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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU To Insist On Sharing?

63 replies

woopsidaisy · 12/01/2012 16:49

Hi. DS1 (7) received a DS3D from my mum for his birthday. He got Mario 3D land game for Christmas, and since the arrival of this game, DS2 (5) has wanted to borrow the DS to play this game too. We have had lots of rows!
DS1 says the DS is his, and he doesn't want his brother to use his DS. Part of me thinks fair enough, it is his, does he have to share it?
The other part of me thinks stop being so selfish and hand it over!
Gah,I'm useless at parenting-tell me what to do?!

Sorry, should have said, DS1 has never really got over having a brother,constantly says he wishes his brother wasn't around etc. When push comes to shove they get on ok, but DS1 is very high functioning autistic, and seems to have this chip on his shoulder,called his brother! Sigh...

OP posts:
DeWe · 12/01/2012 19:13

Why don't you take some of the £250 out of the bank account and buy a DSi?

I don't think he should be made to share, just from the possibity of breaking or, as osmone else said, resetting a game. Ds reset one of dd1's games. She had been saving up and had over 100 000 000 points which she was preparing to use shortly. She was very kind about it, but obviously very disappointed.

Seona1973 · 12/01/2012 20:02

did your other ds get money instead? Why not use that to get his own console and then they can play their own games and not fight over them

Lueji · 12/01/2012 20:26

Would it be possible to agree to share rules with your DS1?

For example, after he has had at least 30 min of it, or even the 60 min, and DS2 only for 5 or 10 min?

So, not when DS2 pleases, but at DS1 convenience and then if DS2 is still interested.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 12/01/2012 20:39

YABU.

Sharing's over rated at times, if he's that bothered get him one with his crimbo money and turn off the 3d via parent lock

Original poster
woopsidaisy · 12/01/2012 20:57

OK, have spoken to DS1, told him he doesn't have to share, but I hope he will let DS2 have the occasional go on it.
I think we will talk about getting DS2 a second hand DS for his birthday, which is coming up-not sure if he would look after it 100%, so second hand for now.
Thanks for all the advice!

OP posts:
Original poster
woopsidaisy · 12/01/2012 21:00

Sorry, should have clarified, DS1 had birthday a few months ago, Granny bought him 3dDS. DS2 will get something for his birthday which is coming up soonish.

OP posts:
MCos · 12/01/2012 23:28

I don't think he should have to share either. But obviously not flaunt it either.

My DSIL advised me to buy DSi for both DDs at same time (6 and 4 at the time), because her experience was that DD2 would pester the life out of DD1 for a 'go'. I took her advise and it turned out great for us. They were both birthday gifts, DD2 opted to wait 3 months for hers so both of them could get them at same time (on DD2's birthday). They can also have alot of fun playing on them together.

If you can afford it, get a DSi for DS2.

PinkAndPurplePirateGirl · 13/01/2012 00:03

No I don't think you should make him share if he doesn't want to. I'm assuming your other DS got presents for Xmas too that he can play with? It won't do DS2 any harm to learn he can't always have/do what he wants

Boomerwang · 13/01/2012 07:57

It's hard to share even if you are fully aware of the reasons why it's seen as a good thing to do for others. It's like someone giving you a slice of cake and then taking the plate off you when you're half done to give it to someone else. If the slice was divided before it was dished out it's easier to bear. I guess that means a token present for the other child is in order, a more age appropriate one, and vice versa on the other child's birthday until they are older.

Only you know if this will be acceptable to your autistic child because the attachment to an object can go much deeper than a simple refusal to share.

Boomerwang · 13/01/2012 07:58

Incidentally my brother's two kids ( 5 and 3 - too young?) were given a DSi each for Xmas so they wouldn't fight over one... now one of them has lost the pokey stick and they fight over the use of the remaining stick. Hmm

Seona1973 · 13/01/2012 08:23

we buy spares - have bought a 9 pack of styli (is that the plural of stylus?) for the 3DS as ds lost his in the car and we cant find it

hocuspontas · 13/01/2012 08:35

Sharing is a horrible word! In our house the owner is asked if someone can borrow their item for a short while. Up to the owner to say yes or no. When they were very young I did sometimes step in and 'help' the owner see reason if they were being particularly mean, but mostly this has worked.

CrunchyFrog · 13/01/2012 08:36

DS1 has a 3DS. I am well over 7, but I used it for 2 minutes and had to lie down because of the nausea/ spinning room/ general weirdness. It's not nice.

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