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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's mental to religiously stick to baby-led weaning (finger foods only)?

168 replies

Ficuslover · 05/01/2012 15:12

I think finger foods are fine, but isn't it weird to favour them exclusively? My friend's baby is under the 10th percentile at 8 months and can't get enough in his mouth! She won't give him anything with a spoon and his breakfast is a weetabix biscuit with a splash of milk on it. Yum. Surely it's not bad to give then some sloppy foods now and again? Why do some people have to take things so literally?

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RagamuffinAndFidget · 05/01/2012 15:28

Baby-Led Weaning basically means that you let the baby decide for themselves what they want to eat (from a selection offered at each meal time, preferably a mix of finger foods and 'sloppy' foods) and how much of it they want. It doesn't mean you only give them finger foods forever, it just means that you don't spoonfeed a whole jar of mush into them because that's what it says on the side of the jar.

If your friend's baby is under the 10th percentile then he's still ON the charts. My five month old DS2 is under the 10th percentile and was the 75th at birth, and we will be doing Baby-Led Weaning with him. We will do the same as we did with DS1 (two and a half years old) and offer a mix of finger foods (pasta, toast fingers, fruit and vegetable slices/sticks, strips of meat, etc.) and 'sloppy' foods (pasta sauces, minced meat, porridge, yoghurt, etc.). I'm not very mental.

RagamuffinAndFidget · 05/01/2012 15:29

Forgot to say - YABU.

But also, maybe your friend isn't quite sure what Baby-Led Weaning is all about, because it's not just about only giving finger foods. It's the principle of how your baby eats, and letting them be in control, that's important, not what they're eating as such.

Original poster
Ficuslover · 05/01/2012 15:29

He did go down the chart but has stabilised recently I think. I realise percentiles are not the be all and end all, it's just he seems quite hungry whenever I see him and he struggles sometimes to get stuff in his mouth.

It's fine for them to graze on stuff but it's just the 'no other food' attitude that drives me mental. What's the supposed advantage of BLW anyway? I don't get it.

OP posts:
Alouisee · 05/01/2012 15:30

I think op might be the MIl Wink

lowra · 05/01/2012 15:30

charitygirl I'm not sure my 9mo DD could feed from a spoon even if preloaded.

We do make alot of food thick enough to eat with her fingers but not everything can be eaten this way and IMO it's a bit dogmatic to stick religiously to this method just for the sake of it.

JollySantaJackrum · 05/01/2012 15:32

DS is blw. He occasionally has frubes that we help him with. And we give him loaded spoons.

He is 8.5 months and eats significantly less solids than his peers. However, when he was born his weight was on the 50th centile and it has gradually increased until now he is on the 85th centile. At his 6 month check up he was still on the 75th one. Clearly DS is not 'going hungry' or I doubt he'd be gaining centiles.

Feminine · 05/01/2012 15:38

I don't get any BLW at all Confused

Well what I should say is it sounds like something most Mums have been doing forever...

My youngest is only just 3 so I am a bit baffled, she grabbed the spoon at 7 months and went for it...I didn't spoon anything after that.

They have all eaten in the way BLW seems to advocate ...it was just called giving them the right meal for the right age!

So, YANBU if your friend has got herself so wrapped up the idea of something, that she fails to see her baby is hungry.

RagamuffinAndFidget · 05/01/2012 15:39

OP, do you see him at mealtimes? That would explain the hunger.

Baby-Led Weaning is about allowing babies the freedom to choose and explore food themselves, to control their own appetites and develop their own likes and dislikes. Babies often take a while to get the hang of eating lots 'properly' but if they are given the opportunity they will usually (healthy baby, developing at 'normal' rate) get there eventually!

Original poster
Ficuslover · 05/01/2012 15:40

Well obviously it's completely up to her what she does but I can think what I like. I think probably it's the attitude that this how it should be done that winds me up. My DS had finger food and wet food and eats fine (so far, touch wood). I just feel some mothers try to over-complicate things that are incredibly simple. Have child, feed milk, feed food, child grows. Easy.

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Rugbylovingmum · 05/01/2012 15:41

This is just my experience but I've had friends who have done blw, some who have done purees and some who did a mix (we did mostly finger foods but also porridge. yogurt etc on preloaded spoons). I haven't noticed a big difference between the blw babies and the puree-fed babies in terms of how well they eat or how big they are BUT the babies who's mums were laid back and not stressed about feeding all seem to be better eaters and eat a better range. If your friend is happy and relaxed with how she is feeding her baby I'd just back off and let her get on with it. Lots of critical looks or comments just make for an unhappy mum and baby. Under one most of the nutrients/calories come from milk anyway so I'm sure the LO is fine and by the time he is one he'll be able to feed himself a good range of foods so nothing to worry about.

howlongwilltheynap · 05/01/2012 15:45

I am not doing BLW and my baby is on the 9th centile. So what do you recommend I do???

Original poster
Ficuslover · 05/01/2012 15:48

Fair enough, Rugbyloving, I'm sure he will be fine. I just don't like dogma - and the religious fervour it provokes in some of it's adherents. Particularly when it concerns whether a carrot is pureed or julienned!

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WhatstheScenario · 05/01/2012 15:49

I did a mix of finger foods and some spoon feeding (yogurt, cereal etc), but to be honest, I dont see why it is any more 'mental' to let your baby feed themselves than it is to spoon food into their mouth. Up until the age of 12 months they should be getting their calories from milk, anyway, so if a child is very under weight, there may be other reasons - small or prem baby, slight build runs in family, rejecting milk etc.

Original poster
Ficuslover · 05/01/2012 15:50

howlongwilltheynap - er, carry on as normal?

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Original poster
Ficuslover · 05/01/2012 15:53

WhatstheScenario - how about not letting them have the chance to spoon food into their own mouths?

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MildlyNarkyPuffin · 05/01/2012 15:56

Oh FFS, will people please learn what percentiles are!!!! There is nothing wrong with the 10th percentile!!!!!

Babies, like adults, come in different shapes and sizes and grow at different rates. That is normal. The 10th percentile means that out of 100 babies his age only 9 will weigh less. It doesn't mean he's underfed! The 50th centile is not a fecking target! How come no-one ever tells people with babies on the 10th for height to make them grow more!

Dropping centiles between 6 and 8 months expected, as babies become more mobile and burn more calories.

There is nothing wrong with letting him feed himself. You said he's stable on the 10th and he is shovelling food in.

FutureNannyOgg · 05/01/2012 16:02

My BLW DS had weetabix from the outset, he dipped his spoon in and sucked it, or scooped up handfuls until he got the hang of a spoon at around 8 months. BLW isn't "finger foods only" it just means the baby chooses what they put in their face.
10% of babies will be under the 10th centile, that's how statistics works, it doesn't mean the child is underweight.

Original poster
Ficuslover · 05/01/2012 16:03

Just to clarify people, I don't think BLW is mental in itself, on the contrary, it seems perfectly sensible within reason.

It is the absolute exclusivity of solid foods that this person is pursuing that I find odd. (although if we're going to get pernickity the child can only lead as far the foods you put in front of him. Unless he's really precocious - "I'd like a goat's cheese souffle tonight mother - hold the spoon")

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Moominsarescary · 05/01/2012 16:04

If I'd done purly blw with ds3 he'd have eaten nothing until 9.5 months

Original poster
Ficuslover · 05/01/2012 16:07

MildlyNarkyPuffin - well that's the thing you see, this baby ain't mobile any time soon. And forget your centiles, my eyes tell me that this baby is too small.

Anyway, I though weetabix were too salty?

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ladyintheradiator · 05/01/2012 16:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsEltoeNWhine · 05/01/2012 16:11

DD could easily use a spoon herself by 8 months. She'd have cutlery provided with all meals from 6 months and if she wanted to use it, she did, if she wanted to bang it on the table or throw it on the floor, she did that too.

She would try to copy us though so if we ate with a spoon she would try, but before she mastered or when very hungry she would opt for other ways of eating as more satisfying, which was fine with us. For example she would pick up a yoghurt in two hands, squeeze it and lick the yoghurt from the top like an ice cream, go for chunks of soup soaked bread or sometimes skip the fingers and suck slippery things straight off the table with her mouth. Ha ha.

We didn't restrict when she had, she had what we had and found her own way to eat it each time. Some were messy, some amusing, but she ate like a gannet without us putting anything in her mouth or leading her in any way, we just modelled how to eat and she did the rest with the bits she fancied eating. Done deal. Not dogmatic, not complicated, not faddy, just food.

SusanneLinder · 05/01/2012 16:14

I am obviously very old, cos I never got this whole BLW concept. You see I thought ALL babies did baby led weaning, as in they ate what the flaming wanted to, and didnt eat well......what they didnt want. :o

Mushed and finger foods here.

FannyBazaar · 05/01/2012 16:14

Not as mental as those plastic pouches of puréed food that I've seen people squeeze into babies. BLW isn't about excluding foods, it's about babies eating normal food and self feeding.

Original poster
Ficuslover · 05/01/2012 16:16

What if I said I think she wants her baby to remain tiny forever? On that bombshell ladies, I bid you adieu.

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