to think that an autistic nine year old really doesn't need wine with his dinner....

[Flanelle]

... just to "make him feel included" and, because "they give children wine on the continent and it shatters the 'mystique of wine'". As far as I know, dont they give well-watered wine, which STBXH did not do, and do they really give it to very immature under tens with special needs?

From the purely physical point of view, the Chief Medical Officer's Guidelines are that children under the age of 15 should not have any alcohol at all and that after that they should not exceed the lower risk guidelines for adults.

Thanks Likeshinythings.

You're welcome. I think it's a tough call when you're looking at this from a social point of view so useful to just have the medical facts.

For those not understanding the autism relevance, the specialist who diagnosed my daughter made specific reference to making sure she stayed well away from any alcohol. He said that autism is black and white thinking. All or nothing. Add in obsessive, repetitive behaviours and you have a recipe for disaster when it comes to alcohol. Autistic people are a very high risk category for alcoholism.

Klad - that explans perfectly what happened to my asd ex in terms of how he became addicted!

A quick drink for "dutch courage" before social situations that made him nervous snowballed until it became a problem - it didn't happen overnight, and was directly related to his asd. He had noone to warn him when he was growing up (mid forties now in age) as the link wasn't understood. We know more now about both conditions than when he was young and impressionable so it's a risk those of us who are raising asd kids now can avoid/miinimise to improve our children's life chances over those who went before.

It's a clear cut known medical risk as opposed to an ethical choice. Which is why I said a court would support supervised access only in this case.

What does him being autistic have to do with it? Would a non autistic child be ok to have a glass of wine with his dinner?

I have an alcoholic parent who introduced his children to alcohol, I also have an autistic DS who already has the odds of having mental health issues such as depression stacked against him. I will not be encouraging him to drink, but I wouldn't encourage any child to drink alcohol, I don't see the need for it, or believe it would lead to anything good.

YANBU, autistic, or not.

My autistic 8 year old has asked to taste wine twice and both times he's hated it. We'd have said no if we hadn't been certain of that outcome :o

Hmm just read rest of thread - I read OP coming at it from the attitude that I wouldn't let ANY 9 year old child drink wine with their dinner. As I said I won't be encouraging my autistic DS to drink because I realise where it may lead - I wish I was more eloquent!