Sick of neighbors sex sounds

[LucyGoose]

This is getting me riled up and I its affecting my sleep.
I live in a condo, and the walls seem to be rather thin.

The neighbor next door, a guy who barely looks at anyone and grunts his hellos, has split from his wife (I guess they split b/c she is never around anymore).
He has a new young asian gf and her squealing and noises WAKE me up. Yes, I am a light sleeper but I am sick of this shit. To get woken up by a woman's sex voice is disconcerting, and worse, its happens all the time.

Last night it woke me up at 12:30 - she was screaming stop it! and Owww! - she sounded on the verge of tears and I guess they have some serious torture play going on, but keep it down! I can hear him say "I love it when you beg" and that type of stuff.

I almost thumped the wall b/c I was so pissed off that they woke me up AGAIN!

I am not going to leave an anonymous note, but a few loud thumps would do the trick right?

And no, they can't hear us when we do it, b/c we are v v quiet! LOL

Seriously, my husband says it would be rude to bang on the connecting wall, but I thinks its better than a note.

What say you?

Yup, have been to Torture Gdn many times (many moons ago, and in UK in which you don't seem to be). I think you can tell through a wall (assuming it's very loud and clear) the difference between sex games and sexual assault, if you have an understanding of BDSM stuff.

You seemed pretty sure it was BDSM, in which case it's a noise issue. If you've any doubt, and think it isn't consensual, then I'd also suggest ringing the police. I certainly wouldn't expect them to be sensitive or tactful about it though.

If you're a direct sort of person, then I'd suggest, as above, going round and saying "look it sounded to me like a very loud SM game, with you begging for mercy etc, but I'm a bit worried that it was for real. Are you ok?". You'd gauge a lot from her reaction, and if it was playing then maybe she'll get the message to tone it down?

OP obviously feels she has serious cause for concern. If I was in the OP's situation I would want to try to help. I didn't call anybody a rapist.

Good luck OP, I hope the problem is resolved soon.

The OP didn't say the gf had said "you're hurting me". She said "stop it" which I reckon is fairly standard silly girl sexy speak and "owww" which I really think only the OP can judge. It is just a sound, the key is the tone of her voice as she's making it.

I think if someone is being abused it sounds pretty different to sex game speak. Why the mass rape cry? Huge over-reaction In my opinion.

OP, only you know what you have heard, use your own instinct to judge it.

OK, misremembered it. Re-checked OP.

The woman was close to tears. That doesn't sound like a sex game to me...

not really sure where to start with that post Puffpants

but welcome to mumsnet anyway.

Oh, and the original post didn't demonstrate any cause for concern - just annoyance. The OP should be careful not to be too influenced by a bunch of strangers who live thousands of miles away from her partition wall.

No I tell them to go get their own.

So FabbyChic, you think making huge amounts of noise and disrupting the neigbours is ok because it's sex? What if your neighbour just played the radio full blast 24/7 would that be ok? Why do you think we have noise laws?

Giyadas, pretty sure I can say what I like, including thanks for the welcome (you're a bit late though) and feel free to put your emoticon into actual grown-up words.

i had this too, pelted the wall with all my might, didn't here them again. i was newly single and back living with my parents at the time so hearing other people having sex was most annoying!

Pants that was my take on the opening post. Being kept awake at night is more than annoying but hearing a woman on the verge of tears during sex would be cause for serious concern for me and others. IMO.

sorry didn't "hear" them again, hubbie just pointed out the typo

God yes the best thing to do if there is any chance that DV is happening on the other side of the wall, is to ignore it.

Mustn't get involved. It might not be happening after all, so it would be a waste of time and if it is happening, well, it's much better that everyone assumes it isn't and does nothing about it.

That's much the best way.

I'm very glad i don't live next door to you Fabby.
We all have Sex but we don't all wish to hear someone else's Orgasm thank you very much.

I'd go the musical route. Stick on AC/DC Highway to Hell on full blast.
Or The Black Eyed Peas Shut up (If you can bear it)

Or maybe Lily Allen Fuck you?

IS this the OPs first post by any chance?

No, PuffPants I'm 'not sure' it makes him a rapist either but if a woman's safety is in question, I'd want to make sure I'd done what I could to help.

CrabbyBigbottom as it happens I have rather a deep understanding of BDSM stuff (which I won't bore anybody with here) and I disagree - I don't think you can tell from noises through a wall whether what's going on is truly consensual or not - you can't always tell even if you're there watching it. The only people who really know are the ones doing it.

I agree, though, that the OP having a chat with her when he's not about would be a good idea.

Herp Albert

If you think that all might be well and they ARE just noisy, you could try this - it might not make them quieter, but at least it will stop you lying there waiting for them to shut up.