To want to throttle my sis with her own intestines then slow boil her head ? << froths >>

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

Oh my bloody sis has a death wish I SWEAR. Spent today clearing my living room of all the christmas stuff, by my non existent standards it was immaculate, fireplace was cleared and polished, floor mopped and a bin bag full of shite binned. I even went through the magazine rack ffs AND all the bits like odds and ends of clothes, hair stuff etc were in there rightful place.

It was THAT tidy I even opened the blinds ffs AND I had candles lit, so it smelt nice.
( It also meant she couldn't do her usual 'what's that smell thing she does, making me feel uncomfortable in my own house )
SHE walked in ( she of the huge house with only her husband and no kids, SHE who makes us sit in the dining room when we visit, SHE who chased the kids with a sweeping brush when the silly string came out at dds party )

And she said ' what ave you been doing all day Jue ? i've been cleaning the house all day, you could do with getting in here sorted out you know.

'What's wrong with it ?' Says I. , icicles gathering on my eyeballs. 'What would you improve ?'

She stood there rabbit caught in the headlights stylee obviously thinking 'oh fuck'

'The skirting boards', she says, 'have you cleaned your skirting boards' ?

'Yes' I growl, 'I hoovered them, is there a problem with that ?'

'Oh, was just asking narky' says she. ( doing her usual thing she does after being an arse, putting it in the victims shoulders god forbid they react negatively )

There is fuck all wrong with my skirting boards.

That may sound like an overeaction, but believe me it's one of a million putdowns, grrrr, why do some people have to pick the tiniest fecking fault ?

I thank you

Oh the place is immaculate, mainly because they only use a few of the rooms and are just those arseholey efficient people who don't seem to gather mess like me

I have got bits and bobs over the years tho I confess, but she still has that fucking ability to make me feel small, part of it's true, my house needs a lot of work doing to it, we're getting there but it's complicated by the fact we have to move out each time as the dcs can't cope with having people in which is expensive. Even just painting a room is complicated. Plus we're crap at DIY whereas her husband got his ( architect ) brother to design them a kitchen which he then built himself with solid fecking oak.

We ave no leg to stand on, we are scummers

No bedlam, she's always been like that, her nickname was TRIO as a kid because of her big, often nasty gob.

She didn't have major fertility issues, they've remained childless mainly through choice, they chose not to take the help offered because they like it the way it is. She's never been particularly maternal tbh.

What a bitch. Or are you anthea turners sister??? In which case, what a bitch, again.

If she's always been like it then clearly not related to fertility etc. I don't think I'd want her coming round. I'm sure your house is clean and tidy when you want it to be, although personally I much prefer a 'lived in' house. Your sisters house sounds rather sterile.

Cheesy - you need this

Op why do you care what she thinks? Genuine question .

YANBU
I'd have told her to leave and never come back. If I didn't knock her out first.

Hee hee chipping, I think I do

And Fanny, did I say I cared ?

No, I did not.

I dislike it and think it's rude, therefore i'm entitled to whinge about it and beat my chest on MN. I like a good rant at times, it's good for the soul.

Genuine answer

Op I apologise I did not intend to upset you further, I totally condone your rant
I should have elaborated when I posted, it just seemed that you sound normal your sister sounds a bit unusual for want of a better word, therefore I wondered if there was a long history of her trying to upset you?

Posted too soon
And if there is why she is still able to upset you iykwim?

i would pass you some darts act, but i can't find the damn things in the mess.

shes just jelous of you. what have you got that she hasn't? why does she need to make herself feel bigger by putting you down?

openly run your fingers along her skirting boards next time you visit and turn it into a family joke? can you turn all her critical words into something funny?

Next time she says similar you need to deploy the mn classic "did you mean to sound so appallingly rude?" on a very calm tone. It works a treat.

I doubt its really about the house, she just likes winding you up methinks, can only think she feels inferior

She sounds like my mum, I love her to bits and she really is great in all other ways but she does this and drives me mad!

She'll say things like 'oh when I had your ds today I managed to get all my cleaning done, why dont you manage it?' well firstly your cleaning is done hourly so takes a fraction of the time, secondly before you start you don't have to locate and return mega blocks/playmobil/a zillion cars to their rightful home, oh and thirdly it's none of your business!'

What Jenny said.

Or, pick up the nearest damp mop/cloth that you've just used to wipe down the sides and just gently rub it all over her face.

Then say nothing

You have made me laugh AND made me resolve to clean and buy more nice candles. So some good has come of your sisters meanness!

I'm gobsmacked at the "how did you clean your skirting boards?" question, but have a wonderful vision of OP waving her hand loftily round the impeccable room (glances at own, very far from impeccable room) and saying "why, with a bespoke Harrods skirting brush made from the nasal fluff of free-range Peruvian snow-white llamas of course, what do use for yours?"

do you ever say 'that's very rude'? i don't think i could stop myself spluttering that and laughing in their face if someone said that to me.

Your house sounds much better than the squiggling pit that is mine!

You could always be a bitch back. Retaliate by saying that it's the kids who make the mess...

YANBU! I like the bacon idea

you could always pick up her coat and use it to dust then put it back down when she isnt looking my mum is like your sister i almost had a nervous breakdown when she visited on christmas day and she said oh J you didnt iron your curtains when you put them up I DID oh and when you getting a new sofa , arghhhh merry fecking christmas mother !

TBH, I'd tell her to go back to her immaculate house and not bother visiting again since she so obviously thinks it's beneath her standards.
OR next time she comes round, hand her the various cleaning implements and say "Since you don't think I do a good enough job, knock yourself out, you can do it to your standards, I'll have a cup of tea waiting for you when you've finished"

Or you could go with your original idea - some people just are naturally rude, put-downy bitchy types and it probably stems from some insecurity or other but fuck, they're hard to put up with! So don't.

When she asks next time what the smell is, reply:

'Just like last time, it's the rancid stench of pointless spite. Perhaps you'd like to leave? It might disperse more rapidly'.

She sounds a right charmer.