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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Bring your own drink at parties.

64 replies

loveulotslikejellytots · 01/01/2012 20:43

NYE party last night at a friends house I took a box of Budweiser as that's all I really drink. Only my friend and I were drinking them, she had also brought a box with her.

I noticed after a while that 3 other people were also drinking them, one of them hadn't brought anything with them to drink (fair enough, I don't have a problem with sharing) but the other person and her daughter had brought 1 bottle of red wine (which I know they don't drink). In total out of a box of 12 or 15 bottles of beer I ended up actually drinking 4 because they were all gone by the time I went to get another one. I don't know how many my friend got but she also brought vodka.

Am I being really mean spirited and tight? DH thinks I should expect that at a party.

OP posts:

jalopy · 02/01/2012 15:11

Did you have to stand in the kitchen and guard them?

Wittsend13 · 02/01/2012 15:13

I always bring drinks to any party I attend. IMO its a free for all. Thats the spirit of a party and getting to know everyone. I do think it's rude to turn up empty handed though.

OlympicEater · 02/01/2012 15:40

Agree with slightly's type 2 party being the norm.

Rather annoyingly in our social group there is one couple with a reputation for being tight who unfailingly turn up with one bottle of cheap crappy wine between them and proceed to drink massive amounts of everything else that is there and then attempt like TSCs friend to take theirs home again.

One friends solution to this is to open it immediately and pour them each a large glass with a big smile saying "I always assume people bring what they would prefer to drink, so here is yours"

ChaoticAngel · 02/01/2012 15:50

I have to be careful about what I drink because of my stomach rather than my head.

I don't drink beer/lager, unless it's in a shandy, because it makes me sick.

I can buy two bottles of eg, chardonnay, that are from different vineyards, drink one no problem but the second would end up being poured down the sink because it would make me feel sick.

Consequently I usually drink shorts but even here I have to be careful. I can drink two different types, eg gin and southern comfort (with mixers), with no problems. If you add a third into the mix I'm likely to be sick.

Anyone spot a pattern here?

So if I go to a party then I'll take a bottle of something and a mixer but I'll put it somewhere out of the way, but easy enough for me to access, to discourage anyone else from drinking it. I'm sure the host would rather I kept my own drink to myself than risk me being sick especially as there's no guarantee that the bathroom would not be in use when I needed it

OP YANBU

thepeoplesprincess · 02/01/2012 15:53

I've just had a nosy on the Sainsbogs website and the bottles of Bud are only 1.5 units each so 15 bottles isn't actually far too many at all for one person to drink on their own. It's only equivalent to a couple of bottles of wine.

jellybeans · 02/01/2012 16:19

I think it is abit odd to take something and expect to just have it yourself? I assumed whatever you take is a gift and not for you yourself to consume? (Unless host keeps to one side Coeliac beer or something which is fair enough as they really cannot drink normal beer) I bet whoever took it assumed it was there to be shared? Who can blame them. I usually take a bottle of red and bottle of white, would not go empty handed. Neither would I expect only one type of drink or my favourite even though I have chronic migraine. Only thing I cannot drink is beer and lager as it has barley in and I am coeliac. I wouldn't expect gluten free beer though and would drink something else.

PercyFilth · 02/01/2012 16:27

If I were the host, jellybeans, and was aware of your situation, I would welcome you bringing your own tipple, and would assist in ensuring that you had it to yourself. Much easier than trying to source it myself.

Let's face it, many people have specific needs or tastes and it's much easier if they cater for themselves. But you can't expect others not to drink your drinks if they're not aware.

Noopypappy · 02/01/2012 16:29

I took some Becks Blue to a party when I was pregnant. They all got drunk by others but amusingly the people didn't realise it was alcohol free - they hadn't drunk much first either!

missmapp · 02/01/2012 16:34

The only time I have taken a drink I wanted to keep to myself at a party was when I was pregnant and off alcohol, otherwise it goes in the pot, it really is a gift to your host and I dont think you should rely on being able to drink it all

marriednotdead · 02/01/2012 16:41

I think drinks you bring are to share BUT I would expect people to bring something akin to what they intend to drink. We had a big BBQ in the summer and a known freeloader guest brought some cheap plonk. Fair dos but when he asked for the Corvoisier a while later, DH asked him where he'd put it when he came in

PercyFilth · 02/01/2012 16:50

If it's a gift to the host, then it should not be offered to other guests at all, unless the host doesn't like it decides to do so.

cambridgeferret · 02/01/2012 20:08

Blimey, what parties have I been going to all these years?

The unwritten rule at parties I've been to (tended to be same people though) was take your own and stick to it, unless you ask first. We usually ended up finding new and creative places to hide booze.
I'm not sure hiding tins in the oven is a good idea though. Imagine the scenario when host makes dinner next day and turns the oven on...cue loud bang that can be heard three houses away and cans ricocheting through the kitchen like missiles.... And a lot of cleaning.

Oddest party I went to was when the host gratefully received all bottles of , squirelled them away, got out his own cheap plonk and limited everyone to one glass as "he didn't know if more people would turn up". And that was all the drink available.

Food was a cheap ready meal served from tray and a M&S chocolate brownie serving 8. For 12 of us.

Nothing topped that, even a gay car key party that exH and me ended up at.

zest01 · 03/01/2012 19:52

yabu but so are the people who didn't bring but drank others. Alchohol is usually the most expensive art of a party and I would expect friends drinking alchohol to contibute SOMETHING though not everything they plan to drink so I will still get the majority of the alchohol if that makes sense. I would never dream of going to a party or dinner with nothing - I take a bottle "for the pot" even if I am not drinking myself and will usually offer to bring a pudding or something if the host would like.

However only drinking one brand and expecting to have your own drinks all to yourself is unreasonable imo, it just seems a bit...well precious really.

samandi · 04/01/2012 12:49

It's generally good form to bring your own drinks and extremely bad form to turn up with nothing IMO.

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