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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want go swimming with DH because of his hairy back

74 replies

ladyWinterfell · 07/01/2012 13:44

DH has just taken kids swimming, I am at home as I don't like to be in the pool with him. His back is so hairy, children stare. I notice them, he doesn't. I just can't relax and have fun as I just feel sad to see the reactions. In the summer I usually immac his back and then its not so in your face furry. Sigh.

OP posts:

Bluestocking · 07/01/2012 20:53

Oooh, hairy all over - I love it! I am sure the children who stare are just thinking "wow, hairy!", not anything horrible. I've noticed children peeking at my colostomy scar which is visible above my bikini bottom - it's human nature to look at anything different on someone else's body, and children haven't learnt to be discreet about how they do it. Don't let this stop you enjoy your family swimming sessions!

MildlyNarkyPuffin · 07/01/2012 20:58

You lie.

If you let a head and a pubic louse lose on the midriff, they travel to the expected areas. Bollocks did he have nits in back hair.

Must try harder.

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 07/01/2012 21:00

I love the hair on my dh's back. There not loads of it, but what there is is fucking gorgeous.

MildlyNarkyPuffin · 07/01/2012 21:08

loose

hwjm1945 · 07/01/2012 21:14

aren't they all hiry after the age of 40 or so? who cares what the kids think, let's face it, most of us probably don't look that great in swim souts. what kindof message are yuo giving your kids if yuo don't go swimming cos people might stare! jesus, who are you, the fashion or looks police?

MooncupGoddess · 07/01/2012 21:14

Next time children are staring at him, just tell them he's a werewolf. Much more fun than being pointlessly embarrassed.

KarenJones · 07/01/2012 21:19

I'm stealing the werewolf comment!

DH has the hairiest chest I've ever seen and is strangely proud of it..

It was a shock when I first saw it as he is otherwise quite blonde and unhairy but I've grown fond of it. Nice to cwtch up to in the winter months!

foreverondiet · 07/01/2012 21:29

I was actually thinking in the pool that too many over weight women wearing bikinis!

Why not get a homedics? I have one and now have no hair on legs, underarms etc.

TheEpilator · 07/01/2012 21:35

My name is from a previous thread where I complained about my DH waxing his back! I love a hairy man and would be lusting after your furry DH in the pool.

However, I know when my DH wanted to be hairless it really upset me, so how he looks will affect how you view him - just not sure you should care what others think of him.

LordOfTheFlies · 07/01/2012 22:40

My DH is hairy too. Thick, black hair.

He would be a nightmare to wax-not to mention time consuming. Where do you start? Shoulders? Where do you stop? Soles of feet?

My only worry with him swimming (apart from the fact he can't swim ) is him blocking the filter with his shed fur

Imjustagirl · 07/01/2012 23:15

Op is clearly using this thread to voice 'shallow' thoughts that she wouldn't say to dh. My dh has a very hairy back and I feel sorry for him as he is very self conscious. He would not take his top off without first removing the hair. I have a memory of being a small child, (apparently very shallow small child, according to this thread ), and looking at hairy backs in the pool and being shocked. I am never unkind about it, but willing to help him remove the hair because He is happier without hair, it's easily removed. If he didn't remove the hair and people stared at him, I would feel bad for him. I'd probably be cross with them to, if they were being too obvious! It's no different to kids staring at me in the pool if I had hairy armpits and legs. Of course it's my choice, but I'm sure dh wouldn't like anyone staring at me for that reason. Obviously we are both shallow, conformist feckers!

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 08/01/2012 00:15

could he perhaps wear a wetsuit next time you go swimming?

A1980 · 08/01/2012 00:20

Maybe he's embarassed to go to the baths with you and your fat arse, sagging breasts, et al but isn't so unkind as to actually say it. he might be secretly relieved you don't go with them.

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 08/01/2012 00:26

You really do go below the belt with your comments, A1980. Surely it's not possible for anyone to be as insulting, and bitter, as you, all the time??

recall · 08/01/2012 00:33

have your kids got hairy backs too ?

ComposHat · 08/01/2012 02:07

As a fellow hirsute gentleman, I can say that when they start auditioning for Chewbacca's body double or remake the Teen Wolf films, me and the OP's husband will be having the last laugh.

SparkleSoiree · 08/01/2012 02:17

LOVE My DH having a hairy chest and back! I did ask him once if he minded being hairy and he said "Im a hairy man and proud of it!".

Nuf said.

tryingtoleave · 08/01/2012 02:20

Can't the men who are embarrassed by their bodies wear a rash vest to the pool? It is becoming fairly common to see men and women wearing rash vests and board shorts even to indoor pools here (Australia) as, I think, everyone is getting more used to being covered up while swimming. I know I usually do, as am not terribly comfortable in a swimsuit.

Morloth · 08/01/2012 02:24

God I love hairy men.

The current trend for smooth male bodies freaks me out.

DH is hairy, not that far off the guy in the pic actually, though mostly blonde.

I remember watching an episode of Bones where Booth had his shirt off and he was smooth. It was disturbing.

Morloth · 08/01/2012 02:25

DH always wears a rashy, I have a burkini!

TeiTetua · 08/01/2012 06:16

If it were the beach instead of a pool, then it would be "She saw Esau on the seashore".

Original poster

ladyWinterfell · 08/01/2012 23:01

Thank you for all the hairy back lovers for their posts These comments really helped me. They made me smile and see the positive.
Of course I fell in love with him hairy (although the past 15 years he has got more and more so) I think that...with today's media....the images fed to us are ones of very different men. Its stupid I know, but when the fast majority of semi-naked men you see are on TV ....well REAL men don't actually look like that do they?
Personally DH and his brother are the only men I know who are so hairy. My dad is not very hairy at all and I have no brothers. think i'm a bit sheltered

-The first time we waxed was after his brother came raving abut how he had his done and it was great. Not done for a few years now. Though LordofTheFlys you have a good point where to stop was an issue I sort of trimmed hair of shoulders,sides etc to try to grade it in!! I liked it best a few weeks later when growing back but not yet 'bush'

I'm not making it up, I have pulled head lice and eggs from his back and shoulders, I keep a closer eye on kids heads now to catch any before we get that far, lesson learnt the hard way.

recall...not sure if you were taking the piss, but, yes my boys have had soft downy hair on their backs since they were born.

ComposHat, mooncup and karen love the Chewbacca and werewolf comments, we do play that sometimes

OP posts:

Lovemyboys01 · 08/01/2012 23:21

My hubby has a hairy back and he's very conscious of it, but I love him just the way he is and tell him this every day . . My dc love his "fluff" too

Stropzilla · 08/01/2012 23:29

My DH has quite a lot of back and chest hair, I stroke it in bed at night :). Also, I keep threatening to dye it blue and call him "Beast" (X-Men). For the record I really dislike blokes who feel they have to have smooth bods, they're men aren't they? I like them manly!

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