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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to put the cot side back on? Help!!!

37 replies

Flojo1979 · 02/01/2012 12:10

My DD has turned 3 last month and 4 nights ago i took the cotbed side off (after an illness, shes just become potty trained thro day, still in nappies at night). The first night was great after a stern talking to she stayed in her bed all night, the past 3 nights however, shes been up n down like a yoyo, waking her brother (6) and I'm absolutely shattered. Back to work tomorrow. AIBU to put the cotbed side back on and leave it til she is dry thro the night? I have annual leave for the feb school hols so could maybe try again then? Or do i just have to be strong and see it thro? And yes i've done back to bed routine, i've done blackmail, bribery and plain shouting! and she still gets up, and is a nightmare thro the day cos shes tired and I'm tired and its not fun!

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 02/01/2012 12:16

Just consider the danger of her being able to climb over it. It wouldn't do any harm to leave it until the week before the half term, then you will have two weeks to get her into a routine.

Will she be going into nursery when you go back to work, this might get her into a natural routine for you.

It's whether you really cannot cope with the lack of sleep and going back to work at this moment.

valiumredhead · 02/01/2012 12:26

Stair gate on her bedroom door and potty in her room if she needs to pee. I doubt putting the side back on will stop her now she's got a taste for mischief Wink Straight back to bed with no reaction or conversation - she'll get the message once she realises it's not fun anymore.

valiumredhead · 02/01/2012 12:28

Do you mean she's still in a proper cot at 3? Because that would be dangerous if she climbs out, especially at night with no light or half a sleep. I have seen an older child fall from a cot - not something I would do, that's why as soon as ds could get his leg up over the side he was in a proper bed.

SmethwickBelle · 02/01/2012 12:29

Ahh! The fun and games when they're liberated! DS1 used to grab every toy in his room and pile them in his bed and sleep perched on the top.

I agree stairgate on bedroom door so she can't wander about the house and persevere, it's the novelty of it at the moment I daresay.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 02/01/2012 12:55

shes never showed any inclination to climb out hence why its been left, and left! I have a stairgate at the top of the stairs and one at the bottom and she can open both, it just gives me an extra minute to hear her! Perhaps invest in another one that is more difficult to open? Does anyone recommend one?
Yes valium, its a cotbed.

OP posts:
Birnamwood · 02/01/2012 12:58

The ones you screw into the wall are the best at being toddler proof ime. They seem to lack the coordination and strength to lift whilst pressing the lever.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 02/01/2012 13:00

Thanx, I'll have a look!

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 02/01/2012 13:06

I agree with birn - you need the hight to left the ones that screw into the wall, which kids don't have.

DedalusDigglesPocketWatch · 02/01/2012 13:12

I think op, that at 3yrs she is old enough to understand she needs to stay in bed and you can use stickers etc to encourage this.

I was interested when I saw the title due to being in a similar situation, difference being ds is 16m. I'm afraid I would get quite tough with a 3 year old, especially if it is disturbing everyone else.

Good luck!

valiumredhead · 02/01/2012 13:16

Ds was about 16 - 18 months too when we did it, toughen up OP Wink

jubilee10 · 02/01/2012 13:22

Do you mean she's still in a proper cot at 3? Ahh get over yourself! My three ds's all slept in 'proper cots' until well past their 4th birthdays with no problems at all and they all now sleep in 'proper beds'. I presume she is not getting up to use the toilet if she is still in nappies at night. I would try the side back on.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 02/01/2012 13:26

I am tough on her! But she waits half an hr and is up again.
My DS was totally different, and responded well to stickers and bribery! DD is very stubborn and a real handful, and being in a good night time routine was the only thing i could seem to do right, hence not wanting to rock the boat!

OP posts:
pickgo · 02/01/2012 13:29

Valium 'toughen up' with a 3 year old???????

Put the side back on OP and get some rest. Leave a duvet on the floor in front of the cot just in case she's now got ideas!

valiumredhead · 02/01/2012 13:30

Oh simmer down pick I was joking hence the wink.

DedalusDigglesPocketWatch · 02/01/2012 13:32

With DD, apart from the stickers etc, what really worked when she was playing up was the threat of turning off the landing light. We have only had to do it a couple of times as obviously if it is pitch black she can't see well enough to be getting toys/books etc out.

Dirtydishesmakemesad · 02/01/2012 14:51

my dd is about the same age and has been out of the cot a couple of months. She has and older brother and sister and they seemed to take to the idea of a bed really easily but dd3 has been awful. We have never had to put a gate on the bedroom before but we did for dd3 after we caught her trying to unlock the front door at 6am!. We put her in her room at bedtim shut the gate and leave her to it, she rarely cries she wanders about plays but falls asleep eventually even if its on the floor. The first few nights she was really late going to sleep but after that she gradually just realised that no one was gogin to come and play with her and that if she went to bed to go to sleep the morning would come and she woulf get all the company she loves again. I think when we stopped makign a huge deal about getting into bed she just settled on her own!

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 02/01/2012 15:42

She doesnt have any toys in her room, I have a play room downstairs (well the dining room anyway!) and all her stuff is in there otherwise i'd all get broken very quickly! So I'm thinking maybe the gate is a good idea and hope she gets bored quickly, but presumably it'll only be a short term fix as she'll need to go to the toilet probably in a few months, or does yours just shout when they need to go? My DD insisted she needed the toilet about 6 times last night and actually only used it once so this would be an issue too!

OP posts:
WhereMyMilk · 02/01/2012 15:47

DS, also 3 is still in his cotbed and until he tries to even think about climbing out, which isn't likely, he just shouts mummy, me awake! Long may that last, he is not going into a proper bed till he needs to.
OP, but the side back on and get some sleep:)

MotherOfSuburbia · 02/01/2012 15:51

Feeling like a terrible mummy now! Mine were all climbing over the sides of their cot before 2 but were kept in for quite a while because of space problems. I didn't realise it was an issue. Anyway - all survived to tell the tale...

mumnotmachine · 02/01/2012 15:58

Aww do kids really still fit in a cot at 3?
Mine were 14 months and 10 months when they went into a bed!!!

ZhenThereWereTwo · 02/01/2012 15:59

Try not talking just pick her up and put her back in bed. You may have to do this a lot before she gets bored and gives in. Worked with my DD, who was 18 months when we took the cotbed side off.

We had a monitor with a sensor pad though, it alarmed whenever she got out of the bed on the handset, so she soon got to realise that we knew if she was out and would often be climbing back in by the time we got there after a while Grin

valiumredhead · 02/01/2012 16:02

jubilee I wasn't criticising the OP - I was making sure I understood what her dd was sleeping in Confused but my comment still stands about her being too old to be in one due to safety. I am the last one to say anything as the mother of a boy who had a bottle for so long the SS ought to be called! Wink

Meglet · 02/01/2012 16:06

DS first climbed out of his cotbed at 3.4. There was no way he could hurt himself, he just vaulted the thing and dropped to the floor. I saw him do it a couple of times, he was quite tall by then

DD managed to get over the side and come downstairs in her Gro-Bag.

You need a stairgate across her door. She'll probably stand there and yell but should get the message.

valiumredhead · 02/01/2012 16:07

Ds used to do the standing and yelling, usually 'Mumeeeeeeeeeeeeee but I looooooooooooove yooooooooooooooooou!'

cherub59 · 02/01/2012 16:11

Stairgate on the door worked for us