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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be scared of driving?

43 replies

ExcitedElectrons · 29/12/2011 20:38

I realise I may be flamed with the "if your scared of driving you shouldn't be on the road" malarkey but regardless.

I recently passed my test (two months ago) first time and I absolutely love driving - I love my car and am a decent driver. However I sometimes get scared when driving, I think due to the lack of experience even though I have driven lots.

The first thing that makes me panic is hills. My car rolls back on even the slightest of hills so I end up having to put the hand brake on constantly which, of course, really is not necessary as most people just use the foot brake - especially when waiting in a queue of traffic on a slope.

The second thing is parking. Now don't get me wrong, I have so far parked fine but I always reverse in for I have the fear if I drove in I would get too close to another car - at least when reversing in you can drive forward and straighten up. I always have the niggling feeling I will touch another car and it terrifies me.

Basically all I am asking is, would you say this feeling is normal because I haven't passed for very long and with more experience of driving I should be fine? And does anyone else ever feel the same?

FWIW, before anyone asks on my hill starts, I am fine with them - as I say, I AM a decent driver and I know how to do everything, it's just the "skill" involved.

TIA.

OP posts:

JustHecate · 29/12/2011 20:42

You're new to it, it's normal to feel a bit anxious. The important thing is that you are competent. Your confidence will improve with time. Just keep putting yourself into the situations that make you anxious and practice practice practice

and if that should have been an 's', I will really have pissed off the pedants

And get your car checked out asap. It shouldn't be rolling back like that. You should be able to keep it still by balancing the clutch.

ViviPrudolf · 29/12/2011 20:42

Two months isn't very long
ALL cars will roll back when stationary on a hill. Yours isn't particularly rolly-backy. Practise slowing/starting/stopping on hills on quiet roads where you're not under any pressure.
Reversing into parking spaces is best practise so don't feel inadequate about doing it. You're doing it right.
You will be fine with more experience.

JustHecate · 29/12/2011 20:43

oh, I read it that the foot brake wasn't stopping the car rolling back

Iggly · 29/12/2011 20:43

YANBU

Driving when learning isn't the same as once you've passed - you're in charge once you've passed and it is scary (I passed in Feb).

The more you drive, the easier it gets. I at your bit about being on hills - I had the same issue and fine now!

FabbyChic · 29/12/2011 20:44

Once you get experienced in clutch control you won't roll on a hill, I never use my handbrake.

IndianOcean · 29/12/2011 20:44

What Vivi said.

Your feeling is entirely normal, you sound very competent, and as you get more fluent and experienced your anxiety will disappear.

Good for you for reversing into spaces - that's what you are supposed to do! Unless you live in America and park in malls and never have to parallel park!

SantasCave · 29/12/2011 20:44

If you are still nervous it might be worth having some more lessons. There is no law that says you can't continue having lessons after your test. Perhaps look at the Pass Plus course?

ViviPrudolf · 29/12/2011 20:44

Ok Hectate & I seem to be at odds over the rolly-backy. Which makes me think we need to know more about it OP. Can you explain it any further? Are you saying that its difficult to hold on the bite? Or if you stop on a very slight incline, you feel it the slope isn't steep enough as to make a car roll back, but yours is?

Feminine · 29/12/2011 20:45

You still have loads of time to get more comfortable.

You passed your test ...now you are learning to drive

Its totally normal to feel like you are (I did) as you gain confidence you will end up doing more and more things, you didn't think you could.

One day, you might not need that handbrake ,promise...

Oh and...the road is for everyone, you take your time and feel safe :)

Original poster

ExcitedElectrons · 29/12/2011 20:46

Thank you everyone so far . Sorry Prudolf I should have stated that in no way am I blaming my actual car for rolling back lots, I understand the laws of physics, I just cannot grasp using just the footbrake on hills I get too worried!!

OP posts:

ViviPrudolf · 29/12/2011 20:46

I seem to have got my practise & practice mixed up

BlissfulMistletoe · 29/12/2011 20:46

Confidence driving in a car takes time.

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 29/12/2011 20:47

Yes, it should have been an 's'

It took my quite a while to feel really confident after passing my test and even longer on the motorway. You would probably be over-confident if you felt you didn't need more practise.

bumpybecky · 29/12/2011 20:48

it gets easier :)

I passed in March and find most things so much easier now 9 months later :) I still drive the slightly longer way to Tesco to avoid a nasty hill start though!

ViviPrudolf · 29/12/2011 20:48

ah ok, OP I garuantee that will definitely come with time.

I drive our automatic pretty much all the time and I'm lazy and just let it hold itself on slopes (don't tell DP) but when I drive the MerdeMobile, which has a manual gearbox, I have to reacquaint myself with the brakes & bite on hills. And I've been driving for 15 years. So don't feel bad about it.

humblehippo · 29/12/2011 20:49

I thought it was normal to use the handbrake while waiting on a hill?!

ViviPrudolf · 29/12/2011 20:50

OMG my spelling has really taken a nosedive on this thread

ViviPrudolf · 29/12/2011 20:51

humble my old Fiesta's handbrake didn't even function for the last few months of its life....

ladywithnomanors · 29/12/2011 20:52

Well done for passing your test .
I have never even had a driving lesson because of my fear of driving .

LRDtheFeministDragon · 29/12/2011 20:53

You should not use just the footbrake. It's not safe. You're doing exactly the right thing by using the handbrake too.

Some people will occasionallly be lazy and only use the foot brake on a gentle slope, but inevitably the car will roll back a little when they move off, so it's not really so safe or good.

It sounds as if you are very safe and cautious - pass plus is great if you want some reassurance, but I'm sure you being a bit scared is actually making you a safe driver.

It will get easier, too.

cheekychubster · 29/12/2011 20:55

I feel so much better reading this op

I passed on the 2nd December and despair at my own nerves now i can go out and about on my own!

I've gone from a very confident learner to a nervous driver

Doesnt help that i'm now driving a bloody great 2L engine tank instead of a lovely little car.

I have devised routes around the town to avoid all hills. DH rolls his eyes in despair at me

Selks · 29/12/2011 20:55

Excited, you're a new driver, you're bound to still be a little nervous,,,,better that than too cocky! You'll feel more confident with time, just keep driving. And for what it's worth, it sounds like you're a good driver

BastedTurkey · 29/12/2011 20:56

It sounds to me like you just need to practise, which over time you will have done.

A lot of young drivers are dangerous cos they are not scared, so as soon as they pass their tests they think they are invincible whereas you have a healthy respect for your car and the dangers involved in driving. Nothing wrong with that

Original poster

ExcitedElectrons · 29/12/2011 20:58

Again thank you everyone, you have all really reassured me. Thinking about it now, 2 months really isn't that long.

I was meant to say that although I do reverse into parking spaces, I still get panicky just in-case I touch another car!

Also on slopes, I do find it hard to hold the biting point - lots of times my car has stalled on me which gives me even more of a fear. But now I realise I'm probably over panicking and with time everything should become easier.

SantasCave I was going to do pass plus lessons but at the moment I cannot afford it. I realise this would help me lots.

Humblehippo Yes you are supposed to use the handbrake on hills but on slowly moving traffic on steep slopes I am left feeling amazed at people who just rely on their footbrake when there is me constantly fighting with the handbrake!

OP posts:

shineypenny · 29/12/2011 20:59

It sounds to me like you are doing fantastically. I have been driving for fifteen years and I still hate reverse parking - I have discovered the miracle of parking sensors

Keep going, it will all come in time. So what if you do put the handbrake on everytime you're on a hill? It is the way your instructor taught you and is the safest way. You won't be holding anyone up by more than a second.

The day will come when you will be whizzing up a hill, about to turn right. You will slow for a passing car and hold the car on the bite without even thinking about it. Forget about it, keep using your handbrake and one day it will just come naturally.

Happy driving :)

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