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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to be worried that son is sick, but worried about job

68 replies

lisaleelu · 08/01/2012 19:20

Oh I have just felt my stomach heave at the thought of having to call work and tell them I need time off coz my 3 year son is sick. He has just come out in spots and clearly has chicken pox. I feel like a bad mum became I am not really bothered he is ill. I know I should be but I just feel sick myself at the reaction from work. I was off for one day last june coz my 1 year old was sick and they were so horrible.

It says on the the web that you cant send them to nursery until the spots crust over and that could be a week. OMG work will have a fit.

I have absolutely no-one else to mind him and then if the baby gets it that could be longer. DH could have some time off but he has already had a week of just last week as his mum was really sick.

I feel so stressed.

OP posts:
Original poster
lisaleelu · 08/01/2012 19:49

Emergency Nanny?? Really. I dont leave in lancashire - I have never heard of anything like that. Obviouly the issue of leaving a sick child with a stranger and the cost would be an issue. But it is something i would consider.

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 08/01/2012 19:50

I've been paid for absence owing to child illness. A few days is not an issue here.

LadySybilDeChocolate · 08/01/2012 19:51

It's like that everywhere ATUA, it's always the mums who take time off. It's unfair and a question that belongs in the feminist section.

Original poster
lisaleelu · 08/01/2012 19:52

Well as said in my case it is not always the mum. Nursery have called dh twice since sept when kids ill - as he is the one that has come home.

OP posts:
Hulababy · 08/01/2012 19:53

Have worked as a teacher and a TA and have never yet had my pay docked for time off when DD has been sick. Check with school, but I am sure the teachers pay and conditions gives you some paid time off and some unpaid.

Original poster
lisaleelu · 08/01/2012 19:55

I really dont mind if i have my pay docked. In fact I would prefer not to be paid and have people be nice. Well head of department will be nice but senior staff will be horrible.

OP posts:
ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 08/01/2012 19:58

New job> Your SLT sound awful!

Original poster
lisaleelu · 08/01/2012 20:01

Not really the economic climate for new jobs

OP posts:
Original poster
lisaleelu · 08/01/2012 20:03

Can anyone advise me how long till nursery will take them. From what i have read i am thinking a week - assuming ds 2 does not get it . ??

OP posts:
Runoutofideas · 08/01/2012 20:04

lisaleelu - If you happen to be in Bristol - I'd look after him for you. I'm a mum of 2 and experienced nanny, and my 2 have had chicken pox....Doubt you are local though!

kelly2525 · 08/01/2012 20:04

Can you not lie?

Ring in sick, tell them you have the trots, throwing up, temp etc, they wouldnt want you in work

Gumby · 08/01/2012 20:05

Just ask for unpaid leave

Original poster
lisaleelu · 08/01/2012 20:06

Oh god they are worse if you actually dare to be sick yourself - no best to honest i think - i am rubbish at lying anyway - would slip up.

OP posts:
ILoveSanta · 08/01/2012 20:09

Omg your school sounds awful.
I am a teacher in a secondary school and had to have four days off in November when my DS was I'll. The nursery (which is next door!) rang the school, an assistant head covered the rest of my lesso for me and I went straight off to get my DS.
When I came back everyone was lovely. And do you know what, the school actually managed to function without me!

I however sat at home feeling guilty for letting my colleagues down. Crazy!

And I got paid for it as well.

Tanith · 08/01/2012 20:15

The HSA guidelines say exclusion for 5 days after the appearance of spots. They're most contagious before the spots arrive.
I would check with your nursery, though. Obviously, if your son is very ill, you won't be able to go back until he's better.

Original poster
lisaleelu · 08/01/2012 20:15

We have cover supervisors that can cover for 3 days - I work pt 3 days a weeks so can cover this week.

So really they have no reason to be horrible. - but i was in tears after the back to work interview in jume. I was made to feel like i was lying. The deputy then pulled out my absence record and said I had had 3 periods off sick/ compassionate leave in a year. I wasd shocked as i did not recall this. I went away and checked my planner and whilst i have been off sick once the other date i was out of school on a trip. I let her know - she just told me she would update the records - absolutely no apology.

OP posts:
JugglingWithSnowballs · 08/01/2012 20:24

Hope it works out OK lisaleelu
It's good you're not worried about DS

  • I'm sure you're right and he'll be fine.
Work can be very stressy I think - schools can be pretty bad for that I think Smile
wannabestressfree · 08/01/2012 20:24

I feel your pain I am a secondary school teacher and had my pay docked for the two occasions I had to go and see my son in emergency situations because he had attempted to take his own life........ in a psych hospital!!

And they knew the situation........ next time I will lie.

gitinora · 08/01/2012 20:26

If it makes you feel any better i am in a similar situation, due to return to work tomorrow after over a year on mat leave and ds has high temp and is covered in a rash.
So will have to phone in work tomorrow which i am sure will not go down well as have no other childcare other than nursery who will not have him with a rash. Plus he is too poorly and wants his mum :(

Appuskidu · 08/01/2012 20:36

*If it makes you feel any better i am in a similar situation, due to return to work tomorrow after over a year on mat leave and ds has high temp and is covered in a rash.
So will have to phone in work tomorrow which i am sure will not go down well as have no other childcare other than nursery who will not have him with a rash. Plus he is too poorly and wants his mum *

Is there nobody you could have told today (tonight?)? Our SMT would much rather recieve a text the day before if you know you're not going to be back!

Original poster
lisaleelu · 08/01/2012 20:36

oh it is all just so horrible so make me want to be a stay at home mum. my best friend has a Mil that always has her kids and I am so so so envious. If I just had a mum to look after them it would all be ok.

OP posts:
Original poster
lisaleelu · 08/01/2012 20:38

Well iam not actually due in till tues - dont work mondays - so will let someone know tomorrow.

OP posts:
thenightsky · 08/01/2012 20:45

Feel for you Lisa Sad

I remember when DS got chickenpox on his 1st birthday and I needed 2 weeks off. I rang my mum and she refused to come and help saying she would catch shingles. I lied in the end and said I was ill. My lovely GP even wrote a note for me.

baubleybobbityhat · 08/01/2012 20:53

What an absolutely horrific attitude from your school Sad. You should not have to feel bad about this!

It is the same for parents the world over though. A very high percentage of people do not have parents to fall back on.

When my dc were little, my childminder took them when they had chicken pox and feeling a bit better, as all the other children in her care had already had it!

youarekidding · 08/01/2012 20:55

lisa feel for you as it is hard when teachers DC's get ill. Although IME some schools are far more understanding than others. To a scary extreme in fact.

Check about the pay though as they can not pay you. Again varies from school to school but we get 1st day off as emergency childcare day and then unpaid after that.