to ask how you become organised and together? Seriously how??

[inatrance]

This is a question for any of you who used to be disorganised/flaky and are now organised and sorted. I have been like this for so long and I drive myself and everyone around me crackers. I'm unbelievably forgetful, I am late a lot and I'm rubbish with finances. I'm so fed up of cringing because I'm so bloody rubbish and make stupid mistakes all the time!

I've got an 8mth DS and a 10yo DD and while I've always had disorganised tendencies, since I had DS, it's gone from bad to ridiculous and I feel like I am constantly trying to catch up with myself.

I'm self employed (which is for the best as even I'd have sacked me by now) and have somehow managed to run my businesses haphazardly over the last ten years without fucking up too massively. Well, not often anyway...

Well, no more, I've had enough. I am using the New Year to kick me up the arse and I need your help.

If you used to be crap and are now brilliant and incredibly organised, please, please tell me how you did it. What changed in your mind and where the hell did you start?

[slowburner]

Rather too many ! there. Sorry all.

[Helenagrace]

I think LeQueen is my long lost twin

[Xenia]

I think it's inherent or it isn't. I am very like LeQueen. Even as a child I had catalogued my books with dewey library system numbers etc. Not surprisingly I manage a family of 5 children and am pretty successful etc. Most of that is down to hard work and being very organised. It also saves time. If you never go to bed without all the filing and tidying being done you always know where things are.

If you aren't you might even be dyspraxic. you might even find it worth hiring someone to help. Many many people only manage their lives because they hire a part time PA who does all that stuff they are no good at whilst they get on with what they are good at.

I also agree with LeQ about having routines. If you know that evern morning at X time you put on the dishwasher and washer come what may then you find that easy. If every night before school as we do you get everything ready for the children there is no rush the next day. Most have a ktichen diary with dates in.

In order never to be late ensure you are early for things and bring a book to fill the time if you're early.

I have filing cabinets and files for all the house stuff, schools, utility companies and every single day I deal with that day's post. I pay all bills on the day of receipt as long as I am here. There is never a backlog.

[Alliwantisaroomsomewhere]

This thread is going to be my life saver; but one question - how do I get my arse into gear to do the things I hate or am scared of??? DH has a very overdue tax return (costing us hundreds in fines!). It is no use saying he has to do it, because he won't so it is left to me. But I am petrified of it. What if I do it wrong? It is already costing us money.

Please don't blame DH or me for me being the one to do it. Dh is not great with form filling and writing whereas I am. So I do it. He is great with other things. But not tax returns.

I MUST DO THIS TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Bossybritches22]

Oh gawd, I feel so inadequate reading your efforts on here!!

My NY resolution is to declutter & put away & I'm trying to get the DD's (14 & 16) to do it with me.

I battle with depression so I find it difficult to get off MN my backside sometimes & actually DO the stuff I know is staring at me. Now I have lost one of my PT jobs I will have more time at home short term & I 'm determined to make the most of it.

My saving grace is my lovely dog. Because she HAS to be walked twice a day it makes me have fresh air at least once a day (try to get the DD's to do one in the holidays) & that invigorates me. Her walks are on my dailylist too!

I'm a great fan of breaking things down into small chunks or I get overwhelmed. I 'll start a long term to-do list & put down,say, sort & tidy lounge. Then sub-divide it into little bits...tidy desk...filing....sort DVD's etc so I can feel a sens of achievement when I've done at least one bit. If I'm having a bad day I try & do just ONE thing, hopefully 3 or 4 on a good day!

[Bonsoir]

I am naturally tidy and organised and do generally just gradually improve the overall level of organisation in my life (and that of my family).

However, there are only 24 hours in a day and I don't want to turn being organised into a FT job, so I do postpone tasks quite frequently. Some mothers I know are so organised that there is nothing left to their life but organising...

[rooksby]

This is brilliant :)

I used to be dreadful, and I was ALWAYS late. Not really late, but 10-15 minutes for almost everything. Then I went into a career where you can't be late for work and that helped me sort that out - as time went on I got better and better, realised that I needed to build in extra time for emergencies, getting changed into uniform, cup of tea in staff room before shift, etc and now am rarely late for anything. If I am it's usually out of my hands, e.g. traffic problems or bus being very late.

Direct debits are a lifesaver. Birthdays, bills, etc, I have a box with dividers (mine is a pretty one from Phoenix Trading) and check that every couple of weeks for upcoming things to post off. I buy stamps when I go to the supermarket and keep them in my diary cover and the drawer of my organiser box. I bulk buy greetings cards and wrap, envelopes, brown paper, sellotape etc, and I have a present cupboard, pick up stuff year-round in sales and stash it.

I have a calendar on the wall in the kitchen and one of those Organised Mum (cringe!) diaries, but it really is good - has tear-off shopping list bits and monthly planners as well as special bits for xmas, holidays etc. I bought a leather holder for it which means I can keep stamps, pen, cheque book etc with it at all times. I don't write anything anywhere else where it might get lost, though now I can cope with a paper to-do list for the day's chores or whatever.

None of this comes naturally to me and I still struggle to keep my tiny house tidy and clutter-free, but I am so much better than I was. I never ever thought people would ask me "how are you so organised?" but they do sometimes!

I feel much, much less stressed and don't have those awful heart-stopping moments because I haven't paid something on time or whatever. This year I'm hoping to get on top of the house and do my uni work BEFORE the deadline (work 3 days and have a toddler as well as doing a degree)!

Going to save this thread for inspiration :)

[daisie4]

I can see that makes sense, so will list more specifically. But, my list will be really long, so would you do a second list and transfer across say weekly?

[iFailedTheTuringTest]

I'm with le queen.

I am ocd organised, supernaturally tidy desk at work, baskets for scarves at home etc...cos I am actually obscenely lazy.

It's true, tidy is soo much easier.

It's just that initial push to get it started that hurts. !

[OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere]

Can I confess on here that I have a timer that I set for each room?
It helps me get on and stop faffing about.
You can get them from the £ shop.

[Helenagrace]

Daisie you could try having a long list of things you need to do in the future and a weekly or daily list that you move things across to from the big list.

Alternatively buy a second diary and write things in on specific dates.

I have monthly sheets in my bring forward file and I write things on those that are longer term like washing curtains and sorting through the DC's clothes.

[NormaStanleyFletcher]

Brilliant thread. I (we) really need to declutter.

Marking place to read later

[oldenoughtowearpurple]

Regarding putting off the nasty stuff - we are very driven by our immediate future, and our learning systems are built around avoiding nasty things. This means we tend to down play the long term consequences of anything and to fantasise about the worst case scenario. So when it comes to fixing the tax we think how scared we are of facing the nasty truth and doing the sums, and the possibility of getting the sums wrong and ending up in prison.

However, if you turn the thinking round so you think 'it will be so wonderful when I have sorted this tax out. We will have more money because we won't be paying fines, and this huge load will be off my mind' then it's much easier to get stuck in. You can add on to that 'when I have sent off this tax form then I can ' and hey presto, it all becomes a nice thing to do.

[LesserOfTwoWeevils]

I trick myself into doing unpleasant tasks by breaking them down into smaller tasks and telling myself I only have to do one part. Eg if there are clothes that really have to be ironed, I might decide to iron the three things that are most urgently needed.
Then when you've done one you think ok, I might as well do the next one...that didn't take long, might as well do another...nearly done now, so I might as well finish the job.

[KKKKaty]

Great thread. I used to be a fly by the seat of the pants sort of girl until I had DCs but now of course that's not doable so I am now pretty organised.

The things that work for me are:-

1. Buy a big A4 size day to a page diary. I draw in four boxes along the top of each page. Box 1 is my husbands shift that day so I know whether he'll be in/out/in for dinner etc. Box 2 is what I have scheduled for the morning pre-lunch/nap, e.g. Tesco. Box 3 is what I have scheduled for the afternoon - DC1 to nursery, visit to someone's house etc. Box 4 is what I have planned for dinner.
   

Underneath the boxes I have that day's to do list, which I look at first thing in the morning. Always check it before bed and if stuff hasn't got done then it gets rescheduled for tomorrow or another day.

Write in all birthdays, etc. at the beginning of the year on the actual day and also with one or two "warnings" say a month and a fortnight beforehand so you can get a card, present etc well in advance. I also have a "master list" of cards and presents that need buying in the back of the book which I look at every now and then and buy all cards etc. for the next two or so months in one go.

1. Routine. Do the same things in the same order every day (obviously within reason). I.e. I put the washing on first thing. (In fact I put the laundry basket on the landing when the kids go to bed and put all clothes etc in it as they are taken off. It's then ready just to pick up and chuck in the washing machine first thing with no bother.) I unload the dishwasher in the evening so the kitchen is all ready to go in the morning and breakfast can be made before the whining from the DC starts.
   

1. Always clear a room as you leave it. e.g. after getting dressed in the morning I always check the bed is made, all toys etc that the DCs have dragged in are returned to their bedrooms, all stuff back in drawers etc. Load dishwasher and do washing up directly after each meal so the kitchen is always clear.
   

1. Do things little and often. Make sure you do the ironing every other day for example so it takes only ten minutes - much less daunting than doing half an hour's worth in one go. If you can't find time to clean the bathroom all in one go (which I never can) then do the sink one day after your shower, the loo the next, the shower the next etc. Or do a bit whilst the kids are in the bath.
   

There are probably other things too, but I'll stop there before this post becomes too huge.

[HalfMumHalfBiscuit]

Those seeking support with plans and lists are welcome to join us here here

I found this lot useful when I had a small baby/Pnd. Nice supportive and full of suggestions thread.

[BornToFolk]

"My mantra is A Little But Often"

Yes, me too. DP and I both work full time so we don't really have time for a full on cleaning and tidying blitz so we have to keep on top of it. So, I do things like clean the loo when DS is in the bath. I never go upstairs empty-handed - I have a quick look around and there's always something to go up. Similarly, I never leave the house without checking whether there's something to go in the wheely bin.

My New Year's Resolution is to be better with dealing with birthdays. At the beginning of each month, I'm going to check I've got all the cards I need for that month, do one trip to the card shop if needed, then one trip to the post office to send everything.

[iFailedTheTuringTest]

Yes to that le queen -
I suspect my catchphrase might be
'yes its .....here'

Work or home, everyone asks me where random Shit is. And my answer is....

[iFailedTheTuringTest]

Ps born to

The dreaded Facebook is good for birthdays, mine synch with my android phone calendar. Job done.