To want my DP to be a better lover

[InappropriateCrushes]

He's lovely in so many ways, I love him and am happy with him. It's just the passion is lacking. It has never been there for me TBH. I was attracted to his kindness and we got on so well as friends and just clicked. I've had other passionate relationships that have not been right for other reasons.

I know it takes two to tango and perhaps I should work at it more, but I don't think he could change as he is not confident in the bedroom department. I mean, he would never throw me against the wall, rip my clothes off and shag me senseless, and even if I asked him to, I think we would end up laughing cos it's just not 'us'. He often asks if 'he's doing it right', and comes too quickly every time.

Im particularly struggling with this at the moment as I have a HUGE crush on someone I should not have a huge crush on and its driving me mad because I want him so bad, sexually.

Any advice please!?

I could have written your post last week. Apart from the not fancying bit because i always have and the crush.

I've been with my DP for 7 years and in the beginning it was great. Over the years our sex life had become very much one sided with DP getting his every desire catered for and me getting nothing in return.

It ended in a big argument last weekend when he wanted me to spend approximately 2 hours pleasing him. I should point out that this 2hrs was a fortnightly occurance for years with me getting a quick cursory shag the next weekend.

It all go too much and blew my top and told him exactly how i felt. He was shocked i felt that way and hadn't said anything for so long. It's not the easiest thing to say but i'm so glad i did. He's been completely different this past week and is making a massive effort to please me for once. In fact i'm looking forward to tonight.

Well played Super. Just proving what I posted yesterday. Ooh, it feels lovely being right.

I've been there, and separated with 'lack of passion' being one of the reasons. I recall quoting to my ex something from the trash book I was reading at the time, written by a single woman, (similar to diary of a call girl)' when I have kids, and they are tucked up in bed upstairs, I want a man who will throw me over the kitchen table and fuck me senseless'

Clearly, she was single and hAd not had children, and for me realising this is not what happens when you have children, or certainly not on a Monday night (or does it )

Anyway, I was single (mum) for a while, and in weekends when ex had the DS had some passion fuelled sex, yes it was fun, but ultimatley pointless, I wasnt ready to enter a serious relationship, as like you I still cared for my now 'ex' Now I realise I was craving the pre child lust we had, and also wanting to still feel desired sexually.

Anyway - ex and I worked things out, what I have realised is it's a deep love that outweighs any sexual fling, that's easy, love and children are irreplaceable.