to be annoyed a family member has texted to say theyre only doing birthday and christmas presents for children?

[StealthPolarBear]

Because she had the sense and the nerve to say what I've been wanting to say for years? :o now if I can only get the rest of he family to o the same

As in, for children only, not adults? She's a MNtter. Betcha.

Well someone had to say it!!!

(and at least it was someone else so if someone else disagrees with the new policy you can always blame that family member for introducing it!!)

YABU . We've done this in our family for the last few years. Upahill has it right, too.

Me and my sister did this at Christmas for the first time - children only. Then she bought me a bloody present anyway 'from the children'. FFS. I didn't get her anything - but I still felt a bit Nuts.

Good timing - not too much chance that you'll have already bought next year's Christmas presents!

That's part of the problem moaning. We have 2 children. Textee has none and her brother has one. So if we buy 'only for children ' its just ours. So wed probably get them something FROM the kids, until they have children themselves

Bit that's not so easy to spell out!

Good for her. I've been trying to pluck up the courage to say that to my family for years.

I know I never will we are doomed to years of everyone spending money they can't afford on presents no one really wants or needs.

I know :( right, the words I need to use are 'presents for and from the children only'. Wonder if that could apply to grandparents too?

How do I not sound really ungrateful?

Lol. We have a twentybquid limit too.

Often don't even buy. Just swap a notional sum of money and parents buy

DP and I are the only ones without DC in his family and we all have this rule. I'm happy with it. Its a bit shit that we have to buy gifts for everyones kids and get nothing in return, but rather than than have to buy token gifts for all the adults too and get token gifts in return

We do this. Dh embarrassed me by telling his brother this is what we were doing BEFORE they had children, so essentially 'you buy our kids something and we'll get you fuck all'. I was mortified and insisted we buy something for the baby they had in utero.

Me and my siblings are supposed to do presents for the kids only.
Everyone is happy with that. I have two DS, my sister has one child my brother has none.

At least I thought that we were all happy with that until this conversation happened

mum ' what did you buy John for Christmas?'
Me ' nothing'
mum ' NOTHING??!!'
me ' NO, I didn't get him anything?'
MUM (nearly passing out now) ' Why not? He bought for your two? You should have bought him something'
Me ' if he had kids I would have bought for them, but he hasn't and that is the deal'
MUM ' arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhh'
Me ' arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhh'

Me and brother talking
Me ' Thanks for the boys pressie, they will be sending an email to you., Sorry I didn't get you anything

Brother ' you're not supposed to , we only buy for the kids!'

We do this, and have done for several years. Its a great relief financially. In my family, we do do secret santa as well though. Names in a hat, one each, £20 max spend.

We are an even match, we have 2 DCs each, similar ages. But I know she will be grumbling about no present, even though it was her idea. Not even mentioning the individual cards cards for niece, nephew, aunt etc that she bought, but received a 'to all of you card' in return

We do this now. I was the one who was brave enough to suggest it.

I used the (genuine) reasoning of how stressed & overworked we all were with very little free time and it was just an additional pressure getting presents for the adults. By not exchanging gifts with adults - we would each have spare money to spend on ourselves and get the things we really wanted

My sister was a little unsure at first but now we are all reaping the benefits.

Christmas this year was SO much easier. Buying for children is fun. Buying for Adults - not so much.

We do this, my 2 siblings both have dcs too though so pretty even.

We do this in our family. And DP and I don't have children. It never occurred to me to get upset about it, surely you don't give a present to a 2 year old in order to get something in return? And you give the present to the child, not the parents, so they should feel no obligation to buy you something. Not that presents should work that way anyway!

DPs family insist on buying each other 'proper' presents, which means a slightly silly ritual of exchanging unnecessary stuff that no one really wants. MIL/SIL cannot be persuaded to give it up though.

I think it's a good idea. Saves all the grown ups getting loads of token gifts that they don't want/need/like, with the money they save they could treat themselves to something they do want/need/like.

Hmm so even the ones who don't have children think this is a good idea.
My cousins are the main ones I'm thinking of. They are our children's godparents and spoil them which is lovely. They also buy gifts for dh and me. I never know what to get them, so its wine and chocs. Wine and choxs seems less of a problem when its a token from the dc. And its not the money, but the effort. Also agree that buying for dc is fun or at least easier than buying for other adults.

we do presents for kids only except for my brother as he has no partner or children. We do get him something as he would end up with nothing from anybody which is hardly fair if he has bought for everyone else's children

Right. Definitely going to suggest this. Thanks everyone. We"ll buy for them until they have children which will hopefully be soon xx

Just saw this thread - my own - in active conversations and thought ungrateful cow

Why the kisses? In my mind I was texting her back