to email the dance teacher about 6 yo DD dancing to "I'm sexy and I know it"

[treadonthecracks]

They have a diffent theme each week, and for the street dance week it's "I'm sexy and I know it".

The class is fab, the teacher is lovely (no kids of her own) and it's fantastic value. I don't want to upset her as she's so lovely but I feel this is too old for DD. Some of the other kids in the class are 4!

If you think I should email what would you say?

I did dance routines to The Thong Song and I Wanna Sex You Up, etc as a kid.

Oh fuck that means I must be significantly older than you.

Not shelter them? at 4-6? that is our job as parents, surely? to protect them from that which can be harmful? unbeleivable that anyone would think we should not shelter our children from sexualisation at such a young age. Not only do I disagree with you cother, but I am absolutely stunned and horrified that parents out there feel the way you d .

I for one will absolutely protect my young child aged 5.5 from this kind of thing, whether it be at a dance class, in a shop (i would walk out) or advertising (i will turn it off).

sorry in meant coolrider there with the 'not shelter them', not cother. I was too angsty.

I don't believe in sexualising children. One of the reason's I like bringing my children up where I am is that they are treated as children for longer here.

I really think the issue here is about what the dance moves are. I can't see the harm in using a popular song that has a good beat and is easy for the children to dance to if the dance moves are appropriate to the age of the children.

Excuse the stray apostrophi - I have Example banging out too loud for me to concentrate

So you don't think that teaching 4 year olds to sing and dance to a song that goes: "I'm sexy and I know it - girls look at that body" is wrong in any way whatsoever?
Even if she does not have the lyrics (which refer to the "passion in his pants"), the fact that the sexy chorus is repeated over and over is a clue as to what the song is all about. But you don't see that as problem for very young and impressionable, anxious to please boys and girls?

If you don't believe in age-appropriate stuff then why do we bother having laws that delete expletives from the radio and TV? Why bother having age ratings on films and games? Why bother with campaigns to stop shops selling t-shirts with "sexy chick" on them to tots? After all, wouldn't that be a hypocrisy to stop shops selling sexy clothing for 4 year old when we approve of that same 4 year old learning dance moves to a song that promotes flaunting a 'sexy' body?

And that would be 'apostrophe'

Fuck it, I've changed my stance on this. Music is bad for your head. Bad.

And Cother, why do you keep banging on about what music you like? You think that your opinions make you cooler? Make you more of a groovy chick who likes to get down with the teenagers?

I like the Sex Pistols and Nirvana and Joy Division but that's got sweet FA to do with my opinions regarding children.

Where did I say I don't believe in age appropriate stuff? I don't dress my daughter like a tart. I don't teach my son that girls are objects.

I just really can't see the harm in dancing to a song. Unless the dance moves aren't age appropriate as I said up there^ Me and my kids dance to this song all the time and they giggle because he says 'pants'.

I completely understand where you are coming from. I just don't necessarily agree. I'm not trying to pick a fight with you. We just have different taste in music.

My kids are kind, loving, respectful and polite. I am constantly complimented on what lovely kids they are and how well behaved they are. Dancing to a song doesn't affect who they are or what morals I teach them.

Ooo x-posts.

No, I don't think I'm 'cooler'. I'm 32yr old mum who dances. By definition I can't be cool.

All 3 of my kids love that song and sing along to it. They are 5, 8 and 10. They also have some alternative "ebay" words for it (don't ask). I hate my kids repeating lyrics of a sexual nature and to be perfectly honest, I don't think the radio stations should be allowed to play them before a certain time as they are far too explicit for kids.
Remember when "Relax" was banned in the 80s? That had nothing on what is played now. Rhianna is one of the biggest offenders in my opinion.
I'm sounding like Mary Whitehouse now but there you go.

Crickey this really strikes a chord probably for all the wrong reasons!. My youngest son who is six is exposed to all sorts of music thanks to his three older siblings (eldest is 16). He jiggles his bottom to this one with the best of them -egged on by said siblings. However, when i read him his bedtime story and he insists i sing him his tradititional bedtime song..'twinkle, twinkle little star' - i am safe in the knowledge that he is not turning into a deviant. At such a young age they dont really understand the lyrics or at least interperet them in the way we do.

Oh good grief. I grew up listening to Pink Floyd among many others of that ilk and it took until I was about 18 to 'get' what half the fucking songs were about. I have a 2 year old DD and three older DC aged 15, 17 and 18. Shall I tell them that they can never play their shit music in case DD3 is corrupted for life? No, of course not.

Shall I ban them from watching MTV in case she sees a stray bum cheek or half a tit? Bloody hell, of course I won't.

Yes but vintage, do you want to encourage that in a dance class with a dance teacher? What goes on at home, as I've said, is different. I do wish posters would stop comparing this to what their children do at home. At home you are not there with perhaps 20 other kids encouraging them to do dance moves to "I'm Sexy and I Know It".

Neither would you then ask for other parents to pay up for teaching their children to dance that.

My real gripe with this is the word "sexy" which I feel is inappropriate and I won't allow my kids to use the word to describe themselves or anyone else at their age, let alone dance to a tune that repeats it. Children are NOT sexy and even if the children themselves don't know what they are saying, does that make it right?

If the song said "fuck" would you be happy with your child dancing to it for the same reason that they wouldn't know what was being said?

In this generation especially, with children exposed to more sexualisation than in my generation (and I ain't old), we have to be careful what we allow. It is not appropriate for children to sing and dance to "I'm sexy and I know it" in a private dance class. That's not being an outraged parent or a prude or not with the groove, that's just common sense.

Rockstockandtwoopenbarrels Pink Floyd is somewhat more intricate, complicated and sophisticated than "I've got passion in my pants .... I'm sexy and I know it" Most kids understand the latter.

RockStock, I don't let my kids watch MTV for the pure and blatant sexism that tells them that girls like to grind against rappers, wearing bikinis and stimulating sex or to behave in a sexually aggressive manner whilst accidently exposing as much of their breasts as is possible. I don't want my dd to think that's how society view women.

As I said earlier, why even try to protect children with bans on offensive language and age-appropriate content if parents are just going to flaunt it? Why not just let it all hang loose?

This attitude of "I listened to it at home and it never did me any harm" isn't helpful. This is not about listening to Pink Floyd at home as a pre-teen. It's about young children from the age of 4 being taught by a professional dance teacher and therefore thinking that's it's perfectly ok and acceptable and even to be encouraged to dance and sing along to sexy songs at their age.

The Rhubarb
I agree with your views but our children our growing up in a society where they will, whether we like it or not be exposed to all sorts of inappropriate material. Common sense, humour and self regulation are qualities that are equally important to develop in our chidren and are likely to serve them better in the future. I have never had to ban anything my children choose not to watch MTV themselves.

lunaticcow - this is true

TheRhubarb my oldest two daughters are 17 and 18 FFS, they can watch whatever they want, I am not going to ban them from watching MTV while DD3 is up and around. In any case DD3 is more interested in winding them up than anything else.

One is off to university this year and I am pretty sure that they are both (along with my son) perfectly capable of realising that society in general does not view women in this way. Or shall we start banning TOWIE, Made in Chelsea etc etc, in case these girls think that flashing their cleavage and pumping their lips full of shit is a certain way of nabbing a boyfriend. There are plenty of idiots out there that believe a large bust will get them what they want, but equally there are plenty like my daughters who snort with laughter at these vacuous idiots.

I am sniggering like a nine year old at "passion in my pants"

It IS a joke song, I don't think it's disturbing in the way that some Rihanna songs are for example. But yeah, still wouldn't want my six-year old dancing to it. What kind of dance moves will they be doing to it? When I used to do dance, it was all about musicality and relating the dance to the music.

Anyway, I once did a dance routine to "Let's Talk About Sex" by Salt 'n' Pepper in second year secondary school. Fucking wish my mum had found out and put the kybosh on THAT, save people from school contacting me on BookFace now, almost twenty years on to say "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Remember when you and X and X and X did that dance routine in assembly?"

X100,000,000.

Coming back to the original question i would not have a problem with speaking to the dance teacher. My girls did ballet so i never had this problem. Try asking her if any of the other mums had commented on her music choice and if she asks why then gently suggest that it might be too raunchy for the audience.

RockStock, I haven't suggested you ban anything. I just said that MTV was banned in our house, because my dd is 11 and my ds is only 8. My choice and not a judgement on what you choose in your own home.

vintageali, sadly this is true and I am not Mary Whitehouse by any stretch of the imagination. My views are merely that I would not want my 6yo dd learning dance moves to this song.

It IS tongue in cheek but the kids don't know that, do they? I would far rather they jig along to Nirvana's Teen Spirit than to "I'm sexy and I know it". Obviously you can't stop them listening to this shite that passes for music, but I wouldn't be paying someone to teach my 6yo dd to dance to it.

The OP asked if she should mention something as she feels it is inappropriate. Therefore, as a parent surely you should be going with your own instinct than what other people think? If she feels it's not right for her dd then of course she should say something and she is not being unreasonable or a prude or an outraged parent for doing so.

I'd just like to point out to the op that I never called her or anyone on this thread an outraged parent. I was making a point in general as the thread seemed to have moved onto more general situations.

The op came across as very reasoned and sensible. If you're not happy with the choice of music then certainly, you must say something. It's your prerogative as a parent to stand up for what you believe in with regards to your children.

I am usually very sceptical about all the campaigning about the sexualisation of children. Having never seen any sexy t-shirts ever being sold or worn by a child and I am more worried about children being abused, living in poverty etc. Yet there is no way on earth I would allow my child to learn a dance routine to that song. I would just have a word rather than email. She probably just has not thought it through.
Strangely just before Christmas my DD kept singing "I'm sexy and I know it". Over and over again. She did ask how someone could be sexy cos its a watch (Seksy) and did'nt I think it was stupid?

MTV and other music video channels are banned in this house. The content is not appropriate for small kids imho

I don't have children and I'm a bit at the suggestions/assertions that people who don't do not 'understand' issues like this. For heaven's sake, when you complain to the teacher don't bring up the fact that she doesn't have kids. If someone said that to me I'd be furious.

For the record, I think this is an appallingly misguided choice for a dance class full of 6-y-os and would definitely speak up about it.