:50

Yanbu

WhereMyMilk · 14/01/2012 20:52

Yes you were-he's 5 FFS! You can't just punish without any lead up. Am sure it was an accident in that he didn't actually mean to pee everywhere. Was maybe a little excited and thinking about what he wanted rather than watching his aim. :(

usualsuspect · 14/01/2012 20:54

YABU

Hes 5

Original poster
JanuaryJoan · 14/01/2012 20:55

No it wasn't deliberate wheresmymilk, but he absolutely didn't give a stuff that he'd weed everywhere. He wasn't remotely remorseful. I think it's unacceptable, I don't care how excited he is

(oh god, I'm really going to to try not to be a 'No IANBU, how very dare you' person :o)

OP posts:
WhereMyMilk · 14/01/2012 20:57

:o

hatesponge · 14/01/2012 20:57

I think it was a bit harsh tbh. Both my DSs used to go sitting down until they were well over 5 because otherwise they tended not to notice where they weed and it would go everywhere. Even now at 10 and 13 their aim is still not 100%!

Feminine · 14/01/2012 20:57

YABU ...it was an accident, sounds like he wasn't concentrating.

I think you sound very honorable though, and worried about the next visitor

hatesponge · 14/01/2012 20:58

I'm not sure either of mine would have been remorseful either...

Original poster
JanuaryJoan · 14/01/2012 21:00

It wasn't just the next visitor I was concerned about, I think a lot of it is because I used to clean toilets - in a supermarket and in a burger place. And I loathed the way that people just didn't care that another human being was going to have to clean up their piss because they couldn't be arsed to wee in the loo.

So I probably do have a bit of a thing about it. Blush

OP posts:
SecretMinceRinser · 14/01/2012 21:00

YABU.

CalmaLlamaDown · 14/01/2012 21:01

YABU sounds like a lapse in concentration as he is only 5. I always take my 4yo in same cubicle as me and we take turns, do that next time and keep an eye on him

redwineformethanks · 14/01/2012 21:03

Perhaps you could have told someone so they could clear it up

Original poster
JanuaryJoan · 14/01/2012 21:04

I did, redwine

OP posts:
TuftyFinch · 14/01/2012 21:08

YABU. Give him a break. He doesn't think like you. He didn't clean toilets in a previous job. He doesn't know it's not nice for the nest person because he's not thinking about the next person. Because he's 5. My DS is nearly 5 and while I teach him to lift the seat he sometimes forgets. It's not the end of the world though because he's 5. My DS does sometimes wee all up the wall but although I was stern about him not doing this, I can see how tempting it would be Grin.

SardineQueen · 14/01/2012 21:09

Hmm

I think YANBU

jubilee10 · 14/01/2012 21:09

My ds3 5.6 does this all the time sometimes. I mind most if I sit down on it. 5 is very young - it gets better, my teenagers only do it occasionally and dh very rarely. YABU.

Nospringflower · 14/01/2012 21:10

I can't stand piss anywhere and so can't help but go mad when my boys get pee on the floor or on the toilet. Think reading this I'm maybe a bit harsh as the youngest (and worst offender) is 7. I at least have taught them to tell me if it goes on the floor so that I don't walk in and stand in it Angry

SardineQueen · 14/01/2012 21:11

Thinking about it

Boys and men need to learn that they must hit the target.
So many don't, even grown-ups, and it's not usually them who have to clean it all up...

UserNameNotAvailable · 14/01/2012 21:11

I used to be a cleaner and hated doing the toilets especially the men's in pubs.

redwineformethanks · 14/01/2012 21:13

January Joan - glad to hear that, that was courteous. Thought you'd just left it for other people to find, which wouldn't have been very nice

Miette · 14/01/2012 21:13

I would be exasperated and I probably wouldn't have bought the toy, but i would have asked for something to clean the mess up myself rather than leaving it for someone else to do.

UserNameNotAvailable · 14/01/2012 21:14

Oh and my df always seems to piss on the floor when he's had a drink but of course he didn't do it it was ds1 who is 11 and I usually find out by standing in it in my bare feet. Bastard.

Original poster
JanuaryJoan · 14/01/2012 21:31

I should have done Miette but he was so upset that I just wanted to get him out of the place.

OK, consensus seems to be IWBU. Now the question is - should we go back tomorrow and buy him a sodding toy???

OP posts:
CalmaLlamaDown · 14/01/2012 21:34

No don't go back but do something else he likes eg swimming as a treat

DoMeDon · 14/01/2012 21:35

YANBU - he learnt a harsh lesson - sometimes they are needed - he p'd everywhere fgs - that doesn't deserve a treat. YWBU to go bck to buy him a toy the next day too.