cringey moment in charity shop.

[Nevergarglebrandybutter]

Here's the scene: town centre charity shop a few weeks ago.

I spy a notice board for sale and think oh that's bloody useful and just what i need to a craft project i'm planning. i pick it up.

Person I don't know.

Person: "oh, you've picked it up, oh never mind"
Me: " yup, too slooooooowww"
Person:
Me:

Then she stood behind me at the til while i bought it and we stood in silence.

Why, why, why must I speak, or go out in public.

I was supposed to give her the noticeboard wasn't I. I wasn't supposed to taunt her about it either. Ah fuck.

As anyone ever had that moment whilst trying shoes, when you totter off to walk in the new shoes you are trying on, only to return and someone is about to try on your old shoes? I have laughed it off but it is tricky trying to hold onto both the new shoes and your old shoes.

if you're old shoes still look new, i'm thinking you don't need new shoes!

Pmsl!!!!!!

I once said to a friend as we drove past a harvester "have you eveer been to a harvester before?" in that daft voice the lady used to use n the harvester adverts. Friend though i was being serious and said no. I looked like a complete nob head.

Hilarious

too sloooow!!

dressed as a field of sheep!!

priceless!!!!!

Never- Are you my dhin disguise?
I know I don't technically need new shoes or another new bag for that, but you know someone has to keep the shops going x.

I am crying with laughter at dressing as a field of sheep. Brilliant, just brilliant.

lurking at Selfridge's shoe sale an assistant warned me never to leave my shoes behind while I looked at the new ones in a mirror.

She said customers' shoes sometimes walked because if you were buying there chances were you'd probably be wearing a pair worth pinching.

I now lug everything about with me - coat, bag, shoes, shopping. It does take the joy out of sales shopping - not that there's much to start with

to be honest the scene at the car was more like,

DH, "fuck, i'm taking this lot off" .
NG: "no, you're bloody not, stick with it please i have no vest on!! i have no choice."
DH "sorry"
NG: "ah fuck. where's the scrumpy?"

he kept his heel spurs on though

In bed too? That's worse than gnarly toenails.

what do you take me for limited.

we turned up at a fancy dress 70's do and were the only 4 people who bothered to dress up! a definate 'need a drink.. NOW moment.

Your field of sheep (which sounds ace - who wears lbds to a barn dance?) reminds me of a fancy dress party me and my flatmates went to years ago. It was a James Bond theme, so we decided that all the women would be James Bond (in various incarnations - I mostly had lots of rope over my shoulder) and the men Bond Girls. Got to the party, with v tall flatmate in Lurex catsuit (a bit too short, displaying fetching skinny calves) and blonde wig, plus an excellent oddjob, involving rolls of padding parcel taped all over the body under a big suit, to find all the other men at the party in tuxedos, and all - literally all - the women dressed as Moneypenny.

Worse to come - we left Lurex/blonde wig catsuit friend asleep in chair with a lady he'd had his eye on, forgetting that he had no pockets, and no money. So he wakes up the next day in a roomful of strangers, like a very worse for wear Ursula Andress (or something), and had to phone my other flatmate. So what the good citizens of the West End of Glasgow witnessed that Sunday morning was a taxi arriving, and a soberly dressed young man coming out to pay the driver, so that he could take a very dodgy-looking tranvestite in ill-fitting Lurex up to his flat. It looked like the worst escort service ever...

brilliant, you've got to love fancy dress.

lawyers from London apparently wear chic clothes to a barn dance.

i didn't need to explain that I didn't have a job at the time.

Reminds me of when DSis & BIL had a Sad Old Gits and Tarts Party, except that I read it as Sad Old Tarts and dressed myself up as the worst middle-aged old tart you could imagine. When we arrived, all the other women looked amazingly sexy in slit skirts, stockings and high heels. There was I with blacked out teeth, down at heel shoes, tatty tights etc. The horror, the horror!

I went into work on Halloween dressed as a zombie with loads of fake blood, ripped fishnets etc.......not one other bastarding colleague bothered to dress up too, even though they all said they were going too.

Couldn't even have a drink as it was work

icelollycraving and quirrelquarrel I can't believe you have not been flamed for being facetiously oneleggedist.

I was once queuing at the cigarette counter in Tesco and, in my pre-menstrual state, had quite an outburst at the people who were blatantly queue-hopping (something that makes me MAD). I spoke out, ranting "am I invisible here? "None of you have any manners!" only to have it calmly pointed out to me that the cashiers were serving two separate queues - one for lottery, the other for cigarettes/newspapers etc. Well, I could have died! I'm normally the type to tut and sigh so I was proud of myself for speaking out - just a shame there was no justification for it!

No, you shouldn't have given it to her. I think it's funny - anyone could tell you were joking.

At my wedding we had a receiving line even though I really didn't want to, I was only just 24 and it just felt really stuffy so I was nervous as hell. To EVERY person who said congratulations I replied 'congratulations'. WTAF was I thinking, not once, I mustve done it 30 times!

yy, there are some people who just shouldn't do line ups. I dread being on either side in case i say something stupid.

DH has one that makes him beetroot with embarrassment even now.

At work, on the phone, he meant to say to a client. "Thankyou".

Simple!

he said 'Thanks you' as he hung up, and it came out so camp he didn't know what the hell to do.

oh habbibu - I laughed so hard at that, my eyes popped a bit