Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

to get DD (2) up at 4.30am five mornings a week?

101 replies

PuffofSmoke · 13/01/2012 19:10

It's either that or give up work :(

Have been doing it for 4 months now and she doesn't seem to suffer from it. Every bloody day someone (my mum, mil, sil, friends, work colleagues etc) comments about how cruel it is. :(

OP posts:

HavePatience · 14/01/2012 10:31

And Gumby, fwiw, a live in nanny's wage is actually less if full time. But still for one child FAR and away more expensive than a childminder!

HavePatience · 14/01/2012 10:31

And I must add that what I pay my cm is not a special rate. It is the going rate for cms in this area.

FootprintsInTheSnow · 14/01/2012 10:32

Don't forget: a nanny that wants to come to your house for 4.30 in the morning! That's before the tubes start running, isn;t it? I think OP should advertise in Vampire Times to find a nanny happy with those hours!

LynetteScavo · 14/01/2012 10:35

MY 2 year old used to wake me up at 5 am every morning.

Coped perfectly well when he started school.

Some children even go and live on another continent in a completely different time zone and survive.

Getting a teenager up at 4.30am....now that's cruelty.

seventieschick · 14/01/2012 10:42

Have you thought about an au pair? You basically just need someone to be the house til your dd wakes up and then until dp gets back at 11 if I've read that right. Was thinking that might work for an au pair if you have room as the still have the afternoons free and the wkend. Might be cheaper than your child are costs at the mo.

HavePatience · 14/01/2012 11:02

Do you have an extra room for an au pair, op? If you do - that's a great option. If not, obviously won't work. We don't have an extra room or would have done it.

runningwilde · 14/01/2012 13:44

Havepatience and skirzy - we are in Aibu and guess what? People are allowed different opinions. Yes, I think it is unreasonable to get a 2 year old up at 4.30am - that is MY opinion and I am entitled to
Say it. Just as you say that I don't know what kind of impact it has on the little one, neither do you. But it is far better for a toddler NOT to be woken up at such an hour and taken out of the house. This is not about having a go at the OP who is obviously doing what she can but it doesn't mean it is right for the child. It would be far better for this child not to be woken up
At such an hour and taken out of the house. Who can argue with that?!

Stick to your opinion and I shall stick to mine

Gay40 · 14/01/2012 13:59

I can't see what the problem is. It's not ideal, but what is? No one is living the perfect lifestyle, we all just have to pick up our lemons and make lemonade. The OP sounds like a reasoned caring parent who has had a look at the options, and this is the best one. Plus, at 2, most kids don't really care about the detail as long as they are well cared for and loved.

There's nothing cruel about this arrangement, the baby is getting a nice nap at lunchtime and they as a family are just having a normal family routine - it just starts 3 hours earlier than most, but presumably it ends 3 hours earlier too as they all go to bed earlier.
OP: nothing to worry about x

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 14/01/2012 14:03

OP I absolutely take my hat off to you. Ignore the naysayers, you are doing what you need to to provide for you family.

purepurple · 14/01/2012 14:13

Agree with Gay40
As the Op's DD gets older she will need less sleep anyway and should be fine to cope with school as long as she still gets enough sleep.
They could always consider getting an au-pair or a nanny to tkae her to school. That's what I did for my friend when I was 17. She had to start work at an early hour so I would go round and get her kids up for her and take them to school. I also collected them somedays too and looked after them when they were poorly.

dandelionss · 14/01/2012 14:41

i am completely bamboozled as to what the problem is.Early to bed , early to rise....

TeWihara · 14/01/2012 14:50

I just wanted to say that this is really, really normal somewhere I used to live, don't know if you work in the same field OP but you're certainly not the only one!

HavePatience · 14/01/2012 15:00

Runningwilde I WAS sticking to MY opinion just as you are to yours - no worries
I am still shocked that there is Someone out there who thinks a childminder is more expensive than a nanny for one child, though. That made me laugh

HavePatience · 14/01/2012 15:08

However, runningwilde I'd still like to know what you suggest as an alternative if op needs to work to help support her family?

I am really curious as to what you suggest.

It's not as though there are loads of jobs available at the moment - this fits in with studying and her DD gets to see loads of her and dh. But, that's only the way I see it, obviously

Original poster

PuffofSmoke · 14/01/2012 15:08

Thanks all

Good to hear different opinions.

We live very much in the middle of no where so getting anyone here that doesn't drive is impossible, so easiest to take her to child care.

Early morning occupations involve milk and bread! So think of us when your eating your breakfast!

OP posts:

AlpinePony · 14/01/2012 15:12

Yanbu, we're an early morning family here and are in bed most nights by 10. So bloody what?

As someone else said, they're simply projecting their issues. Some people don't like getting out of bed before 10, I love "the hours before dawn". :)

Northernlurker · 14/01/2012 15:53

I think it's fine atm but you all need to make a change when she's older. You sound very capable so I'm sure you'll manage that with aplomb.

runningwilde · 14/01/2012 16:19

I don't know what the alternative is havepatience as in this case it seems it is either job or no job. I was merely saying - in response to the Aibu - that yes, it is u resonable to get a LO up at 4.30am and have to take
Them out of the house. I can understand that the Op feels tied and doesn't have much choice but this will definitely need looking at when the LO starts school. I wish I had an answer as it would be far better not to wake this LO up and it is a shame that this is te only option for the op if this isnthe only suitable work and the work that best fits her circumstances.

dandelionss · 14/01/2012 17:21

'I think it's fine atm but you all need to make a change when she's older.'

why? why won't she just go to ped earlier than her peers,as she is now?

Northernlurker · 14/01/2012 17:29

Beacuse going to bed earlier than her peers won't work forever will it? If she wants to do Brownies or gym club or swimming - anything that takes place after 6pm. If she wants to have friends home from school for tea - kind of a tight fit to get everybody in and out by 5.45 and her wound down enough for bed don't you think?

Northernlurker · 14/01/2012 17:29

Sorry forgot - Parents Evening, School Plays etc

007alert · 14/01/2012 17:47

Northern Lurker op's child is 2. One step at a time. I'm sure she will tackle the problem of getting home late from brownies in about 6 years time.

OP, I think it sounds like you're doing a fab job.

What time does your dd go to bed? I wouldn't be surprised if she had as much sleep as a 2 year old who doesn't settle until 8-9 ish then gets up at 6.30. Which, from years of experience, is a completely normal situation.

fwiw, my dc get up at 5.45am every weekday, so that I can drop them at school by 8am. Haven't noticed them suffering yet, and they've been doing it for years.

Original poster

PuffofSmoke · 14/01/2012 17:56

She goes to bed at 6, that was her self made routine anyway before I started getting her up early, she is a phenomenal sleeper, I have probably only been up with her about 30 mins during the night since she was 6 weeks old Her easy nature and sunny disposition makes life much easier!

I understand people saying IABU of course I do, I wouldn't have asked if I was sure I am doing the right thing!

When she goes to school she gets the bus from here at 8am and when she goes to high school the bus leaves at 7.15am so the early starts now will stand her in good stead for later on!

OP posts:

HavePatience · 14/01/2012 18:49

OP you sound absolutely lovely bet wishes and you're doing the best possible for your DD.

HairyBeaver · 14/01/2012 18:57

Don't worry OP YANBU! I wake my DC's (7 &2) up around 5:30am as I start work at 7am. My 7 yr old hasn't suffered at all

Flip

1 2 3 4 5