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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To waste the cinema tickets

51 replies

ILoveSanta · 01/01/2012 13:40

This morning I booked tickets for puss in boots 3d for me, my dh and ds (4 yr old).

All was fine until we asked ds to get dressed and tidy his toys away. Cue the most massive strop, hitting my dh, kicking, telling us he hated us, finally spending 40 mins trying to get him to sit on the naughty step.

I have now told him he is not going to the cinema. I am so angry with him. And angry with myself for bloody booking them.

So am I being unreasonable to now waste the tickets? I just don't feel I can take him after his behaviour just now.

:-(

OP posts:
Original poster
ILoveSanta · 01/01/2012 13:41

Ps I don't even know what led to the strop, he's used to getting ready for nursery every day etc. just flummoxed. :-(

OP posts:
civilfawlty · 01/01/2012 13:43

Absolutely not unreasonable. Once you have set boundaries they must be stuck to. Seems reasonable too-not sure why you would reward bad behaviour.

Original poster
ILoveSanta · 01/01/2012 13:44

That's how I feel. Just so angry about wasting £30!

No way do I want to take him if he's being a brat!

OP posts:
RosemaryandThyme · 01/01/2012 13:47

I'd back down if it was me, and take him, but thats' just because its' a lot of money and a rare treat to us, not for any parenting/discipline reason.

randommoment · 01/01/2012 13:49

Anyone you can give or sell the tickets to at such short notice - if it's Swindon shout now and I'll jump in the car!

DuchessofMalfi · 01/01/2012 13:49

If he's anything like my DS, he's still over-excited, and over-tired from Christmas. He's having huge tantrums because he's exhausted.

ChaoticAngel · 01/01/2012 13:50

Don't back down. Your DS needs to learn that there are consequences to throwing a tantrum. Can your DH take your DD so not all the money is wasted.

Original poster
ILoveSanta · 01/01/2012 14:21

It's not Swindon sorry!

£30 is a lot of money for us for an afternoon out just after christmas which is why I feel so bad, but why should he be allowed to go and have a nice treat after behaving so badly.

Just a shame it's such a waste!

OP posts:
stressheaderic · 01/01/2012 14:25

I'd have done the same. A minor strop and short tantrum and I'd have gone, but 40 mins worth and hitting - no way.

happynew2012 · 01/01/2012 14:27

One of you needs to take dd

You can't punish her for her brothers behaviour Sad

happynew2012 · 01/01/2012 14:28

Oops don't know why i thought there was a dd in the op

Jackstini · 01/01/2012 14:29

Can someone babysit and you two go without him?
That might be even more of a punishment and certainly less of a waste!

mrsjay · 01/01/2012 14:30

how is he behaving now ? what time does the film start ? i know hes been naughty but i would still go for the simple fact i wouldnt waste 30 quid Grin its an expensive punishment , but it does depend on his behaviour ,

happynew2012 · 01/01/2012 14:31

Jackstini - he's only 4!!
Are you trying to scar him for life?
Blimey i would let it go, most four year olds are wound up by all the excitement this time of year
Was he up late last night for the new year?

4madboys · 01/01/2012 14:32

did you warn him if he didnt stop his tantrum he wouldnt be going? if so they you have to follow through and maybe ask on fb if anyone local to you wants the tickets so you dont lose the money.

if you didnt say to him to stop or he wont go to the cinema then i am not sure tbh, as its like an extra punishment on top of the naughty step? which is fine if you gave him a warning of that consequence.

4madboys · 01/01/2012 14:32

and yes xmas/new year excitement etc will not be helping his behaviour, anyway he could 'earn' the cinema treat back by doing some little jobs around the house?

ibbydibby · 01/01/2012 14:39

ILoveSanta not sure if this is to late, but a few months ago I managed to get a refund on a cinema ticket booked on-line. I had booked 3 tickets for DS and 2 friends (they are 14), but one of them "forgot" to turn up, so when we got to the cinema I asked if it was possible to have a refund, and they kindly did it. Manager did say that it was at their discretion, and they probably would not do it if very busy. Is there any chance you could get a refund on some of the tickets if not all?

Sorry about your predicament!

Kytti · 01/01/2012 14:58

I'm sorry happynew2012 but do you really think that discipline is scaring for life? Bloody hell. If my four year old carried on like that no way would we reward that behaviour! All it teaches them is 'say sorry and you'll get away with anything.'

You don't have to be angry with them, just calmly explain that because they were so naughty they're not off to the cinema.

Blimey...

festi · 01/01/2012 15:11

silly thing to threat in the first place in my opinion, would absoluty absurd to pay £30 and not go thefore why even suggest it to begin with its unrealistic as you will take him anyway, if you dont you playing spite games with a 4 year old and thats not great parenting either.

Im sure you will take him anyway but just remember for future set realistic and achievable punishments in future. May have been far better to say, you will not have sweets at the cinema or it will be a bath and straight to bed when we return.

Pandemoniaa · 01/01/2012 15:37

I wouldn't willingly reward atrocious behaviour but actually, I would give an early and specific warning of the consequences of it.

Given that he's just had the excitements of Christmas and New Year, I'm sure your 4 year old is over-excited and over emotional. Not that these are reasons to accept a massive tantrum of the type you describe. However, I think it is always best to warn that a treat will be taken away if they continue rather than decide their fate afterwards.

I'd not, personally, waste the £30 but I wouldn't let the outing be seen as a treat for behaving badly.

Neuromantic · 01/01/2012 15:49

I'd go. He's only four and won't really learn a lesson from it anyway. You're only punishing yourself really.

LadyBeagleEyes · 01/01/2012 15:52

Just take him.
He's over excited and 4 years old.

thepeoplesprincess · 01/01/2012 15:57

I'd still go, and let it be a lesson to myself to not threaten things I wasn't prepared to stick to.

tallulahxhunny · 01/01/2012 15:58

Been there done that! But I had 2 of them playing up. It cost me £27 but I didn't take them, but mine are 6 & 8 Smile

happynew2012 · 01/01/2012 15:59

Kytti - I didn't say discipline woukd scar him for life!!!

But someone said on here to get a babysitter & go to the film without him which in my opinion would be cruel and daft

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