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AIBU?

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I'm overthinking this, aren't I? Tell me to stop being over sensitive

59 replies

TongueTwisted · 14/01/2012 20:34

Over the last few months, since October I guess, DP has been having physio on his hand due to an operation he had on it in September.

He went every 3 - 4 weeks, had 5 sessions in total, all is well and was discharged completely last week.

At his sessions he had a trainee physiotherapist. A female around early 20's he guessed. Said she was nice, knew what she was doing etc. I mean, obviously I am aware that at a 30-40 minute session, they're bound to converse.

Now, I'm not jealous at all. I admittedly have low self-esteem at the minute, just some minor body issues and a loss of confidence in myself since having DS 10 months ago. Anyway, there I was the other day moaning about some old school 'friend' trying to add me on facebook (yes, sorry facebook related Blush ) who I didn't want as a friend on there when he piped up;

"Oh, that lady who did my physio sessions messaged me on there the other day"

Don't get me wrong, I don't think every woman out there is planning on stealing my DP, (even though we had problems with a particular female at the beginning of our relationship) I casually asked what she had said and he mumbled something about her mentioning they had a friend or 2 in common. I'm not one to probe for details so I joked about her trying her chances. He said 'highly unlikely, I only ever spoke about you and DS to her at the sessions'.

I didn't ask if he replied to her or if there had been an ongoing conversation. Since this was a few days ago, I feel my time has passed to ask about it.

So, should I? I know he won't cheat but I'd like to be made aware of a female attempting to poach my man!

OP posts:
somedayma · 14/01/2012 22:11

you're insane

TongueTwisted · 14/01/2012 22:18

It was purely down to him not elaborating on it, me not questioning it further and then letting it fester in my mind.

I realise I was being silly about it, thank you for the reassurances my feelings were normal. I just felt it wasn't appropriate that she messaged him and an uncertainty as to whether the messaging had progressed. I was worried if I asked and there had been more I would be deeply hurt but if it wasn't at all like that, I was worried I would look paranoid bringing it up a few days later.

I just wanted to be told to man up and sort it out before I really looked into it completely wrong. I now feel reassured he has no interest in her, has not remotely encouraged her and she has left it be.

Equilibrium restored :)

OP posts:
TongueTwisted · 14/01/2012 22:21

somedayma ... thank you for that very un helpful diagnosis Hmm

OP posts:
HowlingBitch · 14/01/2012 22:24

I'm glad to hear that, All is well :)

ashamednamechanger · 14/01/2012 22:34

Sorry OP, didn't mean to come over as such a nasty bitch. You are not mad by the way. Feeling insecure and a bit wobbly in a realationship is horrible, I know.
But, I must say that the dreaded Facebook, although not the sole cause, has definitely contributed somewhat to my marriage breakdown. Which is probably why I now hate it so much.
From what you've said, your DH sounds 100% innocent, so don't fret.

HowlingBitch · 14/01/2012 22:56

Facebook has been having the same effect for many relationships it seems although as you say not the sole cause of problems. Just another means for people that want to be unfaithful to do so, I'm sorry you're having a hard time namechanger.

TongueTwisted · 14/01/2012 23:00

ashamed ... I took no offence to your post. And I'm sorry to hear about the breakdown of your marriage :(

I know facebook can cause alot of trouble in relationships. My friend was constantly hacking into her ex's facebook and looking at his private messages. It caused one too many fights which resulted in a lack of trust and the eventual breakdown of their relationship.

So I should know full well that I should not have a lack of faith in my partner over one message on facebook. But I guess this feeling gets us all at some point.

OP posts:
ashamednamechanger · 14/01/2012 23:25

Howling, yes it does seem that Facebook has this effect on a lot of elationships. But I'm not at all sorry really. It opened my eyes to what a vacuous,easily flattered person my OH was. I just came to the conclusion that if he would rather flirt and chat up women who he barely knew on a PC than talk to his wife, then he was really just a sad twat.
So, in the end, it was a relief to get rid of him!
OP you don't need to worry about that though....your DH would not even have mentioned all this to you if he did have something to hide, so fear not!

HowlingBitch · 14/01/2012 23:49

I always think to myself, Imagine growing old with such a self serving, egotistical person whose only goal in life is to please himself.

Then imagine wasting the rest of your life with someone like that.

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