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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel left out of a forum

40 replies

MamaMaiasaura · 12/01/2012 23:28

I know i am prob being unreasonable and hormonal too and to be fair I'm not as good at posting or keeping up but I do try to. It's an antenatal thread and everyone else seems really bonded and replies/comments eachother. Tho I do respond to their posts I rarely get acknowledged at all. In fb group when they post pics I try and make sure I look and comment. My pic gets almost ignored. In RL I don't have group as older children and therefore the timings don't work, so I guess this has upset me more than it should.

With ds2 I was part of a group on here and done of us are still in contact and it's great.

I almost didn't post this and pondered if I should say something on the thread. I know I'm silly but it feels quite like I've upset them all and really no clue how :(

OP posts:
Original poster
MamaMaiasaura · 12/01/2012 23:35

Some not done

OP posts:
MudAndGlitter · 12/01/2012 23:36

Is it baby centre? Cliquey bitches.

PinkAndPurplePirateGirl · 12/01/2012 23:39

I know how you feel! I joined a mums due board on another parenting forum 3 years ago when I was first pregnant with my youngest child. I have made one or two friends on there but on the whole it is very cliquey, with lots of bum licking. Basically unless you're prepared to creep and crawl to the alpha females of the group then you may as well not be there. They are all constantly tagging each other in facebook statuses and remembering important events and days that each other has. I used to reply lots and offer support but I never got it reciprocated so although I am still a member, I am very choosy about who I reply to now and I do keep my distance.

Original poster
MamaMaiasaura · 12/01/2012 23:41

Um no its here Blush prob should have name changed BlushBlush

They are prob not cliquey and just busy with their babies and sometimes I guess you gel and sometimes you don't.

I just feel really clumsy and like I don't belong there tho I really want to.

Also my posts back are erratic depending on RL events. So for example ds2 had some issues and was poorly so didn't post fora few days, whereas some post everyday.

OP posts:
ScaryFairy28 · 12/01/2012 23:42

I thought it was just me that was this crazy!! Grin

PinkAndPurplePirateGirl · 12/01/2012 23:43

To add, I have spoken to some other board members, who aren't in the inner clique and they all feel the same way as I do, so now I make an effort with these womens' photos and statuses on FB and they do with mine, and we reply to each others' posts on the board.

ScaryFairy28 · 12/01/2012 23:43

Yanbu but then sometimes I think iabu for feeling that way! Grin

Original poster
MamaMaiasaura · 12/01/2012 23:44

God this sounds like I'm bitching, but I'm not at all. Ad it's a thread about a thread so bad form as far as mnet goes. Fuckity fuck I cocking this right up.

I had a break from mnet for a while (ds2 broke laptop) and only returned since preg with dd do I'm probably taking it all to heart a bit.

OP posts:
PinkAndPurplePirateGirl · 12/01/2012 23:45

You don't look like you're bitching at all, but might have been a good idea to name change Wink

Original poster
MamaMaiasaura · 12/01/2012 23:45

Scary fairy Grin you are never alone (that sounds creepy lol)

OP posts:
Original poster
MamaMaiasaura · 12/01/2012 23:46

On iPhone and can't on the app. In bed bfing dd so pinned here Grin

OP posts:
RhondaRoo · 12/01/2012 23:47

I once went to a pre-natal class, i was the only mum-to-be who was a)single and b)planned section.

It's a good job they all had big noses - helped them to truly look down at me Sad

Thinking it was just 'me' I then went back after DD was born. I was the only one breastfeeding, again the only single mum - they only on co-sleeping, the only one with no routine. I swear they were the bitchiest bitch-bags on the planet.

I had to walk 2 miles home, as I rounded the corner to my mum's house (was living there at the time) my dad came and met me, all concerned, he asked "what on earth's happened?" at which point I sobbed my heart out - he said my face as I came into sight was distraught! Sad

I can't believe that I allowed people that I didn't know make me feel that bad about myself.

Take a breath, leave this forum/group and find your own niche.

I did and it worked out brilliantly - took time, but I got there.

My rule in life, 8 years on, is that the people who make you feel shit are not worth the time. Surround yourself with people who make you smile, or at the very least who don't make you cry.

Chin up Smile

ScaryFairy28 · 12/01/2012 23:47

I found the due date boards really bad unless you were on it 24/7

1Catherine1 · 12/01/2012 23:48

I felt the same on the board I used to post to. I always made a point to talk to others rather than just talk about my DD but as a lot of them seemed close geographically meet ups started and naturally they got closer.

Now I just dont bother. I have a busy RL anyway.

bigeyes · 12/01/2012 23:50

No yanbu.

I introduced to my antenatal thread late as was nervous about pregnancy and scared to chat etc, but although I didn't put the effort in that you say you have it did seem as though they were all very well established in their friendships, but then I didn't join til late.

BUT the main thing that put me off when I went back a few times was the fb thing, why need both? I thought I'd never catch up so just left it.

So I don't think Yalu after the effort you've put in, it all sounds 'involved' too re dates n tagging.....I'm planning on making rl friends at groups etc, but still lurk a lot on here, it is great for daft chat and advice.

bigeyes · 12/01/2012 23:52

Here here rhondaroo I learnt this in rl recently and have a more discerning attitude as a result.

MuslinSuit · 12/01/2012 23:52

I joined about 4 different antenatal threads on here and gave up on all of them, couldn't keep up! You do need to put a lot of time and energy into those threads, no shame in leaving them!

PinkAndPurplePirateGirl · 12/01/2012 23:53

One thing that infuriated me on the one I went on too was that there was a real ringleader woman, who would basically read others' replies, re-hash them but say exactly the same thing, and then everyone would tell her how wonderful she was and how she always gave such sterling advice.

TheSecondComing · 12/01/2012 23:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MamaMaiasaura · 12/01/2012 23:54

Pinlandpurple -thank you Smile

Scary - yes, if I was on there more I could prob force my way in Wink but no way I can unless I neglect the kids..

1Catherine You are right, more important things for sure

Rhonda - very un mnet ((hug)) Your dad sounds lovely. I did quietly giggle and "bitchiest botch-bags" Wink

OP posts:
RhondaRoo · 12/01/2012 23:57

ah, thank you mama I'm quite partial to a hug - just don't tell anyone Wink

my dad is very lovely Smile

Original poster
MamaMaiasaura · 13/01/2012 00:04

Bigeyes & muslinsuit -only just seen your replies Blush sorry wasnt ignoring. See I'm all paranoid now.

In all honesty I don't think I can keep up with thread and don't see how it's possible with 3 children.

OP posts:
Maryz · 13/01/2012 00:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MamaMaiasaura · 13/01/2012 00:06

And thesecondcoming too Blush didn't ignore u either. I think I've seen/spoken to you on other threads. I've had to name change a little whole ago as dh divulged my nn toy sister the silly arse

OP posts:
Kayano · 13/01/2012 00:07

Blush I love my ante natal thread and Facebook group but I am on MN all the time lol

I put myself about far too much

They are v fast moving though

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