to be completely overwhelmed?

[DesperatelySeekingPomBears]

I was rushed into hospital with pre eclampsia on the 30th of December, on the 3rd of December the decision was taken to induce my labour. Everything that could possibly go wrong went wrong and rather than the natural water birth I wanted I was as good as strapped to the bed with monitors etc.

Labour didn't progress properly and my DSs heart rate plummetted so I was rushed to theatre for an emergency section. Exhausted, I was dumped on the ward and left, unable to get out of bed to tend to my son and too tired to really do so for the night.

Things seem to have got progressively worse since. He refuses to sleep in his moses basket at night, I hate breastfeeding so much and I feel like a complete failure. All I want to do is cry all of the time as I don't feel like I'm coping at all. I mentioned switching to formula feeding to the midwife so that DP can help me out but you'd have thought from her reaction I was suggesting feeding him battery acid.

I feel like just packing a bag and leaving and letting DP and DS find someone worthy. Is it normal to feel like this? Should I go with my instincts and switch to formula feeding? Should I give expressing a go? When does it get easier? I just feel completely desperate and isolated and could throw myself off the roof at the very thought of DP going back to work in a fortnight.

OP, please see your GP or HV asap, feeling tearful and blue is normal, totally panicking about everything suggests to me you have PND,
You WILL feel better soon, but a bit of help wouldn't go amiss, you are not the problem, I'm sure you are a great Mummy, I just think you need a bit of help from the 'professionals' to get you through this rough patch.
Good Luck - x

I swapped to FF on day 5 and it was a huge relief to me after a horrible birth and crap recovery. While I am not suggesting that you do switch, one of the things I found is that once I had made the switch I never felt judged by health care professionals (MW, GP, HV) as once I went past the point if no return there was no point in them judging me for it. I read a lot about FF and decided that we would focus on doing that well (demand feeding, following all the relevant guidance etc). Also DD didn't really take to her Moses basket and I loved cosleeping.

I found BF really difficult with my first, I used to cry when feeding him, so sad. It did get better eventually but I know now that asking for help at the start is what I should have done. Getting the correct position and latch is very important.
With babies 2 and 3 BF was great, I had a BF book and kept on checking and double checking the pages to make sure latch was right.

How are u doing this morning?

Also meant to say it helps if you take the breastfeeding one day at a time. I did "today I am breastfeeding, tomorrow is up for grabs" approach.

But it is,an exhausting time - and I second all the people who say get in PJs and stay in bed. You may find it also helps family & friends to realise what you have gone thru too.

Finally talk, talk, talk. Don't let anyone say "you have a healthy baby so forget it and move on". That won't help. Asking for a birth debrief was the best thing i ever did.

Please let us know how u r getting on.

Just noticed your post. It could have been written by me a 3 years ago (except it was my second and a planned section). Haven't read the whole thread due to lack of time. The section, lack of sleep and general anxiousness of having a new baby have left you feeling like this. I saw my GP after 11 days trying to BF. He told me to stop. That day. I said I couldn't because the MF had told me I'd suffer with sore breasts if I did and I had to do it gradually. He said I could cope with sore breasts better than the feelings I was having. I stopped, had very sore breasts but I think he was right. I saw him after a week, feeling like a different woman. He said I'd been so tired, and never to feel guilty about FF as while it may be best for baby it is not always best for the whole family (DD was my second).

Please think of yourself and your DP as well as the baby. You are a whole package

Just to second what others have said about a birth debrief, I think that will definitely help you process what's happened. Maybe you won't feel up to it for a few weeks, but write it down somewhere and do it when you feel able. I wish I had done something positive like that - hence I only have one DC!

Let us know how you're doing if you can.

Sorry your struggling, this part is the hardest This is a good link to explain expressing hopefully the breastfeeding support will help you no end. Good luck :)

I hated breastfeeding and expressing was tortuous, I'm pretty sure I had something along these lines d-mer.org/ actually. I mention it as you say you hate BF and I did too, despite being otherwise motivated and informed and wanting to.

If you want to use formula use it and tell the health visitor she can breastfeed if she likes, you've had enough (I did similar). If you're still undecided maybe make a concerted effort to grab whatever help and advice you can and set a time when you'll have another think about it - lots of great links above by the look of it.

In general life with a baby definitely settles down, it's a huge adjustment even without the problems you've had. Good luck x

I am sorry to hear how things have happened, but congratulations on your little boy.

I hated breastfeeding for the first 6 weeks, then it suddenly got much easier and I started to like it (and fed until DS was 16mo). I was so glad that I'd persevered as it was then much easier than having to deal with bottles. I'm glad that you are seeing a BFC so that you have all the right information and advice. If you then decide to stop BFing, remember that "every day counts" and be proud of yourself for every day that you did BF, rather than guilty for stopping.

I'd second (third?) the advice about spending some time in bed with some good food, good DVDs, top off, baby just in nappy, resting and getting to know each other.

As for DS in the Moses basket, we tried a hot water bottle in it to take the chill off the sheets before putting him in, stretching a top of mine over the sheet so it smelt of me, playing soft chilled out music, swaddling. (I'll come back if I think of anything else.)

Finally, your mood sounds so low. This might just be 'normal' baby blues, but maybe not, and if it is not, best to get it sorted as early as possible. Do you have a nice GP you can go to see to talk about this?

Hope you are doing a bit better today.