Is mil being unreasonable here or am I?

[ricstejon]

My birthday at the weekend. Mil insisted on taking me to shops to buy a gift. Nothing I really need or can't get myself so I picked something that I fancied i.e. a pair of shoes in a well-known shop.
Presented shoes to mil (well within her price range btw) thinking that she'd say 'OK, let's go to counter and pay'. Instead she announced loudly 'God, they're horrible. I'm not getting them!'
I just left the shop mortified to be honest. My dh told her her behaviour was not on-she responded with: 'Oh have I upset her then?'.
I'm afraid I was very cold with her rest of the day. I can't help it. I still feel cold towards her. I don't know if IABU or not, but it is bugging me.
This is NOT about the shoes, btw, just really peed off at her behaviour.

Yanbu.

Can you link to the shoes?

YANBU - she was taking you to the shop to buy a gift and she should have let you have what you wanted!!! She shoulds like hard work TBH but dont let it get to you, in the scheme of things it aint that important.

YANBU. Your MIL doesn't have to wear the shoes and even if they were eye-wateringly hideous (which I'm sure they are not), her part of the bargain was to buy them, wish you well wearing them and shut up!

sounds like hard work that should read!

Really does depend on the shoes - sorry!

at ChaosTrulyReigns.

YANBU. If MIL didn't want you choosing your own gift she should have gone and bought something for you on her own.

Yanbu. She is.

I think I would tell her not to bother buying anything if she can't buy something i've actually chosen but I am stroppy and childish

YANBU. Her attitude is a bit odd! If I were you I would simply leave it now and not mention it again, if she still wants to get you a present then I'd suggest she either gives you some money or vouchers rather than risk another abortive and annoying shopping trip.

Yes, Beamur, or just tell her -if I am asked again- to buy whatever she fancies. I know one thing, though, I am NEVER going to go present-shopping with her offering to buy me something again!.
I don't think I am being unreasonable there.
Thanks, people, as suspected, she is being unreasonable.

Agree with Chaos. We need to see the shoes before we can judge your taste decide if she was being unreasonable in refusing to buy them

Yanbu. She behaved like a cow.

Did you chose a birthday present in the end?

If it was me, I would not chose any gift after that embarrassment. And if she brings it up again I think I would just say "Actually, I think us grown ups dont really need birthday presents, cards will be nice in future, dont you think?"

No, you're not being unreasonable. Why offer and then behave like that??

No, I couldn't be asked afterwards. She can keep her present. No matter. General consensus is that she is being unreasonable. Gotta get back to work. Ta all.

Chicken.

Shoes Shoes Shoes Shoes... Link us up OP - none of this getting back to work nonsense.

Was it these clodhoppers OP?

God that's really insulting. Basically she was saying "Happy Birthday, you have horrible taste, so horrible I won't even buy the shoes for you, oh and forget about getting a present, and that's all due to your horrible taste!" Bitch.

at ViviPru

She treated you like a child.

Damn right give her the cold shoulder and if she brings it up again, just give a tight smile and say- I think we're done with the gift idea, don't you?

I think this might be a sign I've been hanging round AIBU too long, did exactly the same thing happen last year on your birthday or was that someone else?

YANBU. But I really would like to see the shoes...

OP - Are you InStropWithMil again? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1191615-AIBU-to-think-that-my-MIL-was-way-way-out-of-order-about-this-and-I-deserve-an-apology

Oooh ViVi they're lovely

blatantly lying

I am torn

If I went shopping with my mum I would actually Hope that she would give me honest opinions because I am confident enough to take it on board and say, nah I still love them' and get on with it.

It depends on the relationship and if she thought she could be honest and go to other shops etc