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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To never, EVER do the school run again?

134 replies

thinkofthemoney · 03/01/2012 17:28

First time on re school run today. Dd just started early years.
Was a bit surprised to find a parking spot right outside school but couldn't see any no parking signs and thought the gods were smiling on me.
I them proceeded to the playground where I felt like a leper! Despite it being first day all the other mums knew each other/ were arranging lifts to the birthday party of one of the little ones in my daughters class. Dd
Not invited but early days obviously.
And why did no one tell me you are supposed to 'dress up' for pick up? Was only mother without make up/ long boots/boden/north face body warmer.
Left the playground to find that the reason said parking space was empty is that the school bus parks directly opposite. My car was therefore stopping at least 10 other mums from getting out.
Cue slow clap from bus driver and lots of head shaking/stupid woman comments from other mums.
I was trying to explain to everyone that I had no idea the bus stopped there and there were no signs to say not to park amidst lots of sorries. These all fell on deaf ears as 'everyone knows not to park there'. Well not me obviously.
So, there goes any chance of social integration for me and dd.
Am I being U to send dh tomorrow?!!

OP posts:
TurkeyBurgerThing · 03/01/2012 20:39

As your dd learns how to read and write, you will learn how not to give a fuck! (about other judgy mums..not dd obviously!!)

OlympicEater · 03/01/2012 20:55

Agree with the others, it will all be forgotten shortly.

I can kind of understand the school run angst - its like being back in the playground again without any friends, standing on your own and wondering what others are thinking about you. But no-one actually notices you are on your own and it doesn't matter.

In a couple of weeks you will know a couple of Mums to natter to (if that is your wish) and people do dress for their day - some for work, some for housework, some for the gym, some like to dress up and some prefer to be casual.

OlympicEater · 03/01/2012 20:56

And I want to know what backinthebox does too

RobinSparkles · 03/01/2012 21:28

A parent at DD's school parked pretty much AT the bus stop across the road from the school. She parks there nearly every day but one particular day, at pick up time, a bus had stopped at the bus stop to pick up passengers and at that moment another bus came down the opposite side of the road. Because of the parked car both buses were completely stuck. One bus mounted the pavement so that the other could pass but it was still a tight squeeze so it took FOREVER. Other cars were stuck behind each bus, pedestrians were stuck because we could neither use the pavement nor cross the road...

Said parent's child is in the Juniors so not even an excuse of it being the first day!

backinthebox I'm also curious!

Original poster
thinkofthemoney · 03/01/2012 21:37

I am reading all your lovely replies trying not to spit my wine laughing. Some very funny, and reassuring tales here!
Thankyou for sharing them. I am feeling much more relaxed (see aforementioned wine) and am able to laugh at the whole thing. My husband thinks its bloody hillarious!
Its a small village, we have lived here all our lives (how I never knew about the unwritten parking rule i'll never know) and I have tons of friends so no real need to worry about making new ones. Any I make will be a bonus.
I just didn't realise this whole other playground universe existed. Most parents here are very rich and have moved in within the last few years and I suppose I feel a bit intimidated. Don't know why really, just felt a bit like MY first day at school not dd.
Anyway, I'm back at work next week so won't need to do the run very often, thank god!

OP posts:
spottydogpencilcase · 03/01/2012 21:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Backinthebox · 03/01/2012 21:51

Fly aeroplanes for a living, innit? There are only 270 women in the UK doing it for a living, and of those about 50 have kids. So not likely to run into someone else wearing the same outfit as me if I drop DD off on me way to work. I'm saving wearing the hat for when I feel the need to show the odd Boden-wearing, judgey-panted harridan who sneers pityingly at my shitty jodhpurs that I don't spend all day every day looking like I was dragged through a bush backwards. It's just that I happen to like that look :grin:

IslaDoit · 03/01/2012 21:54

Oh. I was hoping you'd be a trapeze artist. Or artist's model.

AKMD · 03/01/2012 21:55

Ooo, what a fantastic job! Definitely wear the hat at some point.

Backinthebox · 03/01/2012 23:36

I'd be terrible as a trapeze artist. The cellulite would wobble as I flew through the air. My daughter likes to wear the hat. I keep it in the car, tis handy for entertainment on long journeys.

stealthsquiggle · 03/01/2012 23:49

To my deep and abiding shame, even when I am on my way to a meeting (as opposed to working @ home) I still look way scruffier than some most of the SAHMs at school. It is a long drive to work, so I am generally wearing scruffy shoes instead of heels, my hair is wet from the shower, I have no make-up on, and if DD has a cold I often have a scruffy jumper on over work clothes to protect them from snotty hugs. I finish getting dressed in the car park when I finally get to work Blush.

OP, it will be fine. DD will make friends and their parents will become acquaintances.

CatPussRoastingByAnOpenFire · 03/01/2012 23:56

Poor you OP! My tip, tomorrow morning, stop at the gate, take a good look at everyone, then imagine them all naked. Strip away the designer clothes and imagine them all with the saggy tits, hanging bellies, stretchmarks and hairy toes that they ALL have!
Then, once they are all dressed again and you are feeling a bit less intimidated, pick the nearest new mum who looks like you feel, stomp over and say hello! My best friend in the world, was the other flustered mum who had also turned up late and hurled her child into the classroom at the last minute! We joined up, and then proceeded to make our own quiche!
And those stuck up mothers? We just used to talk to them anyway. Keep it up for long enough and they all crack eventually! Grin

BonzoDooDah · 04/01/2012 00:11

Catpuss - you made quiche at the gates eh? Grin
Took your own eggs?

CatPussRoastingByAnOpenFire · 04/01/2012 00:12

Not that kind of quiche! The MN sort! Grin

CatPussRoastingByAnOpenFire · 04/01/2012 00:13

Although we have made some very interesting soups over the years! Peanut soup NOT being one of them Hmm

tethersend · 04/01/2012 00:18

Style it out.

I live opposite a school, and was very impressed the other day with a mother who couldn't find anywhere to park, so simply parked across two lanes of traffic. I have never seen anything like it. She didn't hurry back either, but stood next to her car chatting to her friend for (no exaggeration) 10 minutes. The traffic backed up as far as the eye could see.

Oblivious to the beeps, she just ignored the angry shouts from drivers and carried on. I mean, that takes guts. Outstanding.

Fecklessdizzy · 04/01/2012 00:21

Poor old you OP

Our village primary was a bit them and us ... All the incomer SAH trophy wives looked like they got up at stupid o'clock just to put on full slap for the school run and stood around in a little huddle ( there was one gym-bunny with a body like a bag of coat hangers who always rocked up in a vast 4x4 wearing teeny-tiny lycra cycle shorts so we local-yokels could all admire her camel-toe Grin )

Just hold your head high and make cheery noises at whoever crosses your path ... They can't all be twats, law of averages! ( At least you didn't back your van into the headmistresses car like DP did ... )

DigOfTheStump · 04/01/2012 00:23

Perhaps a silly question, but how come it is your child,s first day, but in January? Does your school do two intakes?

If so does that not mean the youngest only get half a year in their first year? Surely they are at a very great disadvantage?

Jasper · 04/01/2012 00:35

Do lots of schools start on Jan 3rd?
Ours don't start till Jan 9 th

kiwimumof2boys · 04/01/2012 01:31

Oh that happened to me ! the parking thing . . . parked in what I thought was a parking space and accidently held up about 10 car loads of glaring mums and kids ! oops !
The next day was sternly advised 'not to park there' and in the newsletter that week there was a 'friendly reminder' about parents not parking there . . . oh dear.
Also I had previously parked in a mother and baby reserved park as I had DS (1) - there has now been a notice put up sternly reminding us that the mother and baby parks are for 'newborns and young babies only.'

kickassangel · 04/01/2012 01:47

I was once at a school where the parking spaces were numbered & assigned (but no notice to let you know that). It got announced in front of the entire staff that some new student teachers (me, me and me) had used some of the un-numbered non-assigned spaces, and even (shock) the visitors' parking spaces, and that we (that would be me) should find somewhere else to park. (Next nearest parking about a mile away).

I was WORKING THERE and they wouldn't let me park. AND they announced it in the meeting. (15 years later, I still haven't got over it)

Some people are just far too precious about their parking.

mathanxiety · 04/01/2012 03:40

Try not to misread other people's minds or get too caught up in the deja vu of your own first day anxieties. It's possible some of them admired your chutzpah..

Be yourself. You will be able to sort out the sheep from the goats in no time.

Backinthebox · 04/01/2012 07:59

Dig of the Stump

"Perhaps a silly question, but how come it is your child,s first day, but in January? Does your school do two intakes?

If so does that not mean the youngest only get half a year in their first year? Surely they are at a very great disadvantage?"

Apparently so! The school has been very keen to tell me my daughter will be at all kinds of disadvantage because I Held Her Back. I like to give them my best steely eyed pilot look and say I can see where they are coming from, but it never did me any harm. 3 months is not long in the grand scheme of your school years, but it's a long time in the life of a 4 year old. It's not a race to get your child educated as quickly as possible - childhood is supposed to be your preparation for life, and life consists of much more than just double geography. My Scandinavian SIL is a child development specialist, and is firmly of the opinion that formal education before the age of 6 is actually damaging. Since they all start school at 6 over there and yet as a nation are not intellectually stunted I am inclined to believe that there is no harm in keeping a younger child back a while, and in my daughter's case, at least, she has come on huge amounts in terms of her confidence and social interaction.

Northernlurker · 04/01/2012 08:23

My dd started yesterday too. As did my older two in their turn. It did them no harm at all. In fact I agree it was a positive. I am very dubious about summer born children attending school at just past 4 if it can possibly be avoided. Mine were all winter/spring babies and I left it as long as felt reasonable.

aldiwhore · 04/01/2012 09:10

Keep calm and carry on.

Now that I view the whole school thing as a bit of a living sitcom its much more easy to deal with.

Don't get angry, be entertained. It really is rather facinating.