To let dd have a sleepover with a 13 year old boy?

[Memoo]

dd has been friends with L since they started together in nursery. They are also both friend with 2 other girls. L mum has always believed from him being a very young age that he is gay. This is not a problem at all and now aged 13 it certainly seems that he is.

I'm telling you all this so as not to drip feed

My Dd is 13 in a few weeks and has asked if L can sleep over. I have no problem with this at all. There is no way L see my dd as anything other than a friend and he is only interested in boys. There is no way I would let another 13 yo boy spend the night in dd's room.

My mother, however. Thinks allowing them to stay in the same room is really really wrong, and has spent the whole of Christmas going on about this.

She doesn't accept that a teenager can be gay and is very much of the opinion that being gay is "learnt" which I think is bollocks.

Soooo, what do I let the sleepover go ahead?

Good point, squeaky

No need for sleepovers...

Is there any chance you could invite aound friend to the sleepover? An extra friend as a treat (aka chaperone)...

How about approaching it as though you were a teacher on a school trip?

"There is no way I can let a co-ed sleepover happen, I'd lose my job, imagine what the Daily Mail would say, though of course I totally respect your friendship and appreciate that two clever, mature and funky teenagers would NEVER DO ANYTHING UNDER MY ROOF, but am afraid I just can't risk my job, sweethearts..."

Don't forget - you're the grown up and getting the upperhand is part of the fun

"Damn that Daily Mail"/

I don't get it either. But it's what they all do. Not sure they actually sleep much though. They sit eating crap til somebody is sick and watch DVDs.
A women I know had 12 of them sleep over!!! They took sleeping bags and slept on the floor.

I had 8 boys stay over for my sons 14, never ever again

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news (and apologies if already been mentioned as have skimmed through thread) but gay or not - if your DD and this boy did want to have sex with each other then a sleepover would probably be the last place they would do it.

There are a million and one other avenues open to them

Allow the sleepover - no harm will come of it

How old is your ds btw?

Am I the only one who finds it a bit that this boy is assumed to be gay from such a young age. Of course a teenager can be gay so I am not seeing this from your mum's POV, but from what you have written (e.g. there was no need for him to come out, it was always obvious he was gay) it seems a bit like people have just foisted this identity onto him without him actually saying he is interested in boys

I also don't think there is a need for a sleepover, but if you must then you are doing the right thing be not allowing them to sleep in the same bedroom.

Sleepovers are for fun, not practical reasons, the majority of the time. Kids stay up late watching DVDs and doing stupid stuff (IMO) that kids like to to.

I don't think the fact that this lad is gay is terribly relevant. I reckon most gay blokes have shagged a female at some point, just to check it out.

But as they have known each other since nursery and a family friends I really wouldn't be that bothered about the sleepover. If they are going to have sex it's far more likely to happen when you leave them for an hour while you go to Sainsbury's int the middle of the day any way.