to think they should cut out the baby talk?

[Listzilla]

Please don't kill me, I'm perfectly willing to accept it if I am BU due to the fog of late pregnancy exhaustion and hormones, so try and be nice

My parents mind DD for two days a week while I'm in work; she spends my other 3 work days in creche and the weekends with us.

Lately we've been having confused moments with her, where she's insisting on using words other than the ones she used to use; a sheep, for example, is now being referred to as a 'bala', and we seem to have lost chicken, cow and a good few others as well.

It turns out that my mum is calling a sheep a 'baa-lamb', a deer a 'bambi', and a chicken a 'cockadoodledoo', and other things along the same lines; not just animals, but food and things as well.

I know it's probably unreasonable and petty of me, but it's annoying me a bit that we're teaching her the right words for things, and she's ending up using made-up versions that we don't always understand. I'm loving that she's starting to be able to ask for things she wants now, and it's no use to anyone if she's asking and asking for something and we haven't a clue what she's saying because she's using a word that we don't recognise. Given that she spends time with three different sets of minders during the week, it seems obvious to me that we should all call things by their actual names so the others have some chance of working out what she's saying!

I've asked a few times but it seems to be happening more and more, and I'm reluctant to keep labouring the point if I'm just being silly. I know that their time with her is theirs, and I don't interfere if I can help it, but it really would make life a bit more straightforward for us if they'd stick to our approach! And to be honest, I just don't like her using baby versions of words when she's perfectly well able for the real ones. I can't shake the feeling that if that's the way we want to parent (and we both do, most emphatically!), then that's the way it should be done.

Go on then, pass the biscuits : )

my mum started saying 'one, two, freeeee' to my son and MIL does lots of baby talk on skype. I don't particularly like it but I slip into it too so can't complain.

loving the suggestion that you take it out of her wages!

Think of it this way, your DD is learning that language is a varied and interesting thing and your mum is using some of the many ways we can use words and sounds to communicate and be creative.

Pag, thanks, the soap boxing is no problem, I've as much learning to do as DD does : ) In fact, if you want to do any more, feel free, it sounds like I'd like to hear it!

I don't correct DD, after all she's not wrong when that's what she's been taught and I don't want to knock her confidence and joy in learning. I just use the right words when referring to things myself in the hope that they might stick!

It's definitely not causing her problems, just us, so I suppose I should just ignore it. She's coming on fantastically, she's started reeling off words that rhyme now (though some of them are made up!) - it's such a fascinating stage, this, when they're learning the basics of language. I love it : )

Euphemia: loving wallaby

If your DM was speaking French to your DD she would soon learn to switch easily between English and French. The same will happen to the baby talk. She'll soon realise that your DM has her own weird baby language and she'll start using it only (rather patronisingly) with her and your DM will start feeling a bit silly

Health visitor told me that 'baby talk' actually helps babies learn language earlier. I was feeling embarrassed about instinctively talking a lot in an incoherent and stupid way to mine, when most people I know ignore their babies unless crying. They subsequently went on to speak in full sentences before the age of two and older one is in 'enrichment programmes' for pretty much everything except PE at school due to being A CHILD GENIURS. Have since read things supporting HV's argument for baby-talk in psych journals. So you're being completely unreasonable, sorry, it's actually good for babies.

Can I just add that IME a lot of 'babytalk' originates from things children say naturally anyway - eg I have never ever used 'ta', but DS1's first word for thankyou was 'da' which evolved to 'ta'. Similarly we always say 'grandma' but he says 'nanna'. And we have started saying 'doggy' and 'horsey' to him because he can say that and otherwise he calls them a 'doh' and a 'hoh' which is more confusing.

yes it is annoying when she has already got the proper words but think of it as a 2nd language.

my dd is now 8 but my 'useless' DP (only in this case) insists on saying 'look at the little dog' when the fecker is a huge great dane. No wonder she is anxious of dogs.... he had me going looking on the ground for a yorkshire terrier and coming eyeball to eyeball with a dog that belongs in a circus!

There is lots of research evidence to show that baby talk and the sing song voice is good for speech development.

Listzilla
Phew

That all sounds good I think. She is hearing loads of different words and different uses of language. All good.

WibblyBibble, we've had some full sentences. Bizarrely, the other day I heard 'Mama, wha's dat? Is it a piece of paper?' which made me wonder if I was hallucinating. We also hear 'mama, rosie read a good bookie' regularly when she wants someone to read with her.

Whatever about my opinions on the whole thing, it's not holding her back!

Pag, could you link me in the direction of the stuff I clearly need to know? She's such a wordy little person, I'd love to know more about how it works.

My ds2 is 15 and my youngest is 9 now so I would have to dig around.

When ds2 lost all his speech at 2 I eventually got him in to a specialist nursery. Most of the 'sing/baby talk/ don't correct/ don't ask questions' came from there. The difference was staggering.

I will try and remember

I refuse point blank to say "windy pop" (burp) or "bottom burp" (fart) as DH, his ex and MIL seem to prefer. If only for the utter nonsense of burp being permitted when related to a fart but not as an actual burp.

The boys have started saying burp and fart now as it's quicker. It's not like they're swear words, why the cringey idiot speak?

Don't ask questions?! That's a strange one!

No no. It's not strange for a child who has speech problems.

When a child struggles to speak one can start to ask questions a lot to try and provoke speech/conversation. But all it does is raise the frustration level.
So instead talking to a child, giving spaces to allow them to answer/comment/acknowledge and modelling loads and loads of good vocal and appropriate speech is the way to go.

The next time you are around anyone who has any concerns that their child should be speaking more, or even that their child should be showing the world what a genius they are, watch how they just fire a stream of questions.
It is the default setting of the performance parent..
'look darling can you see the ducks, the ducks are lovely aren't they, we read that book about ducks didn't we, can you say ducks, can you remember what the word for ducks was in Latin...."

Nothing more certain to make a child stressed.

Ah, I see. Makes sense, both that you'd try to ask questions to encourage them, and that it's the wrong approach entirely.

I think your expectation that you're able to understand what your toddler is saying is quite high. Even without the DGP factor, I suspect that a lot of what many toddlers are saying is passing the parents by! Just keep listening...

DS1 is speech delayed and we've been seeing a SALT for 2 years. PAG is spot on.

It's hard to incorporate, but I would be the best children's TV presenter now. It's a bit like narrating and commenting on everything in short 2 - 3 word sentences, but not asking questions. Almost talk in the next stage on for the child (so when they say 1 word sentences, talk in 2 word sentences. When they say 2 word sentences, talk in 3 word sentences).

Mind you, DS2 is 21 months and only says a handful of words, so guessing we'll be seeing the SALT again for him in 6 months or so . The people in the Tesco queue gave me the weirdest look when I almost jumped for joy when DS2 pointed to a car picture on a leaflet and said 'car' the other day for the first time.

we've been seeing, ds1 has been seeing. mind you, sometimes it felt like therapy for us!

PAG PAG OVERHERE

Sorry just wanted to ask a speech related question that is off the topic and is a blatant thread steal - sorry!

DD is 4 and has always had lots of baby words that have now changed into the proper words (so still slightly on topic here )

However she has started to lisp her "s" but only at the end of words - she doesn't lisp saying snake and I know she can say the "s" but she chooses not to I think Help me as it is bugging me

Sorry Figgy, not sure - Although I know that ds2 will react differently to a letter depending on where it falls so she may have a genuine trickiness over s at the end.

Why not shout out under the sen section for speech therapists? I know there are a few on here. I am sure someone will know.

I can understand the baby talk thing and sing song tone where you might say doggy instead of dog so they pick up the g sound at the end of the word, but have never got why some people use completely different or made up words for something e.g. "goggers" for ducks.

I just don't get why that would make it easier for a child to learn or to be understood by others.

*I can understand the baby talk thing and sing song tone where you might say doggy instead of dog so they pick up the g sound at the end of the word, but have never got why some people use completely different or made up words for something e.g. "goggers" for ducks.

I just don't get why that would make it easier for a child to learn or to be understood by others.*

Or 'bambi' for a deer. I know it's not made-up, exactly, but WHY?!

Hmmm, thats interesting.
I guess the thing is that you are looking at it from the position that a toddler needs to collect accurate words.
I tend to think that a toddler needs to learn to enjoy communication and sound and words. That's what nursery rhymes were all about. If you think about most of them they make no sense, neither do sone lullabies. But the sounds, the rhythm the flow of communication feels good and comforting so they want to do it. And the key to a child that talks well and absorbs language is mire likely to be one for whom language is about fun and joy and love?

Calling elephants dumbo or Nellie is just playing. Does it matter as long as they hear the right word sometimes too?

But that may all be bollocks

It's funny, I quite like all the gobbledegook. Dd2 was a really early talker, and there was a real mish mash of real words and made up stuff and baa lambs and geegees etc. Now she is nearly 5 and seems to make up words just for her own pleasure, like 'puddence' for pudding.

Ds is 18 months and has delays in all areas, he sees a SALT and she is a big fan of using animal sounds for animals, and words that move the mouth and tongue around, and sounds like 'squoosh' and 'squelch', she also recommends sing song voice and simple one word descriptions.