to think it's mental to religiously stick to baby-led weaning (finger foods only)?

[Ficuslover]

I think finger foods are fine, but isn't it weird to favour them exclusively? My friend's baby is under the 10th percentile at 8 months and can't get enough in his mouth! She won't give him anything with a spoon and his breakfast is a weetabix biscuit with a splash of milk on it. Yum. Surely it's not bad to give then some sloppy foods now and again? Why do some people have to take things so literally?

I think shovelling custard and crap down a baby's mouth until they cannot physically eat anymore, and theyre already seriously chubby anyway, as I've seen be the case!!
is mental

I have no issue with BLW if it floats your boat - and can fully see why it would be better if you had a child that batted food away etc.

But, I think it's wong to presuppose that all babies hate being spoonfed as if it were forcefeeding gruelo. I can't be the only one surely whose DC sat open mouthed liked birds, smacking their lips between mouthfuls like wee emperors??

I think we need to focus on the real issue here. The op is right, everyone else ever, is wrong.

I think the only time spoon feeding equals more calories is if you have a child with very poor coordination who wants more food but is not physically capable of getting enough food into their mouth to satisfy them.

For dd, who was also poor at breastfeeding, spoonfeeding was a godsend, certainly never a case of batting her hands aside and forcing it into her: she kept opening her mouth like a baby bird and asking for more.

Yabu and you aren't a nice friend. BLW is a great idea and it should be better understood that the prejudiced half arsed judge pants uneducated preconceptions you have. While we are on teh subject giving finger foods and the spoon feeding puree is NOT blw. Milk is for fun until they are one anyway and tbh the weaning advice the BLW cookbook and book has in it is useful for anyone weaning. Many friends have borrowed the book and said it's the best advice they've had even when they have chosen to go down the puree route. Better than spoon-feeding puree and distraction feeding to get 'just another spoon' of baby rice, mashed carrot or sweet potato which had feck all calories compared to milk. And don't get me started on growth spurts. And toddler grazing. Some babies do great on BLW some need som extra help, but if we listened yo what our babies were asking to do rather than just assuming we know best I'm fairly certain we'd all be happier. Oh and babies who eat for England and have milk STILL WAKE UP AT NIGHT.

i think hovering over a child with a plastic spoon and a yuksome bag of ella's plasticated mush is mental

besides, isn't milk the main source of calories at this age, and food is about diversifying away from just milk gradually?

but then what do I (8 stone shortarse) and my 10th and 25th centile kids know

YABU

The key thing is that they get what they need, which means the parent won't be dropping milk feeds, they'll be following baby's lead on that too.

"Not everything can be eaten with fingers, stews, cottage pie, risottos, porridge"

My three all managed to eat everything on this list with their fingers just fine before they could use a spoon. My eldest could easily shovel in whole bowl of cottage pie or porridge at 7-8 months with his hands .

Doesn't it make a hell of a mess though? Perhaps that's why she's sticking to the finger foods?

WoollyHead indeed cottage pie, chilli, risotto, porridge where the clumps stick together but the food doesn't need biting off into smaller chunks is the easiest food for DD to eat, far from impossible!

yabu, different babies do different things if mum is happy and baby is happy its non of your business.

fwiw ds1 blw and mashed up food, if didnt get the spoon refilled fast enough he would squak like a bird!

ds2 blw would NEVER let me get a spoon anywhere near him, tbh he didnt really eat much solid food at all till 18mths, he just bfed.

ds3 blw.

ds4 blw

dd blw and mashed stuff, again like ds1 if i dont get the spoon to her fast enough she shouts! dp and i sit either side of her at mealtimes and both have an extra spoon to feed her so we can take it in turns to give her a mouthful and still eat ourselves. she does self feed a lot tho as well.

I am a big fan of letting baby feed themselves because I am to lazy to puree and stand around for an hour wielding a plastic spoon.

HOWEVER, it does seem slightly odd if your friend is deliberately banning any food that required a spoon. Are you SURE this is what she is doing or are you just projecting your negative BLW views?

I think its pretty unlikely that a baby will starve because she has to use her hands rather than a spoon though. I'm sure this has nothing to do with her being on a low centile.

Indeed, there are whole world cultures where it is totally normal for people of all ages to eat food, even sloppy food, with their hands -not a spoon in sight.

I really object to 'mental' in the op

"Ficuslover Thu 05-Jan-12 15:12:25

I think finger foods are fine, but isn't it weird to favour them exclusively? My friend's baby is under the 10th percentile at 8 months and can't get enough in his mouth! She won't give him anything with a spoon and his breakfast is a weetabix biscuit with a splash of milk on it. Yum. Surely it's not bad to give then some sloppy foods now and again? Why do some people have to take things so literally?"

have you actually asked your friend about it, or just taken to the internet to slag her off?

You can't judge a baby as being small. DD was really skinny and low weight. At 9 months she was on the 0.4th centile, however since she walking and otherwise really alert and healthy the pediatrician didn't even mention it to us at our check up. As others have said they come in different sizes and milk should be the main intake at this age. In some cultures weaning starts a lot later.

(but actually, yeah, broadly speaking i think it is inadvisable to stick to one parenting course of action religiously, if it is causing harm. i just don't see the problem on this one, that's all.)

My ds has never gone above the 0.4th percentile and the doctor/hv have never been concerned as he has continued gaining weight and he had a mixture of spoon and finger foods, as long as he's growing I don't see the issue.

I agree that sticking strictly to BLW might not be suitable for all babies, but at 8 months they don't need much food, milk more important. And sounds like the baby doing fine feeding himself.

I have had a nightmare with DS2's eating (totally reluctant eater) now 21 months and still having probs and so if we'd stuck to BLW he wouldn't have eaten anything other than biscuits until after his birthday - we always offered finger food but he always threw onto floor, but I wouldn't be judgmental over anybody where BLW was working for them.

Well, I went the truly mental Paleaolithic way.

Mashed up vegetarian for a year, everyone's fingers allowed.

does it really matter. at 8 months they don't need much in the way of solids anyway.

under the 10th percentile is a natural weight for that baby I'm sure. sounds like he is feeding himself well and the parents will reap the rewards soon when they can all eat at the same time without taking time away to spoon feed baby.

my eldest was puree only, my second was BLW only and my third is a mix of the two. all have been BF, tiny, really healthy and very bright. why do people think a huge jabba the hutt size baby is ideal

I've not had a baby that's been over the 10th centime for weight. Different story for length :) No health issues, very active, they were happy, we were happy, doctor was happy. Spoon fed? They did not like that. They liked milk or feeding themselves.

I thought BLW meant literally nothing from a spoon. Scratched my head for quite some time over it before realising I could spoonfeed the messier stuff without anyone dying.

Karen exactly.

It is bonkers to think it is an/either or situation. Strict adherence to BLW or spoon-feeding mush, with zero acknowledgement of the vast swathes of weaning and learning about food in between.

But the thing is, it is to the devotees...! I have the Gill Rapley book and was all gung ho to do BLW with DC1 - she basically says that you're only doing BLW if you totally reject spoon-feeding, or only allow the whole pre-loading malarky.

So while both DCs were effectively weaned via BLW, I did spoon-feed sloppy food as well, as it was so much easier. In both cases, they both just had sudden bursts of independence, and from then on took control of their spoons themselves.

No learning and unlearning and re-learning at all.

Anyway, bottom line is that an 8 month old's main diet is still milk and will be for a while, so it hardly matters.

i think tbh anyone who signs up to 'a method' to the degree that they sign over their brain own parental instincts are going to get into trouble. i'm a Big Fan of BLW, my site is at www.babyledweaning.com in fact, but it is just utter crapola to dictate How Things Should Be Done. No two babies are the same, not even in the same family... all you can say is 'here's wot i did, if the idea appeals to you go for it, but feel free to jiggle it for your own family'.