To think that people tend to find people their own age attractive and don't necessarily find younger people 'hotter'?

[PotterAndHisWand]

When I was 18 I didn't find many men over 30 attractive, now I'm getting on a bit I do find men my own age attractive and am not generally attracted to men in their 20's... Do you think this works for men too? Anyone else find this or the opposite?

I've always been out with blokes my age or a bit younger, and as I got older the a bit younger got quite a bit younger

DH is 5 years younger than me.

I don't really fancy older men. In fact I don't fancy them at all. And though as I have aged the men I find attractive have got older (I wouldn't go for a 17yo any more!) I reckon anything from about 25 upwards could catch my eye. I am 38

Before DH met me he was going out with a girl 5 years younger than him who looked like a bleedin model. So he moved from a 23yo to a 33yo, which was a bit disconcerting for me He seems to like me though so I'm not sure that this "men will always go for the youngest possible" is right at all. I have been out with plenty of younger men who could have gone out with girls their own age or younger but went out with me. I think it is rather a disservice to men to say that they will take youth over anything else every time. Lots of blokes go out with people because they fancy them and like them, and would choose them over an 18yo every time.

I kind of agree with you. I'm in my mid 40s now (eek!) and can't really see what anybody sees in 20-somethings. They just look so callow and lacking in experience and knowledge. Not interesting in any way, intellectually or otherwise. Same for men and women.

Always gone out with blokes about 5 yrs younger than me. I thought attractive just was attractive, and i'd fancy any age. But now i'm 35 i cannot find men in their early 20's fanciable - i can see they are 'structurally sound' but the switch doesn't flip for me.

However, my father (67) has never quite had this problem and seriously leches over anything in a skirt. Not subtly either; we'll be in a pub and 2 18 yr old girls will come in and he just stares at them, vacantly not taking in anything anyone else says. Or keeps saying to me 'cor look at that barmaid'. I look at them and tbh they aren't even good looking - just young! If i say that tho apparently i'm 'just jealous' yeah right

I'f i point out an older more attractive woman he looks at me like i'm crazy.

When driving he has slowed looking at 'girls' while i'm in the car and i say 'dad! they are in school uniform' he says 'What!' and he thinks he's super sly but it's just really creepy and embarrassing.

DP (31) likes older (40's) i think - dita von teese types. Never known him to acknowledge any woman under 30's.

"Men will ALWAYS choose the young hottie over the woman their own age. It's evolutionary and the sensible way to protect the continuation of the species. It might not be the best or most sensible choice but their brains are hard wired. "

I mean if this were true, men would immediately ditch women who turned out to have fertility issues. Or who decided they didn't want children. And that doesn't happen. Human beings are not as basic as some would have us believe, and the sort of tripe like that above is really damaging to both men and women, as it is so often used as an excuse for a range of undesirable behaviour.

I love a silver fox, me

Have always liked the older men, ever since I was in my teens (although older then is considerably younger now IYSWIM). Youngest I have ever gone is one year younger than me and he did seem very young.

I am now late thirties. DH is same age as me. However, if I'm casting my eye around, it's more likely to settle on a guy in his mid-forties than mid-twenties.

I just find them more interesting, more rounded, and better conversationalists

There are some older guys in seriously good shape where I live though.

x-post with spuddy - that's one good example of undesirable behaviour that some would prefer to explain away than tackle. There should be a zero tolerance to men leering at girls in school uniform. (Not aimed at you spuddy - it must be awful and I don't know how I'd deal with it either. More that society in general should not accept it).

I find all sorts of ages, from late teens up to late fifties-ish attractive, I theory.
I am 34, DH is 47.

I have always dated men about 10-15 years older than me. No idea why.

in theory

My Dh has always been attracted to mature ladies like famous ones. It seems men at my dhs work thing its sexy getting with an older women, but women I know wouldnt consider getting with a man significantly older than them.

Even now I have never been attracted to older men, even as I get older I am still not.

It depends on wheter we are talking about a night of sex, or a relationship. I think it is sad when men over 30 are looking for a relationship but will only date women under 20, i know a few who do this (even though they have children).

I like men of a certain body type and that is what i would go for, they would have to have similar interests but i have met 20 odd year olds who i can get along with (wouldn't let them in my childrens life, though) and that would then be a deal breaker on a relationship and not just a bit of fun.

If I think about people I know in RL who are dating, then tbh, most of them (men and women) are dating someone of about the same age (within 5 years each way). They are all in their thirties/early forties.

Exactly birds thats what I thik of when I think of older men dating much younger women. Those 40 year old+ bald, fat men that hang around in nightclubs trying to chat 16 - 25 year olds up in packs, bleurgh. Unfortunately loads of them here

oh and they all wear similar clothes and dress like jeremy clarkson!

yes, i totally agree sardine it's gross. I remember walking to school and being leered at constantly (20 yrs ago) as does mum (50 yrs ago).

However, i do think it's an education thing and dare i say it (gets ready for a flaming) a class thing. IME (purely anecdotal of course) working class males tend to like the younger, blonder, bigger boobed variety of mate. Think loaded, page 3 etc.

My dad and his peers feel this is fine but males i know from middle class backgrounds will deviate from these tastes, sometimes even to flat chested brunettes like me! My family have always considered me an ugly duckling really (despite being a model in my late teens) because i don't fit their stereotype of 'beauty'.

If i have ever tried to point out to dad/his mates how unpleasant their behaviour is they call me a middle class prude/leftie/lessie/jealous. You can't really engage with that. Last time dad did it when we met in a pub i told him firmly to stop, it was embarrassing to him, offensive to me and they didn't like it either and if he continued i was leaving. Sad really.

Mum says, as he's got older his tastes haven't and he still thinks he's in his 20s/30s but what the young women see is just a creepy old man. But of course 'she's jealous...' ggrrrr

i remember seeing a photo of a topless taylor lautner in a magazine a few years ago and thinking "hmmmmm..." then read the blurb that went with it, realised he was 16 and felt like i'd been tricked into looking at child porn!

i generally find men around my own age attractive, pretty much 5 years either side is my limit, so i would agree with you OP.

As a generalisation women tend to incline to older men rather than younger, and men for younger women rather than older.

Personally I have found certain men attractive, regardless of their age.

I've always wondered whether older people (ie in their 60s/70s/80s) fancy each other or not!? Is it the case that they do fancy younger people, but think they are immature/silly or just that they wouldn't fancy them back??

PotterandhisWand

Yes, you will.

I prefer older men - think it's a confidence/maturity thing. The younger guys in my office that people think are "hot" do nothing fo me AT ALL they just seem so...well YOUNG i guess in mentality. I could not handle endless conversations about ipads, iphones, football and how many pints they can drink which seem to be the main things they talk about.

mmmm...In my late thirties and used to find Martin Shaw in Judge John Deed soo sexy, Trevor Eve in Waking the Dead, Colin Firth and even something about Huw Edwards on the BBC news. Does anybody else understand where I'm coming from on this one??

My boyfriend before DH was 12 years older than me. DH is two years younger than me. Now that I'm 51 I so glad I'm with the 49 year old and not the 63 year old due to draw his pension

Well I think Colin Firth is gorgeous but then I remember thinking Trevor Eve was gorgeous in a Bouquet of Barbed wire.

Just spoke to a male friend and he's a very young good looking 42 year old who works in a University. He doesn't find the young female students in work attractive as the majority come across as childish/silly and naive. When he takes the kids to school finds some mums in their 20s 30s attractive but a lot of them also very unattractive where they've 'let themselves go' as he puts it. In his thirties he worked with older ladies, some in their early 50s who stayed in shape, very attractive and looked after themselves and great personalities and oddly found himself quite attracted to the mature, know what she wants and experienced type woman. Thinks that women who love themselves and know they're gorgeous are unattractive and very off putting to the majority of male species, 'High maintenance'.

I can appreciate good looks at any age, would not act on it even assuming it was reciprocal as I am happy with my sexy yummy 49 yr old DH. there is just a 'twinkle' with some blokes that does it for me no matter what the age and sometimes those who have it are not even good looking, they just have 'it' fgs our paper boy a few years back had it and he must have been 16!!!! so for me age would not play a big part in it apart from the realisation that a young bloke old enough to be my DS would probably be a bit of a no no if I was seriously considering a relationship.