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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

in asking my husband to play Words with Friends...

39 replies

Oakmaiden · 13/01/2012 13:34

This is petty, but it is making me feel a little bit blue.

My husband and I don't really do much "together". With three children and busy schedules for both of us, there is just not much time. And even when there is time, there are few things we both want to do equally much.

So anyway - we have been playing Words With Friends. Just on and off. Cos it is the sort of game we can just have a move or two when we have time, and then leave it for a few days and come back to.

We have played 3 games altogether, and are playing the 4th now. First game I won fairly well (by 50 points or so), second game I won by a bit (maybe 20 points?) and third game he won (just!). We are playing the fourth game now, and are about half way through. Now I have been really lucky this game - I have managed to get some really high scoring words (used all my letters twice, and managed a really lucky combination on a triple word score to get around 50 points another time. SO I am currently on nearly 300, whilst my husband is just over 150 (which is a respectable score for this point in the game). And he is sulking and saying he doesn't want to play anymore, because he keeps getting "crap letters".

I'm not sure what I should say/do. My inclination is to say - well, I'm winning this time because I have been lucky and have also played some words well. But sulking because of it is childish and you (he) should just get over it. I didn't say this - I just said I was sorry....

Then he made a comment about how he wouldn't enjoy playing a game if he was "thrashing" the other person. And that felt a lot like a criticism, and made me wonder if my asking him to continue to play was in fact a selfish and callous thing to do....

I dunno. I love playing word games (possibly because I tend to be quite good at them) and we used to play scrabble quite a lot when we were first married, and I had been enjoying playing partly because of that.

But it is not fair if he is going to feel grumpy about it, is it? Even if it is mostly the only thing we do together....

OP posts:
Oakmaiden · 13/01/2012 13:36

Sorry - as I say petty and self indulgent. Just wanted to grumble, really...

OP posts:
ohbugrit · 13/01/2012 13:38

Um, maybe you could play Hungry Hippos or Connect 4 instead?

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 13/01/2012 13:41

Erm...if all me and my DH could manage to do as a couple was play words with friends (which by the way I love) I would very very worried....and pissed off!!

Maybe do something where you actually have to talk...face to face!!!

However, words with friends, yeah I sometimes get shit letters so he just has to suck it up and stop being such a baby :)

coraltoes · 13/01/2012 13:43

You sound like you need to shag not play letter games.

Boomerwang · 13/01/2012 13:45

Maybe he's frustrated with it, but he is being a bit of a baby about it. My fella is a Swede, his English is fantastic, but he always loses English word games to me. He doesn't get grumpy about it, it makes him more determined than ever to learn the new words although he does raise his eyebrows at some of them - tbh we have got some mad words innit?

Tell him if he can't handle losing then it's better you don't spend much time on that kind of activity.

Oakmaiden · 13/01/2012 13:45

Oh, we do do that too, Coraltoes. Occasionally. I think that comes under the list of things he likes to do more than I do, though!

OP posts:
Kayano · 13/01/2012 13:47

The best games to play are:

Carcassonne
Ticket to Ride

That is all Grin

Oakmaiden · 13/01/2012 13:48

I'm just fed up of not being able to do things as a couple if I am better at them than him. He has to be better than me, or he whinges....

OP posts:
Oakmaiden · 13/01/2012 13:50

Ah - yes, we got Carcassone for Christmas. We played twice. My dad played too. First game my dad won by a bit - second game I won by a lot (I had figured out the whole farm thing). My husband won't play again, because he thinks the "farm thing" makes the game really unbalanced and unfair.

It is like banging my head against a brick wall...

OP posts:
OnlyANinja · 13/01/2012 13:51

YANBU to be annoyed at him being childish about not winning. If he wants to win he'll need to practise, won't he?

Oakmaiden · 13/01/2012 13:51

I really should just not play games with him, should I?

I don't have anyone else to play with, though, and I love games....

OP posts:
OnlyANinja · 13/01/2012 14:18

If you ask in Chat I'm sure plenty of MNers would be happy to play with you :)

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 13/01/2012 14:32

I'll play words with friends with you....I'm good, be warned Wink - dont go getting all stroppy if I thrash you!

valiumredhead · 13/01/2012 14:33

What is words with friends? Confused

redyam · 13/01/2012 14:36

Second carcassonne, awesome game. Search for it on iTunes.

StuckInTheFensAwayFromHome · 13/01/2012 14:47

Aside from the general communication/life issues which are the big thing here I think he is a spoilt child if he can't play and complete a game where he might be losing.

(And it frustrates me when I start a Words with Friends game - get a few good rounds in and then the opponent kills the game early rather than 'lose'. There's lots of times I am being 'stuffed' but I usually learn new words/combinations/moves from seeing what an experienced player comes up with...)

JustHecate · 13/01/2012 16:55

get some board games, turn off the pc, grab some wine and play.

Also maybe set time aside to just be together. Rent a film, have a drink and some snacks and cuddle up on the sofa.

Far better than a facebook game that you don't even sit down together and play.

ObviouslyOblivious · 13/01/2012 16:58

Come and join us on the WWF chat thread! And you can get random opponents too through the app.

Kayano · 13/01/2012 17:00

Hecate, DH and I are hosting a boardgame and wine party tomorrow night

MrsSleepy · 13/01/2012 17:00

My DH has yet to realise that I cheat at this, He just thinks I'm really smart!!! HAHAHAHAH Fool

JustHecate · 13/01/2012 17:04

That sounds fun, kayano. I'd love to do something like that.

Sadly, my husband is a boring old fart who won't play board games.

Or card games.

hurumph.

Have a great time.

I bet drunken monopoly is fun Grin

ooh, pissed up scrabble. Imagine the possibilities Grin

squeakytoy · 13/01/2012 17:05

How can you cheat at it???

JustHecate · 13/01/2012 17:17

like this

MrsSleepy · 13/01/2012 17:19

I use scrabble helper!! It's fab

MrsSleepy · 13/01/2012 17:20

www.wordplays.com/fcgi-bin/scrabble_help

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