to think they should cut out the baby talk?

[Listzilla]

Please don't kill me, I'm perfectly willing to accept it if I am BU due to the fog of late pregnancy exhaustion and hormones, so try and be nice

My parents mind DD for two days a week while I'm in work; she spends my other 3 work days in creche and the weekends with us.

Lately we've been having confused moments with her, where she's insisting on using words other than the ones she used to use; a sheep, for example, is now being referred to as a 'bala', and we seem to have lost chicken, cow and a good few others as well.

It turns out that my mum is calling a sheep a 'baa-lamb', a deer a 'bambi', and a chicken a 'cockadoodledoo', and other things along the same lines; not just animals, but food and things as well.

I know it's probably unreasonable and petty of me, but it's annoying me a bit that we're teaching her the right words for things, and she's ending up using made-up versions that we don't always understand. I'm loving that she's starting to be able to ask for things she wants now, and it's no use to anyone if she's asking and asking for something and we haven't a clue what she's saying because she's using a word that we don't recognise. Given that she spends time with three different sets of minders during the week, it seems obvious to me that we should all call things by their actual names so the others have some chance of working out what she's saying!

I've asked a few times but it seems to be happening more and more, and I'm reluctant to keep labouring the point if I'm just being silly. I know that their time with her is theirs, and I don't interfere if I can help it, but it really would make life a bit more straightforward for us if they'd stick to our approach! And to be honest, I just don't like her using baby versions of words when she's perfectly well able for the real ones. I can't shake the feeling that if that's the way we want to parent (and we both do, most emphatically!), then that's the way it should be done.

Go on then, pass the biscuits : )

I also used to get irritated by this but after a while, DS just used the words I taught him.

I really don't think it's worth stressing yourself about and I certainly wouldn't say anything to your mum. Choose your battles wisely with someone who is providing (I assume) free childcare! :o

I know, some things just aren't worth fighting over, but for us it's the wrong way around - she used to use our words but now she's moving over to theirs and they don't make sense to us!

In the nicest possible way, YABU, so breeeeathe. It's annoying I know, baby talk makes me retch, but it's not the end of the world. It's not like she will persist in using these words as an adult. You are so very lucky to have your parents involved in raising and loving your DD. Maybe you could tell lie them how she had a massive tantrum (crying hysterically and made herself sick from the upset of it all) when you couldn't understand what she was saying (because she was calling a yoghurt a doggie (??????? WTF?? Thanks Dad)

How old is she? DS did this off his own bat for a while - dog became woof - and only just coming back to the right words now. He really like sounds though, so may be particular to him!

Not being able to understand her is probably the thing to focus on, rather than the 'babyish' nature of your Mum's terms. Maybe one of them will grow out of it soon!

She's 18 months. I've heard mum showing her things in books and that's definitely where it's coming from!

It is true though that she won't be doing it as an adult. Thanks for that! It is sometimes hard to keep these things in perspective but I put a lot of work into training myself to believe 'it's just a phase!' about her sleeping problems, so I suppose I could chuck this under that heading and forget about it : ) At least no-one is actually causing the sleeping problems though...

Take no notice of it, OP. I don't like it either but your daughter will learn the proper words and use them - I've yet to hear a ten year old refer to a 'horsey' or a 'woof-woof'...

Eventually you'll understand the silly made up talk and can then say "that's what Grandma calls it, but actually it's a sheep etc". If you hear it said I'd correct it there and then. If it's your Mum, then presumably she did the same with you and you turned out OK.
My DPs Mum does this we say "Shall I do this for you?" she says "Shall Grandma do this for DD1". If I hear her I correct immediately e.g. "Yes, that's a great idea for Grandma to do it for you", if I'm not there it doesn't bother me. They're also called Babbas there when DD1 is 4 and DD2 is 2. I always correct that too.

I feel your pain! My mother in law talks to my children 5 and 2 like they are babies, it makes me cringe everytime I hear her speak to them. I have always spoken to mine using proper words and a normal tone of voice, I feel like they act how you treat them, I can see a change in my 5 year old the second she starts to talk to her, it's like she regresses. We have asked her to stop but she doesn't take any notice. Thankfully only see her every few months.

I don't think it is unreasonable to expect people to treat your children how you want them to but as a previouse poster pointed out she is providing child care and you wouldn't want to rock the boat, I say tread carefully.

your mother cares for your child the same amount of time as you do

its up to her what vocabulary she uses

Fwiw baby talk isn't at all damaging. On the contrary it is good for babies and young children.
So by all means be irritated that she is using different words to yours.
But she may actually be helping your dd in the long term so I wouldn't worry about it.

I would also be wary of correcting a young childs speech. A hearty, vibrant, confident use of language flourishes through Ferlinghetti that all the sounds and words are fun to use and explore. Starting to correct a child can just build nervousness and a fear of getting it wrong.

Just bite your lip, use the words you want to and trust that your child will figure it out.

Having a child with huge speech issues and another child who has won prizes for English and is doing an English degree at a top 10 uni has made me a bit soap boxy

Hahaha
Ferlinghetti

Feeling

I know how it feels also! DS is 2.2 and I still have to bite my tongue when my mum comes out with some ridiculous words like cuggie for cuddle. He's an excellent talker though so I don't worry too much. And if he does happen to come out with a weird term for something I just correct him. Luckily he listens to me more than her but he also recognises that there are a few words meaning the same thing (like biccie, biscuit, cookie)

YANBU. I can't bear baby talk. What is the point of teaching a child baa and then having to say actually it's not called a baa it's called a sheep? Just because you'd mother helps with childcare that does not mean you gave to tolerate any old crap she does. Ask her to stop it.

What Pag said ^^

There is so much evidence that baby talk is good for babies speech patterns and definately agree, never 'correct' a word that a child says, just repeat it back correctly instead.

loosy, in fairness, she doesn't, she does do two full days a week but we do the evenings and mornings of the days she has her, we've done the multiple night wakings every night of her life, we have her when she's sick. It couldn't be further from the joint custody arrangement you're implying it is.

I did point out in my original post that the time they spend together is not mine to interfere with, but we're still her parents.

My DGS. age 2.5 got confused with different minders using different words so we told him that most things have 2 names.He's learnt quite quickly that baa lambs are sheep my cat is called Jane and not just rat as he fondly calls her, Mummy is Naomi aswell as mummy,Grandma is Maras etc.It seems to work and has increased his vocabulary without upsetting anyone.DD. is happy with this and knows that as his care is shared 3 ways it's best to find a compromise.

Dammit Euphemia. I should have tried to get away with that

Never correct small childrens speech.

Take it out of her wages?

I'm Spanish and Italian speaker and i was wondering what 'Ferlinghetti' means, sounds Latin

If your child is still saying "baalamb" when he is 15 then you have a problem.
He won't be. There is no problem.
Anything that gets children forming sounds is good.

my DS has 2 words for a lot of things (he's 2.3) - so it sometimes has to be translated for his CM that 'boda' means water, and 'coon' (seriously) means horse (as does wossy at the moment, not sure why!). this is because DH is only speaking to DS in his native language (in which 'voda' means water, and 'kun' means horse), so DS is learning 2 ways to say everything. I wouldn't worry about it myself - it's not going to be forever in your case, and it's quite cute to hear them trying to communicate in what sounds like another language..

obviously we are actually encouraging the use of a second language here, whereas you won't be - but really, don't worry, and enjoy the toddler gibberish whilst you can

(Although when DS started telling our lovely CM all about the 'big black coon' he had seen, I was mortified so we are encouraging him to call horses horses for now!)